Documentary Talk

While I have been fighting for my life and waiting for life-saving emergency surgeries, which is something I've mentioned from time to time; I wanted to talk about, to those who have just joined this page and to those who have been a part of it all along, a reminder of why I started it. Though there are several reasons, the main reason was to create a documentary.

While a lot of people don't know who I am as of yet, throughout the world, at least through mainstream media; for years I have lived in the world that we call celebrity. I am known throughout the music world and movie industries.  Many of my friends have made a successful living in the entrepreneurial world, but more so in the field of the arts.

I bring up my heath because the way I have suffered is inhumane. It has given me an understanding of how we view all aspects of this world. When doing a poll or a study, it is critical that there are a thousand people that are interviewed.  When we do this, we then use mathematics to create statistics based upon the results from a thousand people encompassing the total of the people of the United States.

When doing tests for medicine we do what is called a double blind placebo test.  These are guidelines that are followed, and sometimes laws, so that the question/answer process, or testing procedure can be valued as truth and speak for a nation. It gives it relevance.  Through time, we have found, that by doing things this way, that through these thousand people, we can nail down an outcome, again, for an entire nation.

It seems quite silly, but is usually quite accurate.

In my vision of this documentary, I decided to follow the same guidelines.  Since I have been ill, the process has been more difficult as I have not had a direct hands on approach the way I desire, but will not allow anyone else to do this for me.   As I am the only one that can understand my own vision, as it can not be explained because no one has gone through what I am going through.  I will not speak on how many people have been interviewed. I believe the process would be done by now, if I were healthy; but as soon as we get to that one thousand number, then the real work begins.

I imagine if I had gotten healthier, and my movie, which is coordinated with the documentary, and my album had been released, as the clout that comes from fame, would have inevitably been taken over: people would have jumped at the chance to tell their story.  So here are some interesting points.  Most of the people that are interviewed are everyday, what we call, civilians.  This is a term that is used consistently in Hollywood.  

Hollywood is not a city.  It is an institution that controls the world.  I don't believe there is a person on this planet that would disagree with me on this point.  However, dozens of the people interviewed live in the world of celebrity.  These are people that I have known for many years, and a couple dozen of them are what I would call friends.  On a sidenote: when I became ill, let me rephrase, seriously ill, for the second time in my life  my very famous friends had turned their back on me.  As I had given my word that this documentary would be done: to better the lives of the people involved and of this world. Remarkably, though not surprisingly, I had found with calling in favors for my friends, that the moment I mentioned a camera crew, they were up for the task.

Many musicians, what we call movie stars, as of now very popular A list actors, and even people who actually have their own shows, hence reality shows, have gotten involved.  Though in most interviews I have not been able to be there personally, I would take part via webcam.  I found that it had given people comfort to see my face and hear my voice as the conviction of what I am doing is lost  when I am not involved and also for the fact that throughout my years on this earth, I am deemed as a very trustworthy, honest person which allows for many of these people to feel safe when I give my word.  What is phenomenal is to see the difference in people.

Most people who are going through something unimaginable to the rest of the world, that is unimaginable to themselves, especially dealing with health issues, do not want to speak and have not wanted to take part.  It is the people who have gotten better, went through tragedy into triumph who now want to tell their story.  I suppose people have a difficult time talking about their problems while undergoing them as their problems are a daily reminder; and as they try to cope it is a hardship within itself to simply speak of it.  It is a constant reminder of something that you are always reminded of.  I understand this.

I am confused by the fact that when pain becomes so great that people want someone to whisk in and save them, but won't do so when help is offered. But I also understand that the lack of trust and hopelessness from what man has done to them, creates a jaded strength.  And I am amazed that when people state they are in pain, they are held in contempt as this is somehow a fault which allows man to pass judgment. When talking to the medical community;  the sick who have had to build the strength to survive; the medical community look at these people as weak.  As they try to deal and cope with incredible strength and grace, and in this generation of modern medicine, the medical community does not believe that someone could come in with these virtues and be that sick, even when the test results show to the contrary.

