While I have been fighting for my life and waiting for life-saving emergency surgeries, which is something I've mentioned from time to time; I wanted to talk about, to those who have just joined this page and to those who have been a part of it all along, a reminder of why I started it. Though there are several reasons, the main reason was to create a documentary.
While a lot of people don't know who I am as of yet, throughout the world, at least through mainstream media; for years I have lived in the world that we call celebrity. I am known throughout the music world and movie industries. Many of my friends have made a successful living in the entrepreneurial world, but more so in the field of the arts.
I bring up my heath because the way I have suffered is inhumane. It has given me an understanding of how we view all aspects of this world. When doing a poll or a study, it is critical that there are a thousand people that are interviewed. When we do this, we then use mathematics to create statistics based upon the results from a thousand people encompassing the total of the people of the United States.
When doing tests for medicine we do what is called a double blind placebo test. These are guidelines that are followed, and sometimes laws, so that the question/answer process, or testing procedure can be valued as truth and speak for a nation. It gives it relevance. Through time, we have found, that by doing things this way, that through these thousand people, we can nail down an outcome, again, for an entire nation.
It seems quite silly, but is usually quite accurate.
In my vision of this documentary, I decided to follow the same guidelines. Since I have been ill, the process has been more difficult as I have not had a direct hands on approach the way I desire, but will not allow anyone else to do this for me. As I am the only one that can understand my own vision, as it can not be explained because no one has gone through what I am going through. I will not speak on how many people have been interviewed. I believe the process would be done by now, if I were healthy; but as soon as we get to that one thousand number, then the real work begins.
I imagine if I had gotten healthier, and my movie, which is coordinated with the documentary, and my album had been released, as the clout that comes from fame, would have inevitably been taken over: people would have jumped at the chance to tell their story. So here are some interesting points. Most of the people that are interviewed are everyday, what we call, civilians. This is a term that is used consistently in Hollywood.
Hollywood is not a city. It is an institution that controls the world. I don't believe there is a person on this planet that would disagree with me on this point. However, dozens of the people interviewed live in the world of celebrity. These are people that I have known for many years, and a couple dozen of them are what I would call friends. On a sidenote: when I became ill, let me rephrase, seriously ill, for the second time in my life my very famous friends had turned their back on me. As I had given my word that this documentary would be done: to better the lives of the people involved and of this world. Remarkably, though not surprisingly, I had found with calling in favors for my friends, that the moment I mentioned a camera crew, they were up for the task.
Many musicians, what we call movie stars, as of now very popular A list actors, and even people who actually have their own shows, hence reality shows, have gotten involved. Though in most interviews I have not been able to be there personally, I would take part via webcam. I found that it had given people comfort to see my face and hear my voice as the conviction of what I am doing is lost when I am not involved and also for the fact that throughout my years on this earth, I am deemed as a very trustworthy, honest person which allows for many of these people to feel safe when I give my word. What is phenomenal is to see the difference in people.
Most people who are going through something unimaginable to the rest of the world, that is unimaginable to themselves, especially dealing with health issues, do not want to speak and have not wanted to take part. It is the people who have gotten better, went through tragedy into triumph who now want to tell their story. I suppose people have a difficult time talking about their problems while undergoing them as their problems are a daily reminder; and as they try to cope it is a hardship within itself to simply speak of it. It is a constant reminder of something that you are always reminded of. I understand this.
I am confused by the fact that when pain becomes so great that people want someone to whisk in and save them, but won't do so when help is offered. But I also understand that the lack of trust and hopelessness from what man has done to them, creates a jaded strength. And I am amazed that when people state they are in pain, they are held in contempt as this is somehow a fault which allows man to pass judgment. When talking to the medical community; the sick who have had to build the strength to survive; the medical community look at these people as weak. As they try to deal and cope with incredible strength and grace, and in this generation of modern medicine, the medical community does not believe that someone could come in with these virtues and be that sick, even when the test results show to the contrary.
I have been deemed myself, by the medical community, as combative. I speak my mind. We all know ourselves better than anyone else could. And somehow people become offended by this fact. And let me remind you that I was once a doctor. When this documentary comes out, you will be horrified of what is going on inside hospitals and doctor's offices. Along with religion. The churches that have been interviewed. The judgment placed. I will give you a fact: churches are tax exempt. The government does this for them for the reason, as in good faith, they believe in the institution of religion, to use this money that is not paid into taxes, to help those who are in need. And they must do so accordingly to federal guidelines. The dishonesty of doctors, of the church, the corruption and abuse, you will see is unprecedented. We have interviewed law officials, federal and state employees including soldiers and even many homeless individuals and so many other people who we classify, and you will see the heresy, the chaos that is being created by the people that we pay to ensure fairness and humanity.
It is also very interesting how we view each other, and our own struggles. I wanted to bring in people that have had great success in this world, and show the difference on how they look at themselves and others. It is amazing to find that one person's struggle, which is just simply a part of life and working hard would be another person's joy; the going through the bureaucracy and the politics that lie in the music and movie world are somehow more difficult than that of the person who is fighting cancer without treatment or proper treatment.
And how the celebrity can never be happy content or full of joy until they succeed in a way that allows them to feel important and as we say "made it," which usually comes through winning an award or worldly recognition in abundance and continuous. The other person, who is truly fighting for their life does not get to pursue their dreams and goals because they are fighting for their life and they are suffering horribly. And one thing that I have learned about life is that the pursuit of happiness, by pursuing your dreams and goals, simply moving forward, and no matter how slow, continually making progress is what people thrive on so that they can have a worthwhile life. Without this it is like the Dead Sea. You are stagnant. There is no new water coming in and no old water going out, not allowing for life, but sometimes comes down to simply welcoming death. Now that, my friends, is struggle. We must have a healthy outlet. Even in life, when we take steps backwards, it allows us to run and leap forward.