I have been deemed myself, by the medical community, as combative.  I speak my mind.  We all know ourselves better than anyone else could.  And somehow people become offended by this fact. And let me remind you that I was once a doctor.  When this documentary comes out, you will be horrified of what is going on inside hospitals and doctor's offices.   Along with religion.  The churches that have been interviewed.  The judgment placed. I will give you a fact: churches are tax exempt.  The government does this for them for the reason, as in good faith, they believe in the institution of religion, to use this money that is not paid into taxes, to help those who are in need.  And they must do so accordingly to federal guidelines.   The dishonesty of doctors, of the church, the corruption and abuse, you will see is unprecedented. We have interviewed law officials, federal and state employees including soldiers and even many homeless individuals and so many other people who we classify, and you will see the heresy, the chaos that is being created by the people that we pay to ensure fairness and humanity.

It is also very interesting how we view each other, and our own struggles.  I wanted to bring in people that have had great success in this world, and show the difference on how they look at themselves and others.  It is amazing to find that one person's struggle, which is just simply a part of life and working hard would be another person's joy; the going through the bureaucracy and the politics that lie in the music and movie world are somehow more difficult than that of the person who is fighting cancer without treatment or proper treatment.

And how the celebrity can never be happy content or full of joy until they succeed in a way that allows them to feel important and as we say "made it," which usually comes through winning an award or worldly recognition in abundance and continuous.  The other person, who is truly fighting for their life does not get to pursue their dreams and goals  because they are fighting for their life and they are suffering horribly.  And one thing that I have learned about life is that the pursuit of happiness, by pursuing your dreams and goals, simply moving forward, and no matter how slow, continually making progress is what people thrive on so that they can have a worthwhile life.  Without this it is like the Dead Sea. You are stagnant. There is no new water coming in and no old water going out, not allowing for life, but sometimes comes down to simply welcoming death.  Now that, my friends, is struggle. We must have a healthy outlet. Even in life, when we take steps backwards, it allows us to run and leap forward.

In this world the right hand does not know what the left hand is doing when they should be washing each other.  I am saying about coming together.  The more we know each other, the more we can empathize: meaning to suffer along with.  The more we empathize, the more we understand.  The more we understand, the more we support.  This allows for a better chance of living in a world of love and peace, not just survival or existence.  I have found myself that I can not empathize with a person who has taken on the task of being successful in their chosen field because there is no way to suffer along with non-suffering.  And when they succeed in this field, their life actually goes backwards.

Yet, these are the people who get the help they need.  They take for granted that they walk by a person who can not even get an aspirin from a doctor for a horrible disease, but if they injure themselves, because there is an investment into their life, from another person, they receive help, thoughts, prayers until they are completely recovered.  Yet, many of the people being passed over, not only are suffering horribly, these people could be the greatest example for others the next Einstein, the next Martin Luther King Jr., the next president of the United States, the greatest actor ever, an incredible musician, an inventor that benefits the lives of billions, but until they get their health and recognition, they are just simply expendable.

I have been most sickened, through this interview process  by the medical community, law officials, our government representatives, and by what I will call the church.  They live in a small minded world, picking and choosing who is the most valuable to them, and they determine this, most often, in this study, by what the person in the most need can give back to them.

You will find that media has destroyed this world.  My documentary is supposed to give those people who do not have a voice the largest voice of all, but not through the volume  of the pitch of their voice, but by volume of the people they reach.  I have found that most people think only of themselves.  We see everyday on reality shows and on multimedia that a person's choice of gender or whether or not they are pregnant is what we in society grab onto as being relevant and important.  When a person wants to tell the world that they are truly pregnant, and that somehow that is important to the world, not understanding that this is all about vanity and that this point has no relevance to anyone but themselves yet somehow this is not embarrassing and is deemed worthy as news or entertainment news when nobody gives a shit, that there is a person a mile down the street who can not get insurance to take care of themselves or their unborn child; and the furthest thing from their mind is caring about what people have to say.

You will see in this documentary very famous celebrities at award shows.  When edited you will see people suffering watching the award shows.  You will be able to see the difference and how we view ourselves and we view others.

So many people are longing to be recognized, to be remembered.  But have you asked yourself... for what?  What would you like to be recognized for? Remembered for? Your lip implants? Your hair? Your horrible traumatic event of having to choose to play a character and remembering it as the hardest choice you had to make in your life.  You'll be amazed by how we look at each other.

What's also amazing is that some people forget the camera is even there, but many are very aware and put on a show.  This documentary will strip down all the lies and all the makeup that is hiding the truth in this world.  You will be able to form a proper, realistic, rational, logical conclusion.

Even in my sickness, when my body and mind is corrupted, I have a gift.  My gift is that I can sift through  bullshit so fast that people can not hide behind it.  I always have known what questions to ask to get the truth.  I am one of those people that you either love or hate, or sometimes both.  In my  lack of health I have found it hard to slow myself down many a times.  Many times, however, this is beneficial for my purpose, but not beneficial to my health.

The friends that I have acquired throughout this life, love the fact that I speak my mind.  My life is so extraordinary,  but let me separate these two words.  Down to extra-ordinary. Negative and positive. Through this I have learned how to manipulate without manipulating.  Manipulation can be a horrible thing.  If you do so because it is the only way you can find the truth, know where you stand, better lives and the world, it is just like any emotion, it becomes righteous.  Having anger without holding it in your heart. Having sadness without letting it consume you.  Learning that in order to be strong we must be weak and that through weakness comes strength.

Everything on this planet has a literal polar opposite.  Up, down. Left, right. Back, front. Good, bad. Right, wrong.  And on and on it goes.  And this has never been more relevant than with people themselves.  This documentary, I hope, brings to fruition, the fact that being opposites is what brings us together.  If we only accept and empathize and of course, appreciate our differences.

I will give you an example of this.  If you take two magnets of the same polarity, they will constantly keep pushing away from each other.  Yet, if you take two magnets of opposite polarity, they will latch together with incredible speed and voracity.  We will also see how some people love to articulate through bullshit.  Some people have no vocabulary at all.  That they live in the world of fear, and the only way they can get out of it is through validation of a person that they view as being greater than themselves.  You will see arrogance that is stemmed from unbelievable insecurity.

You are watching it and hearing it every day of your life.  Big stories such as Caitlyn Jenner.  A 65 year lie.  According to her somehow through  this lie the world will be changed for the better.  But again, she is the only person that has a voice.

Are we even aware of the impact we have on others? The childishness that is multimedia? And again, I ask you, we so desperately want to be heard, but we choose to speak nonsense, hiding behind a computer screen.  We deem ourselves so worthy that we can rattle off a tweet, but not respond to the people we are talking to the ones who support us the most and that is an example of a me, me, I, I selfish asshole.  And pardon my language, as I try not to speak like this, but those people can go fuck themselves, as obviously they have not realized that what they are missing in their life is the fact that they need someone to pull that giant stick out of their ass. But then there would be no strings to pull, as there would be no puppeteer and no marionette.  Hey kids! It's Howdy Doody time. If you don't get that reference you're not old enough to be reading this.

My documentary will change the world.  Corruption will be brought forth.  Many of these institutions will be brought down.  On a personal note: though my movie and album are going through a studio and I own the rights for every aspect of these, my documentary would not be allowed to be done the same way.  So I picked up the tab.

When it comes out, I will have funded it myself.  I am willing to spend tens of millions of dollars.  Hell, I will spend a hundred million to bring righteousness to this corrupt world.  I was going to leave my story out of it, because of my movie, and then I deemed myself a hypocrite.  I justified the fact that if I brought myself into it, then it would be about me.  Well, it is.  In order to understand what is happening with other people and their struggles, I realize that you have to understand why the man who is doing this would do it.