In this world the right hand does not know what the left hand is doing when they should be washing each other. I am saying about coming together. The more we know each other, the more we can empathize: meaning to suffer along with. The more we empathize, the more we understand. The more we understand, the more we support. This allows for a better chance of living in a world of love and peace, not just survival or existence. I have found myself that I can not empathize with a person who has taken on the task of being successful in their chosen field because there is no way to suffer along with non-suffering. And when they succeed in this field, their life actually goes backwards.
Yet, these are the people who get the help they need. They take for granted that they walk by a person who can not even get an aspirin from a doctor for a horrible disease, but if they injure themselves, because there is an investment into their life, from another person, they receive help, thoughts, prayers until they are completely recovered. Yet, many of the people being passed over, not only are suffering horribly, these people could be the greatest example for others the next Einstein, the next Martin Luther King Jr., the next president of the United States, the greatest actor ever, an incredible musician, an inventor that benefits the lives of billions, but until they get their health and recognition, they are just simply expendable.
I have been most sickened, through this interview process by the medical community, law officials, our government representatives, and by what I will call the church. They live in a small minded world, picking and choosing who is the most valuable to them, and they determine this, most often, in this study, by what the person in the most need can give back to them.
You will find that media has destroyed this world. My documentary is supposed to give those people who do not have a voice the largest voice of all, but not through the volume of the pitch of their voice, but by volume of the people they reach. I have found that most people think only of themselves. We see everyday on reality shows and on multimedia that a person's choice of gender or whether or not they are pregnant is what we in society grab onto as being relevant and important. When a person wants to tell the world that they are truly pregnant, and that somehow that is important to the world, not understanding that this is all about vanity and that this point has no relevance to anyone but themselves yet somehow this is not embarrassing and is deemed worthy as news or entertainment news when nobody gives a shit, that there is a person a mile down the street who can not get insurance to take care of themselves or their unborn child; and the furthest thing from their mind is caring about what people have to say.
You will see in this documentary very famous celebrities at award shows. When edited you will see people suffering watching the award shows. You will be able to see the difference and how we view ourselves and we view others.
So many people are longing to be recognized, to be remembered. But have you asked yourself... for what? What would you like to be recognized for? Remembered for? Your lip implants? Your hair? Your horrible traumatic event of having to choose to play a character and remembering it as the hardest choice you had to make in your life. You'll be amazed by how we look at each other.
What's also amazing is that some people forget the camera is even there, but many are very aware and put on a show. This documentary will strip down all the lies and all the makeup that is hiding the truth in this world. You will be able to form a proper, realistic, rational, logical conclusion.
Even in my sickness, when my body and mind is corrupted, I have a gift. My gift is that I can sift through bullshit so fast that people can not hide behind it. I always have known what questions to ask to get the truth. I am one of those people that you either love or hate, or sometimes both. In my lack of health I have found it hard to slow myself down many a times. Many times, however, this is beneficial for my purpose, but not beneficial to my health.
The friends that I have acquired throughout this life, love the fact that I speak my mind. My life is so extraordinary, but let me separate these two words. Down to extra-ordinary. Negative and positive. Through this I have learned how to manipulate without manipulating. Manipulation can be a horrible thing. If you do so because it is the only way you can find the truth, know where you stand, better lives and the world, it is just like any emotion, it becomes righteous. Having anger without holding it in your heart. Having sadness without letting it consume you. Learning that in order to be strong we must be weak and that through weakness comes strength.
Everything on this planet has a literal polar opposite. Up, down. Left, right. Back, front. Good, bad. Right, wrong. And on and on it goes. And this has never been more relevant than with people themselves. This documentary, I hope, brings to fruition, the fact that being opposites is what brings us together. If we only accept and empathize and of course, appreciate our differences.
I will give you an example of this. If you take two magnets of the same polarity, they will constantly keep pushing away from each other. Yet, if you take two magnets of opposite polarity, they will latch together with incredible speed and voracity. We will also see how some people love to articulate through bullshit. Some people have no vocabulary at all. That they live in the world of fear, and the only way they can get out of it is through validation of a person that they view as being greater than themselves. You will see arrogance that is stemmed from unbelievable insecurity.
You are watching it and hearing it every day of your life. Big stories such as Caitlyn Jenner. A 65 year lie. According to her somehow through this lie the world will be changed for the better. But again, she is the only person that has a voice.
Are we even aware of the impact we have on others? The childishness that is multimedia? And again, I ask you, we so desperately want to be heard, but we choose to speak nonsense, hiding behind a computer screen. We deem ourselves so worthy that we can rattle off a tweet, but not respond to the people we are talking to the ones who support us the most and that is an example of a me, me, I, I selfish asshole. And pardon my language, as I try not to speak like this, but those people can go fuck themselves, as obviously they have not realized that what they are missing in their life is the fact that they need someone to pull that giant stick out of their ass. But then there would be no strings to pull, as there would be no puppeteer and no marionette. Hey kids! It's Howdy Doody time. If you don't get that reference you're not old enough to be reading this.
My documentary will change the world. Corruption will be brought forth. Many of these institutions will be brought down. On a personal note: though my movie and album are going through a studio and I own the rights for every aspect of these, my documentary would not be allowed to be done the same way. So I picked up the tab.
When it comes out, I will have funded it myself. I am willing to spend tens of millions of dollars. Hell, I will spend a hundred million to bring righteousness to this corrupt world. I was going to leave my story out of it, because of my movie, and then I deemed myself a hypocrite. I justified the fact that if I brought myself into it, then it would be about me. Well, it is. In order to understand what is happening with other people and their struggles, I realize that you have to understand why the man who is doing this would do it.
I am just like everyone else and I am nothing like everyone else. I have preached love, but I, like many others at times have lived my life in hatred. My hypocrisy knows no bounds, but in the statement, I am acknowledging my hypocrisy, which allows me to change it, because there is nothing worse than a hypocrite, except for maybe a politician (same difference.) But this comes down to a polar opposite. You can not love without understanding the negativity of having hatred in your heart. We need to accept these things about ourselves so that we can better ourselves.