I am just like everyone else and I am nothing like everyone else.  I have preached love, but I, like many others at times have lived my life in hatred. My hypocrisy knows no bounds, but in the statement, I am acknowledging my hypocrisy, which allows me to change it, because there is nothing worse than a hypocrite, except for maybe a politician (same difference.)  But this comes down to a polar opposite. You can not love without understanding the negativity of having hatred in your heart. We need to accept these things about ourselves so that we can better ourselves.

I am tired of sugar coating.  I have tried to walk softly on people's hearts and listen to the filth that comes out of their mouths.  But the fact is that I would be a horrible example if I lit into everyone as they go through their learning process just as I have had to go through mine. From 30 through 33 and a half I suffered torture.  Until recently, I thought that was the worst it could get.  Through those 3 and a half years I hated everyone and everything, except for God.  While suffering immensely, I took on the task of changing myself.  When I went in remission, all I felt was love.  When I became ill again, as I believed at 34, after meeting my wife, this was my time, our time, to finally shine, to serve a purpose greater than ourselves.  I started to decline very quickly.  I held onto my faith. And then something changed.  I still have love in my heart, but I hate God. I had, what I believed to be, an incredible relationship with the Lord, and in all my life's struggles, I believed they were for a greater purpose.  But through what I have experienced, as well as my wife, I simply can not find the purpose in this. I have battled with my faith and THAT is what I hate. It is all consuming. Though I have searched for answers somehow I am not allowed to understand, but that is the only way to find the truth, and this is, what I have found, many people go through.  Yet, these people, in their lack of faith, still have more faith than any other human being.  They are treated by people and especially by Christians as faithless corrupted losers.  I had my own family and have heard and seen other people literally be rebuked, no not their disease, but them, by the representatives of God.  But I would be remiss if I did not state that the bible says nothing happens out of God's will.  But I can not agree with this. I am not God, but I did not know I was supposed to be. And that is where people need to step up, because maybe, that is the purpose of it all.   It has also made me appreciate the people who truly hold love in their heart for others.  And it's very simple, yes, we must give love, but we have to receive it as well. Oh, the hypocrisy that lies within us.

Christians who look to psychics.  Who need proof when the bible is derived up of one major thing.  Faith.  Faith is believing in something without proof through seeing, hearing or touching.  In the bible it is quoted by God and Jesus many times that your word is good enough.  Yet, within the church, this is never the case, and with Christians they spend more time trying to explain themselves than just doing.  Most men have not experienced enough hardship in their life to know the difference between East and West, North and South.  We hide behind the excuse of ignorance.

Oh, how a man says "My thoughts are with you." Yes, a figure of speech, but how arrogant are you to say that your thoughts are important.  People who say, we're praying for you, but don't understand the concept that God has to choose to answer the prayer. Without words and actions, your thoughts are meaningless, they are self serving.  And maybe God doesn't answer a prayer because He understands what we don't, or choose not to: knowing that the person who is simply praying has it within their power to save another life by one simple act.  And yes, what I am saying is people suffer, not only because of others and what they do, but because of what they don't do.. And biblically this is a constant that God allows to happen, or causes.  Doctors who tell you you have a life threatening brain tumor, but your insurance may not cover this, so hit the road.  People who have paid taxes for 70 years and the government says screw your pension, it's either food or medicine.  The celebrity says that I busted my ass to get in shape for this role and it's the hardest thing I've ever done and then I made 75 million dollars this year from it.

Musicians that are filled in this world, that are of this world who are literally children who have no idea what they are talking about.  A 22 year old has no understanding of real love.  Who has been singing for three years and then get their break; they have no understanding of struggle. That's why they all end up in rehab and jail.  When Ed Sheeran makes a documentary  and a person goes crazy over the fact that he acknowledged their existence.