I am tired of sugar coating. I have tried to walk softly on people's hearts and listen to the filth that comes out of their mouths. But the fact is that I would be a horrible example if I lit into everyone as they go through their learning process just as I have had to go through mine. From 30 through 33 and a half I suffered torture. Until recently, I thought that was the worst it could get. Through those 3 and a half years I hated everyone and everything, except for God. While suffering immensely, I took on the task of changing myself. When I went in remission, all I felt was love. When I became ill again, as I believed at 34, after meeting my wife, this was my time, our time, to finally shine, to serve a purpose greater than ourselves. I started to decline very quickly. I held onto my faith. And then something changed. I still have love in my heart, but I hate God. I had, what I believed to be, an incredible relationship with the Lord, and in all my life's struggles, I believed they were for a greater purpose. But through what I have experienced, as well as my wife, I simply can not find the purpose in this. I have battled with my faith and THAT is what I hate. It is all consuming. Though I have searched for answers somehow I am not allowed to understand, but that is the only way to find the truth, and this is, what I have found, many people go through. Yet, these people, in their lack of faith, still have more faith than any other human being. They are treated by people and especially by Christians as faithless corrupted losers. I had my own family and have heard and seen other people literally be rebuked, no not their disease, but them, by the representatives of God. But I would be remiss if I did not state that the bible says nothing happens out of God's will. But I can not agree with this. I am not God, but I did not know I was supposed to be. And that is where people need to step up, because maybe, that is the purpose of it all. It has also made me appreciate the people who truly hold love in their heart for others. And it's very simple, yes, we must give love, but we have to receive it as well. Oh, the hypocrisy that lies within us.
Christians who look to psychics. Who need proof when the bible is derived up of one major thing. Faith. Faith is believing in something without proof through seeing, hearing or touching. In the bible it is quoted by God and Jesus many times that your word is good enough. Yet, within the church, this is never the case, and with Christians they spend more time trying to explain themselves than just doing. Most men have not experienced enough hardship in their life to know the difference between East and West, North and South. We hide behind the excuse of ignorance.
Oh, how a man says "My thoughts are with you." Yes, a figure of speech, but how arrogant are you to say that your thoughts are important. People who say, we're praying for you, but don't understand the concept that God has to choose to answer the prayer. Without words and actions, your thoughts are meaningless, they are self serving. And maybe God doesn't answer a prayer because He understands what we don't, or choose not to: knowing that the person who is simply praying has it within their power to save another life by one simple act. And yes, what I am saying is people suffer, not only because of others and what they do, but because of what they don't do.. And biblically this is a constant that God allows to happen, or causes. Doctors who tell you you have a life threatening brain tumor, but your insurance may not cover this, so hit the road. People who have paid taxes for 70 years and the government says screw your pension, it's either food or medicine. The celebrity says that I busted my ass to get in shape for this role and it's the hardest thing I've ever done and then I made 75 million dollars this year from it.
Musicians that are filled in this world, that are of this world who are literally children who have no idea what they are talking about. A 22 year old has no understanding of real love. Who has been singing for three years and then get their break; they have no understanding of struggle. That's why they all end up in rehab and jail. When Ed Sheeran makes a documentary and a person goes crazy over the fact that he acknowledged their existence.
I have put several songs out on Youtube and they're all shit. They were all while I was sick. There is a certain sound that I prefer;this would be the sound that I have worked for for years, the sound of my cousin SRV, but very few people have heard. This is very frustrating. And I'm amazed how people consider what I consider the worst of my sounds as being the best. How in life we have to do our best to finish something. The last time I tried to finish up my album I collapsed and went into a coma. So for the vocal parts, as I can not sing as of right now, and I will tell you again that I have the most powerful voice of any person that has ever existed. My wife, who has an angelic voice, I have decided she would do the vocals that I could not do. It's called adaptation.
Getting back to the documentary. I have found that the people who question God's existence and their own faith have the right to do so, because without doubt there is no reason for faith. I have seen that the people who are the most blessed, but consider themselves lucky, as if there were such a thing as luck (just in horseshoes and hand grenades my friend) choose not to believe because of what is happening to other people. Meaning how ugly the world is. But sit on their lazy ass. Will spend one million dollars on a car, but won't spend $10 to give someone a meal or make a call to their surgeon to give someone else medical care.
Doctors are not all created the same. One doctor can do in 5 minutes what another doctor can not do at all. Sure, we could all take on the case, the life of another person to simply open up our hearts and minds to learn, but that would be too difficult. It comes down to power, title, clout, fame, money, and most importantly voice. If you are mute and are hurt, you can not scream for help. That is what it is like for those who are not valued as having a life worth living.
I have seen through this documentary that people will get themselves involved in your business for no other reason than they are so lonely and lost that they only can survive through drama. I have several celebrities try to get out of the documentary as I had shown then, or rather my staff had, the results of the Q & A. Fortunately, I have great lawyers and they signed contracts. I am also doing something different in my documentary to show that there is no out of context. I am putting in the corner of the film timestamps when I deem them relevant so that people know that what they are hearing or seeing is not being altered or edited. I believe that our government will have to do something after this documentary. And what will be amazing to see, if people spend more time defending their actions and comments for their lack of caring and remorse than simply get on up and start taking care of business. When the everyday man has to explain themselves to everyone in order to get help, releasing personal information. And the celebrity does so on purpose, then complains as if it wasn't a publicity stunt and finds that they must comment on every aspect of their life and what every person says about them. Why take the time to defend yourself when you did nothing wrong and there is no guilt to be had? And it always comes down to deflection of blame. But living in this world, this is the truth. They do so when they feel that they are becoming irrelevant to society. So the publicist maneuvers to create controversy for the specific motive of bringing attention and relevance back to a celebrity.This will be shown in my documentary many times over. You will truly see the difference on how people look at each other and this world.
I also will show you something very interesting. It is called experimental studies. How this has become a foundation in the medical community of the hoops that people must be dragged through before they can even get an MRI. In small communities people must go through a myriad of tests, spending hundreds of thousands of dollars before they can get the best test such as an MRI which would be cheaper and more efficient and they would find out all the information they needed with that one test. We brought in hidden cameras and audio recorders into hospitals for emergency room visits. As a person has a right to document this in these ways. Doctors would refuse treatment if they did so.
Many people have experienced this. We know it's happening, but we've turned a blind eye. I had come up with this idea long before I became seriously ill, it's just the fact that because of my illness it has become more relevant and prevalent to bring this to people's attention. I thought there could be quite a bit of controversy when this comes out; then I realize there won't be, because it would be detouring from this horror that people are going through.
In ending we have lost the ability to talk plainly. We have forgotten our elders' quips, cliches, advice. The fact is is that everybody wants to be a martyr, but nobody wants to create martyrdom for others. Hence, no controversy. Leaving you with this: With great power comes great responsibility. Yet, somehow, with great power, the world does not hold us responsible as we do not hold ourselves so. Because we only consider people irresponsible when they live in the fantasy world of others; of some how the fact they do not contribute to society when the truth is is that society has not contributed to them.
Until next time. Take Care.
Post Script: I will be sharing more anecdotes and I will continue on about experimental studies. I have been used as a guinea pig. You will find the advances we have made in technology but will not use. You will find on what many diseases are caused by, but are not known throughout the medical community. I always made a joke that it is said that we use only 10% of our brain, which means there is a 90% chance that we are wrong. It has been found within myself that I use around 27% of my brain and how this affects my physical health and that using more than this is impossible because you can not sustain life. But I will let the story through the documentary do the telling. And on one last personal note: I had video taped and audio taped, but I suppose using the word taped is an old reference, my family. And I did so to show that our own families can be the worst thing that have ever happened to us. You will be mortified. This is my reality and this is something you could not make up which is why all of these things had to be documented. Thank you again for your time.
"This documentary is not to discourage. Through realization comes revelation. Without understanding tragedy we can not have hope and achieve triumph. A purpose that is served through recognition of horror is the only true way for a purpose to be great, because the outcome is that miracles do happen. But we must understand that a miracle can come from one man to another. For one man it may be something small, but for another it is not only large, but greatness comes from resolution that turns into revolution. So simply speaking in plain talk: please do not sell yourself short or others. We determine our own level of involvement in the helping of others. It is not a burden, it is our duty and responsibility. As no one achieves anything great alone, and never will, that is reserved only for bad."
~Joshua Jet Vaughan~
The Sounds of Heaven
Showing posts with label Technical. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Technical. Show all posts
Saturday, August 15, 2015
Friday, July 3, 2015
Coming Soon
Very soon there will be more posts coming from our founder Joshua Jet Vaughan. If you have enjoyed his posts, you will not want to miss these new ones. You will find yourself intrigued, in awe, and in disbelief.
Happy 4th of July to all, and at the request of our founder, here is a song for you to enjoy. Take it as you will.
From the GSET Team.
Happy 4th of July to all, and at the request of our founder, here is a song for you to enjoy. Take it as you will.
From the GSET Team.
Thursday, March 12, 2015
Feel Free To Comment
If you have any ideas, if you would like to share, please feel free. If you would like to see posts of different nature on our page, please let us know as we embrace all aspects of life. From your hardships and tragedies, to your loves and joys. humor. Music. Movies. Plain and simple talk. We would love to hear what you have to say. Remember, everyone who sees this page is a part of it and will continue to be. As our mission is to connect everyone. Everyone is special and important and of value. We can only do this together. So we will.
~GSET Team~
~GSET Team~
Friday, March 6, 2015
GSET Mission Statement
We are currently in the works to unite all people, all voices. Setting up multiple pages via Twitter, Facebook, and a website. One of our many goals is to connect all bloggers. Giving people a united platform, forum, and the voice that is so rightly deserved. All talents, all gifts, all sorrows, all joy, all people we must share. Taking the importance out of the word media and putting it back into the word social. So many have something to say or are in much need and need help so. An example is linking multiple sites to our page/pages. An example is to use Twitter for others to advertise their blogs through tweets. We welcome all. We go by the motto a follow for a follow. Eventually connecting tens of millions of people. In our minds and Joshua's vision, to connect everyone into the source of our power: Love through each other. We do not want people to censor themselves as we all have passions and all have a purpose. Though anything of a sensitive nature, derogatory, racist, hate, pornographic, etc, we will not allow to be linked. And will not share. We are here for people to tell their story. To allow the power to lie within themselves. To unite each other as we all want and need to be heard. There are great things we can learn and use media/ social media for. But as individuals, we must remember that we are responsible for ourselves and each other. As through mass media, so many things become tainted and watered down. There are great mass media sources that help people create awareness and education. But an individual's voice that becomes united through caring, and always love, is reachable, again, it is deserved and we will attain this by joining together hand in hand, not allowing for degradation, segregation, or oppression. In simple terms, we will migrate, immigrate, but never regulate. so that we are not individuals of love or a nation of love, but a world of love. As this will be happening soon, it is all of our responsibility to join in. The more you give others a chance to have a voice, the more your voice will be heard. And it is a constant, infinite, circle that can not be stopped. So please share with us, share for us, as it is our mission to do this for every person. Let's share our spirit as we all have the same one. Thank you.
~GSET Team~
~GSET Team~
Apologies from the GSET Team
As of late we have been having continuous amount of trouble with our servers, which has been delaying our posts. And of course, sharing, caring and helping everyone. We will be adding more stories shortly. Thank you for following the page, sorry for the inconvenience. Please feel free to connect with us.