I have put several songs out on Youtube and they're all shit.  They were all while I was sick.  There is a certain sound that I prefer;this would be the sound that I have worked for for years, the sound of my cousin SRV, but very few people have heard. This is very frustrating.  And I'm amazed how people consider what I consider the worst of my sounds as being the best.  How in life we have to do our best to finish something. The last time I tried to finish up my album I collapsed and went into a coma. So for the vocal parts, as I can not sing as of right now, and I will tell you again that I have the most powerful voice of any person that has ever existed.  My wife, who has an angelic voice, I  have decided she would do the vocals that I could not do.  It's called adaptation.

Getting back to the documentary.  I have found that the people who question God's existence and their own faith have the right to do so, because without doubt there is no reason for faith.  I have seen that the people who are the most blessed, but consider themselves lucky, as if there were such a thing as luck (just in horseshoes and hand grenades my friend) choose not to believe because of what is happening to other people.  Meaning how ugly the world is.  But sit on their lazy ass.  Will spend one million dollars on a car, but won't spend $10 to give someone a meal or make a call to their surgeon to give someone else medical care.

Doctors are not all created the same.  One doctor can do in 5 minutes what another doctor can not do at all.   Sure, we could all take on the case, the life of another person to simply open up our hearts and minds to learn, but that would be too difficult.  It comes down to power, title, clout, fame, money, and most importantly voice.  If you are mute and are hurt, you can not scream for help.    That is what it is like for those who are not valued as having a life worth living.

I have seen through this documentary that people will get themselves involved in your business for no other reason than they are so lonely and lost that they only can survive through drama.  I have several celebrities try to get out of the documentary as I had shown then, or rather my staff had, the results of the Q & A.  Fortunately, I have great lawyers and they signed contracts.  I am also doing something different in my documentary to show that there is no out of context.  I am putting in the corner of the film timestamps when I deem them relevant so that people know that what they are hearing or seeing is not being altered or edited.   I believe that our government will have to do something after this documentary.  And what will be amazing to see, if people spend more time defending their actions and comments for their lack of caring and remorse than simply get on up and start taking care of business.  When the everyday man has to explain themselves to everyone in order to get help, releasing personal information.  And the celebrity does so on purpose, then complains as if it wasn't a publicity stunt and finds that they must comment on every aspect of their life and what every person says about them.  Why take the time to defend yourself when you did nothing wrong and there is no guilt to be had? And it always comes down to deflection of blame.  But living in this world, this is the truth. They do so when they feel that they are becoming irrelevant to society.  So the publicist maneuvers to create controversy for the specific  motive of bringing attention and relevance back to a celebrity.This will be shown in my documentary many times over.  You will truly see the difference on how people look at each other and this world.

I also will show you something very interesting.  It is called experimental studies.  How this has become a foundation in the medical community of the hoops that people must be dragged through before they can even get an MRI.  In small communities people must go through a myriad of tests, spending hundreds of thousands of dollars before they can get the best test such as an MRI which would be cheaper and more efficient and they would find out all the information they needed with that one test. We brought in hidden cameras and audio recorders into hospitals for emergency room visits.  As a person has a right to document this in these ways.  Doctors would refuse treatment if they did so.

Many people have experienced this.  We know it's happening, but we've turned a blind eye.  I had come up with this idea long before I became seriously ill, it's just the fact that because of my illness it has become more relevant and prevalent to bring this to people's attention. I thought there could be quite a bit of controversy when this comes out; then I realize there won't be, because it would be detouring from this horror that people are going through.

In ending we have lost the ability to talk plainly.  We have forgotten our elders' quips, cliches, advice.  The fact is is that everybody wants to be a martyr, but nobody wants to create martyrdom for others. Hence, no controversy.  Leaving you with this: With great power comes great responsibility.  Yet, somehow, with great power,  the world does not hold us responsible as we do not hold ourselves so.   Because we only consider people irresponsible when they live in the fantasy world of others; of some how the fact they do not contribute to society when the truth is is that society has not contributed to them.