~GSET Team
~GSET Team
Friday, February 27, 2015
From a heartbroken but hopeful GSET team
Three nights ago, our founder and inspiration, Joshua Jet Vaughan, collapsed while recording his album and fell into a coma. He is not breathing on his own, and we do not have word yet from his wife Anna, as to when or if he will wake up. We've been shattered here at the GSET, praying and crying, and though we knew with his health that this was a possibility, this is just not something that you can ever truly prepare yourself for. Joshua is like a father, mentor, teacher, friend, brother to all of us here. We've been overwhelmed with grief and anger at the injustice that such a great man, the best man, would ever go through this.
We have decided to continue posting. It is what Joshua would want. We have to carry on his mission to share people's stories, to help them to get help themselves, and to give a voice to the people who don't have one. Joshua has lived his life being all heart. We wish would could all fly out to be by his side, but the best thing we can do, and what he would want us to do, is to carry on with reaching out to people from all walks of life and show them the love that he has shown to us. We hope, pray and believe that he will wake up, and when he does, we want him to be proud and feel safe knowing that we have faithfully carried on living out his dream of lifting up the world in love.
Before Joshua collapsed, he had just come up with the idea to connect other blogs to ours. A sister blog affiliation of sorts. Another way to reach out and help others to connect to one another, get our stories heard. We will be posting a page, shortly, that will include the blogs of anyone who might add our blog to theirs and we will do likewise. This way that anyone who visits The Greatest Stories Ever Told will have not only our blog to read, but access to several others sharing the same message. Giving people a voice and connecting people through love, Joshua's vision and life mission, and using the tools of social media and the internet for good, not to separate people more or segregate them, but to bring them closer together in love.
Joshua, we hope and pray we have done you justice. You are so important to so many people and we all love you very much. Please wake up. We will do our best to carry on your vision without you, but don't make us do it now. We want to work with you, not in memory of you. You are our inspiration, motivation and nobody and nothing could ever replace your presence in our lives. Be strong and of good courage, we know you are the strongest an alive, please use that strength to come back to your loved ones and the people who love and need you in their lives..
~GSET Team~
Saturday, February 21, 2015
Complication/Notification from the GSET Team.
As of late, we have been having some computer problems. Or as many times said, technical difficulties. We try to do as much as we can; as we have 12 people working on the GSET team, many times that is to our advantage, but other times it can be a disadvantage. As of late, without Joshua leading us, it has become more difficult. As his understanding, through his experiences, his wisdom, and the Spirit of God that he embraces, gives him an incredible understanding of how to do things efficiently, quickly and most importantly; doing justice to all who are involved. As he has often said, the left hand must always know what the right hand is doing because without this they can not wash each other. Because of many issues including his health, he has completely handed this page over to us.
Some of the stories that Joshua's wife had sent in, unfortunately had gotten mismatched with other people's submissions. And again, the stories are coming in in bits and pieces and have to be edited and rearranged. As we have stated earlier about the process of using other people's stories; is one of our main goals to reach out help the people in need. There's been so much legality and red tape, the process is very difficult. Also as stated earlier, to fill the gap, was to tell some of Joshua's story, the creator for the idea of this blog, the name, and it's purpose.
Because of these inconveniences, some of the stories of Joshua's wife, Anna Bella, have been taken down and will have to be reposted in their entirety. As we must do justice to the people who have submitted their stories, we must of course do justice to the man who has been given this vision and especially to the stories of his life. The stories that are submitted by his wife, Anna, are from her truthful point of view and experience/experiences with her husband, also adding into details of her life and how this beautiful couple has come to be. So their story and their journey together is just as important; which we believe will open the door because the more we understand about Joshua's heart and the relationship with his wife, the more we know about them, about their heart, the more comfortable people will feel and will want to submit their stories freely and untainted trying to give an example of how to share. When telling Joshua and Anna's story, it is not for pity, it is a story of awareness. An example for others, as many of the stories to come, of other people will be an example as well. Ultimately achieving our goal and God's purpose as it has been put upon Joshua's and Anna's heart. One of the most recent posts from his wife, Anna Bella, was just taken down because of misinterpretations, leaving out many important points to the story that are to be shared to bring hope and love to others.
The most recent story will be reposted once being organized and as we will be doing something different, we will be getting confirmation from Anna Bella Vaughan to make sure that the stories are correct. As this is what we have been doing with the other stories submitted, for every detail matters. For everyone to understand, see and feel and relate to each other. Though, many of the stories are about pain and horrors in Joshua and other people's lives, there are joys as well. Understanding what everyone has gone and is going through, every detail can not be overlooked. Everyone wants and needs love. We want to give it just as much as we want to receive it. Yet, we all love differently. So this process is to help everyone understand; for the more we understand, there is less ignorance.
To Joshua, educating ourselves about other people's lives brings not only understanding, but acceptance. Filling all our hearts with joy. There are so many sides to a person's story, we ask that anyone that is submitting, please be as detailed as possible. Let's fill the gap of need with love. As Joshua stated earlier, for others, and of course with his story, the detail is very important, not to be filtered, suppressed, censored. The hardships and the joys that we go through in life all have a purpose and a meaning. None of them are in vain. None of us are infallible, flawless or perfect. Striving to be open and honest. It's not a quest or an accomplishment. It is an expectation that was given to us before we were even born. An expectation that we must first expect from ourselves so that others can accept us as ourselves. As Joshua often states, an open mind comes from an open heart. And the truth that comes from this is righteousness.
Some of the stories that Joshua's wife had sent in, unfortunately had gotten mismatched with other people's submissions. And again, the stories are coming in in bits and pieces and have to be edited and rearranged. As we have stated earlier about the process of using other people's stories; is one of our main goals to reach out help the people in need. There's been so much legality and red tape, the process is very difficult. Also as stated earlier, to fill the gap, was to tell some of Joshua's story, the creator for the idea of this blog, the name, and it's purpose.
Because of these inconveniences, some of the stories of Joshua's wife, Anna Bella, have been taken down and will have to be reposted in their entirety. As we must do justice to the people who have submitted their stories, we must of course do justice to the man who has been given this vision and especially to the stories of his life. The stories that are submitted by his wife, Anna, are from her truthful point of view and experience/experiences with her husband, also adding into details of her life and how this beautiful couple has come to be. So their story and their journey together is just as important; which we believe will open the door because the more we understand about Joshua's heart and the relationship with his wife, the more we know about them, about their heart, the more comfortable people will feel and will want to submit their stories freely and untainted trying to give an example of how to share. When telling Joshua and Anna's story, it is not for pity, it is a story of awareness. An example for others, as many of the stories to come, of other people will be an example as well. Ultimately achieving our goal and God's purpose as it has been put upon Joshua's and Anna's heart. One of the most recent posts from his wife, Anna Bella, was just taken down because of misinterpretations, leaving out many important points to the story that are to be shared to bring hope and love to others.
The most recent story will be reposted once being organized and as we will be doing something different, we will be getting confirmation from Anna Bella Vaughan to make sure that the stories are correct. As this is what we have been doing with the other stories submitted, for every detail matters. For everyone to understand, see and feel and relate to each other. Though, many of the stories are about pain and horrors in Joshua and other people's lives, there are joys as well. Understanding what everyone has gone and is going through, every detail can not be overlooked. Everyone wants and needs love. We want to give it just as much as we want to receive it. Yet, we all love differently. So this process is to help everyone understand; for the more we understand, there is less ignorance.
To Joshua, educating ourselves about other people's lives brings not only understanding, but acceptance. Filling all our hearts with joy. There are so many sides to a person's story, we ask that anyone that is submitting, please be as detailed as possible. Let's fill the gap of need with love. As Joshua stated earlier, for others, and of course with his story, the detail is very important, not to be filtered, suppressed, censored. The hardships and the joys that we go through in life all have a purpose and a meaning. None of them are in vain. None of us are infallible, flawless or perfect. Striving to be open and honest. It's not a quest or an accomplishment. It is an expectation that was given to us before we were even born. An expectation that we must first expect from ourselves so that others can accept us as ourselves. As Joshua often states, an open mind comes from an open heart. And the truth that comes from this is righteousness.
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
The Story of Joshua~ A Letter From his Wife part 1
From The GSET Team: We have had to repost this story, due to computer problems that occurred when Anna Bella had sent us this letter, via email, we only received bits and pieces of the story. We have edited it to it's original form, and reposted it so that it is complete. We apologize for any confusion.
To all of our friends and family,
I wanted to write and show everyone my point of view of the horrors that my husband has lived through. His humility doesn't always allow him to see just how amazing and miraculous his survival is each and everyday, however, I see that no man, woman or child could go through what he suffers, just on a day to day basis, and not only live; but survive with their sanity, their fight for life, and their fight for others in love.
Joshua and I met during the short period of time when he was in remission. We met a a local bar, though neither of us drink; we were there for the karaoke. I was 20 years old and Joshua was 34. I was just a baby then, but he had always captured my attention, I was just too unsure of myself and insecure to go and say something. One karaoke night, however, I looked at him. Really looked at him. His tall posture. Shoulders back. Holding himself at attention like a soldier, but somehow managing to look completely relaxed at the same time. Drinking an Orange Fanta out of a can. But what really made me look twice were his eyes. The most piercing blue eyes I have ever seen. And not just because they are beautiful, but because I saw a deep sadness and heaviness inside of them. This beautiful quiet man, who would always sit in the corner, was never sitting or talking with someone except the man who ran Karaoke , had a depth to his soul, a pain that I knew no one else could see, and my heart ached. I wanted to immediately go up to him and hold him until all of that pain disappeared.
I had walked up to him and said, "Joshua, why aren't you smiling? You should be smiling! Smile Josh!" And he looked up at me and it was over. I was a late bloomer of sorts. I had never had a real boyfriend before, but I wanted to reach out to this man and hold him, comfort him; and then, he smiled. The most dazzling smile that hit me like a ray of pure delight. I became giddy in the region of over the top giggling and fantasy world.
The first time we had spoken, I was there that night with a few of my friends, a blonde, another Korean. The next time he went up to sing, he said over the microphone, "Hey Bella," (I went by Bella at Karaoke) "Is that your sister?" I said, "No, It's just another Asian!" He thought he had offended me. So he stuttered over the microphone and said, "um, did you know that Bella means beautiful in Spanish?" We started talking, and were having a great time. So we decided to meet there the next night for karaoke too.
When I got there the next night Joshua hadn't arrived yet, however, I had come with a large group of people, about twenty total. I had dressed up to look hot. My outfit was a cross between a dirty librarian and a cowgirl. When he got there, I ran up to him and jumped into his arms! I was so excited that he was finally there. He was gorgeous wearing a white dago tee, with a white, blue plaid shirt unbuttoned halfway down, jeans, work boots, and a few rings and a cross necklace. He gave me a big hug back and picked me up off the ground. It was as though we had known each other forever. We signed up for our songs and started talking about everything possible. When he had asked me for my number, I quickly went over the table where my friends were and said, "quick someone give me a friggin napkin and pen" and then rushed back over to him where he was holding his cell phone. What is wrong with me? I thought. It's not as if I didn't grow up in the era where cell phones were common. Just type it into the contacts list. I was so embarrassed, but he was gracious and just gave me one of those billion dollar smiles again that made me feel warm inside, not like the warm butterflies of a crush, but a feeling I had never experienced before. .It was as though if he smiled, no matter what happened and what may be, everything would always be alright.