Until next time. Take Care.

Post Script: I will be sharing more anecdotes and I will continue on about experimental studies.  I have been used as a guinea pig. You will find the advances we have made in technology but will not use.  You will find on what many diseases are caused by, but are not known throughout the medical community.  I always made a joke that it is said that we use only 10% of our brain, which means there is a 90% chance that we are wrong.  It has been found within myself that I use around 27% of my brain and how this affects my physical health and that using more than this is impossible because you can not sustain life.  But I will let the story through the documentary do the telling.  And on one last personal note: I had video taped and audio taped, but I suppose using the word taped is an old reference, my family.  And I did so to show that our own families can be the worst thing that have ever happened to us.  You will be mortified.  This is my reality and this is something you could not make up which is why all of these things had to be documented.    Thank you again for your time.

"This documentary is not to discourage.  Through realization comes revelation. Without understanding tragedy we can not have hope and achieve triumph.  A purpose that is served through recognition of horror is the only true way for a purpose to be great, because the outcome is that miracles do happen. But we must understand that a miracle can come from one man to another.  For one man it may be something small, but for another it is not only large, but greatness comes from resolution that turns into revolution. So simply speaking in plain talk: please do not sell yourself short or others.  We determine our own level of involvement in the helping of others.  It is not a burden, it is our duty and responsibility.  As no one achieves anything great alone, and never will, that is reserved only for bad."

~Joshua Jet Vaughan~

The Story of Joshua~Chapter 2

       At the age of 12, the neighbors took Joshua out tubing with them.  When it was his turn, the father took off going 60mph in their speed boat and proceeded to whip from side to side trying to dislodge Joshua from the tube.  He finally could hold on no longer.  The speed and force  of over 90mph was so great that Joshua bounced off the surface of the water three times before it finally broke and allowed his broken body to sink through.  There wasn't a place on his body that wasn't black and bruised from this event.  He received no medical help, and not even an offer to take him to the doctor from his family, but spent the rest of that summer trying to recover as well.


        Later that fall, he was riding his motorbike through the woods.  The same bully came out of nowhere and to avoid hitting the boy, Joshua swerved, hit a stone and went flying through the air to land on a boulder on his knees.  Cut open and in a great deal of pain, he gathered his bike and forced himself to walk home.  When he got there and he told his parents what had happened, his father told him to go walk it off.  So, trusting in them, he did.  He began walking up and down the street.  Limping at first, but then a warm euphoria came over his body.  By the time he was finished walking, thou still bleeding and bruised, the pain in his leg was completely gone.

Joshua and his cousin Jaren

       One night in the spring of '87 when Joshua was 13 years old, he came home from basketball practice.  The school was only a mile away, and having not been able to get a hold of his family, he walked home.  It was about 10 o'clock at night by the time he got back and completely dark.  There were no lights on at his home, and the doors were locked.  He tried to open all of the windows and was unable to.  It was still early spring, and so the night was very cold.  He sat outside shivering in his basketball shorts and t-shirt.  Remember that this was before the time of cell phones, he had no one to contact and no where to go.  So there he sat for five hours.  His parents drove up with his sister around 3:00 am to a shivering blue faced Joshua.  Nothing was said to him, no apology or explanation, they simply went inside the house and went to bed, leaving Joshua to find something to eat, because he hadn't eaten such lunch at school the day before, and go to bed cold and alone.

Documentary and Novel

Some of the stories that are shared will be chosen to be put into a documentary and/or book.  The stories that are chosen will be authorized and verified by myself, production company, studio, and publishing company. If a person chooses to release their story; they will be personally interviewed for this to be shared in these media forums. Most of the profits will go for charity and any of the people who have shared their story for their individual needs, which will be based upon their personal interviews for those who are in desperate need of financial and any other form of help.