We both went up on stage and sang our songs. I had heard him before, I remembered that I had noticed him before, but this was different. It was as though my eyes and ears had been shut off, and I was truly seeing this man for the first time. He went from singing Steam Roller Blues, Just A Gigolo, Just the Way You Are, No Sugar Tonight by the Guess Who, to Centerfield by John Fogerty, then a complete 180 and sang Hallelujah by Rufus Wainwright with such power that the patrons of the bar were in tears, and then spun right back around singing Mack the Knife with a rasp that Bobby Darin would have killed to have. I was enraptured by his voice, his passion, his power, putting so much of his soul, heart, and body into the song that he would twitch as though having a seizure. I had never seen anything like it before. So many artists move on stage, and now these so called musicians all dance, but this was different. It was as though when he opened his mouth to let his voice ring, you were seeing a piece of his very spirit.
In between songs we would go outside onto the bar's patio. You could see in and out of the bar through huge windows looking out to the deck. We stood for a while talking, laughing, joking and laughing when my friend K came outside to join us; all 4'11" of her. She had blonde hair and blue eyes and she, was, wasted. She came up to me, gave me a huge hug, looked up at me and said, "Aren't you people supposed to be short?" I laughed so hard. Joshua laughed too, and it made him realize that he hadn't offended me at all the night before and he told me about what he had thought, we laughed so hard about it. We started really talking. Or rather, I did. I started rambling, on and on and on. I was never a big talker, and it was like 20 years of talking decided to pour out of me all at once. He was so gracious, smiling and nodding and encouraging me to talk. When I finally stopped to breathe he said, "It's like you are picturing the stories you are telling me in your head, but you are leaving out important details and I have no idea what you're talking about," he said laughing. Joshua said, "You know, I'd really like to kiss you right now, but I think your friends are watching us." We both looked towards the window, and all 20 of my friends were there, with their faces literally pressed up against the glass watching us. I told Joshua, "They've never seen me with a guy before, or even heard me talk about one." We stared back for a moment, but they had no humility at all and just stayed there, so we went back inside.
When karaoke finally had to close down, as all of the karaoke regulars would stay past last call singing, Joshua gave me a huge hug. The peace I felt. I had been scared all of my life, and I wouldn't have admitted it before, but I finally felt safe. I also could feel all of his rock hard muscle layered underneath his shirt. I couldn't even reach my arms around him, his chest and back were so big with a little itty bitty waist. I'd never seen a man before, I'd spent my life surrounded by boys. Suddenly, the words of a variety of girls and women in my past went through my head and I finally understood. How my girlfriends could talk about a guy's abs or butt for hours, or a camp counselor who had once said that running her hands down a man's back muscles was her favorite. It never truly clicked with me. But suddenly it was clear. I went outside and later Joshua would tell me that I had some very curious friends. One girlfriend in particular had been hitting on him all night and as soon as I was away from him, had come up behind him and started rubbing his shoulders. He immediately turned around and extended his hand for a handshake, they shook hands and Joshua said, "It was nice to meet you," and turned around to come after me, but there were so many people it was like a conga line to get out the door. As Joshua caught up with me outside the bar, hoping that I hadn't left yet he saw me and told me later it was a sigh of relief as I was talking with some friends and we immediately walked up to each other. (He later told me about this incident, not because he wanted to make me jealous, or for any reason other than he wanted me to know I was his and he was mine; forever.)
At karaoke I would go by just Bella. The night before I had told him that my first name was Anna. He texted me the next morning saying, "I couldn't wait the recommended 3 days to talk to you again. By the way do I call you Anna or Bella?" Even now my face burns from the sheer joy of his text. No games. Just Joshua. And he was choosing me? Why? I know I was an insecure child, but I looked at this beautiful man and at myself, and I was overweight, didn't take care of myself. And he chose me? It didn't make any sense to me and scared me, because I had never wanted or needed anything like I need him. He said that the first thing he saw was the beauty in my heart and that I was a natural beauty. That he could wake up next to me in the morning and I'd be just as beautiful as when I layed down to go to sleep, even more beautiful.
We talked every night for a week. I had always had trouble sleeping, my entire life it had been a few hours a night at most, but after talking to Joshua for 5 hours, I could fall asleep peacefully and for hours. He would talk to me until I fell asleep, his voice so beautiful, peaceful, deep and soothing. He would often talk to me long after I fell asleep, telling me he was already in love with me, but I was too far asleep to hear.
Shortly before we met, Joshua had been in a minor car accident. He had gone to the hospital and was given a prescription of pain medication. It had had a strange effect on him and he was hallucinating from it one night. I was on the phone with him, laying in my bed, and he told me that he saw Papa Smurf. A BIG Papa Smurf. Like 6'8" Papa Smurf. He told me that Papa Smurf kept teasing him about me. Every twenty minutes or so, Joshua would say, "Shut up Papa Smurf!" I was laughing so hard I was crying.
The second phone call he asked me to dinner the next week on my night off from work. At the time I was managing the guest services department at a major chain hotel and going to college full time. My nights off were Tuesday and Wednesday, the days I had my classes, and of course karaoke nights. It was one of the longest weeks of my young life. The nervous excitement, and during the time he kept recording short songs that he had written me on his phone and would send them to me at work. My nickname was Panda based on a long running joke from grade school based on an old Snickers commercial. One night he sent me a song he wrote called the Sleepy Panda Blues, because I had told him I was tired. It brightened up a long day at work. It also brightened up my day when he sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off, not out of arrogance, well, we'll call it confidence. Though the picture was meant just for me, I couldn't control myself and had to share it and show it off to every female that I worked with, it sure brightened their day as well. I kept asking advice from the girls I worked with about what to wear, what should I do? I had never been on a real date before. Not where the man comes to your door and picks you up, takes you out, drives you home, kisses you goodnight. I was nervous and so excited.
So Tuesday came. Date night. I skipped all of my classes that day and spent four hours getting ready. Showered twice. I had never spent more than fifteen minutes getting ready for anything, even prom. About an hour before he was supposed to pick me up he called. His father had run his truck off the road and Joshua had to go tow him out. Sure, I understand, is what I told him. And then collapsed sobbing. Of course, now I feel ridiculous because that's life, and Joshua doesn't have a lying bone in his body, but at the time I thought for sure he was standing me up. I ruined my meticulously applied makeup. I called my best friend at the time sobbing about it. She told me to get ahold of myself, take a shower, get a drink, and calm down. The voice of reason for the evening she said, if he was standing you up, he wouldn't have called. So buck up!
I did what she said, and Joshua continued to call me every half hour to let me know when he would be able to make it to me. It was getting late around 11pm, when he finally had managed to help his father out of the jam and quickly went home to shower and change. I had showered again and reapplied makeup and previously picked out outfit, something else I had never done before. We decided since it was getting late that I would meet him out at the bar where we met. I was so nervous driving out there. It was about a 30 minute drive for the both of us. The whole way wondering if I would be more nervous if I got there first or if he did. When I walked into the bar; he was there. Looking gorgeous like he had spent hours getting ready, instead of having spent just a few minutes after his good deed. My whole being sighed in relief. There was music playing and he was facing away from the door watching the television. I came up behind him and gave him a hug from behind, setting my head on his shoulder.
As we are sitting there, enjoying each other's company, obviously both overwhelmed because of the sparks that were flying, Joshua received a text message. Though he wanted to ignore it, he was afraid it might have had something to do with his family, as his mother was very ill. The text message said simply I love you. I asked who it was from. He said it was from M, his cat. I said to him, your cat sent you a text message? He said, no sadly M had had to be put down. I said So your dead cat sent you a text message? And he said, no it's from my nephew, pretending to be M to make me feel better. And I said, Okay so your nephew pretending to be your dead cat texted you. Got it.
Joshua did not speak a word for about five minutes, as I saw the sadness in his eyes. I took his head into my hands and layed it on my shoulder. Later he had told me that it made him feel completely at peace and that he had never felt that kind of love before. He then asked if we could go outside. So we went outside and though he himmed and hawed for a couple minutes he finally explained and apologized for having lied about the text message. He then went on to tell me who it was. It was a woman that he had met in a chatroom for a VH1 television show. Eventually they had exchanged numbers, in Joshua's mind it was just for friendship. Later on, he found out that that wasn't her intention and that she was married and told her that they can not speak any longer. He felt so horrible about having lied, and even though I had known it, he kept apologizing over and over. I told him it was okay. That was the only lie he's ever told me.
We went back inside the bar and sat down for a few minutes. He ordered us each a soda, me a Fanta, and him a Slice. It was the first time a man had ever bought me anything. As we were getting ready to leave Joshua said to me, I'd really like to kiss you now. I said, but there's people watching us. He said I don't care and kissed me. Our very first kiss was awkward (And neither of us count it). I had gotten into my head that everything had to be movie perfect, because Joshua's the perfect man. He had a full beard and mustache at the time. I had obviously kissed before, but never a man and never with facial hair. We pulled back and he immediately ran the his left hand up my neck under my hair to cusp my head and his right hand he placed gently on my check and pulled me forward, tilted my head and said, "That won't do. I can do better." The next kiss took my breath away and literally made me weak at the knees. We laughed about the first kiss, and agreed we wouldn't count that, and he had asked me what happened during it for me. I had mentioned to him about his mustache being a first for me.
We kissed goodnight after sharing orange Fantas and talking until the bar closed. We agreed to meet halfway again the next night at the casino. The next night when I got to the casino, he was already there minus the mustache. I didn't say anything to him about it, but to tell him he looked nice. He didn't say anything about it, but told me that I was beautiful. We played some of the video poker games and went to the restaurant. There were three girls and one guy with. I had to run to the gas station across the street. Joshua followed. He was leaning against his truck, he had taken off his shirt and was wearing just a dago tee (tank top/wife beater). He said I'm sorry I took my shirt off, it's getting a bit warm. I said, that's okay you can wear just that. Then we all went out to the bar where we had met, for karaoke night.
After karaoke we stepped outside to leave. I asked him if he wanted to come back to my apartment to hang out. He said, I get up early to work out, and then I help my dad out with work, and then I spend most of the evening working on my music and album. He kissed me and gave me a hug and was walking away to leave, but immediately turned back around and said, you know what? I'm coming over. So we headed back to my house talking the whole way there on our cell phones. We had heard Rockstar by Nickelback on the way to my place, listening to the same radio station while we were talking on the phone.(And for safety reasons on speaker phone, of course.) He had never heard it before and we had laughed at the lyrics together (I'll have the quesadilla, haha) I am a classically trained pianist, but fancied myself a guitar player with all of the skill and finese of the 3 chords that I knew at the time. My television was in my bedroom, and we headed up there where we were greeted by my very carefully and obviously placed acoustic guitar, tuned and out so that it was the first thing that you saw when you walked into the room. He had told me he was a guitarist, but being a musician, I was skeptical. Again, not knowing his talent at the time and that he never lies or exaggerates, I thought of how many of the boys I had grown up with thought they were guitarists. He asked me politely if he could play my guitar, picked it up, checked if it was in tune, and sat legs crossed on the floor of my room.
He immediately started playing the song Rockstar. His ear and mind are so quick and so in tune (his perfect pitch that I am jealous of) that as we had listened to it, not only had he figured out exactly how it went, but remembered all of the lyrics too, and played it for me! Everything was perfect. From the phrasing, to the rhythm and lead which he played at the same time, and he matched the singers voices spot on, including Billy Gibbons from ZZtop saying the fondly remembered Quesadilla, haha. I was in so much awe I had nothing to say. My friend, at the time, was looking through my closet for clothes that she could borrow. Though Joshua and I were so completely locked into each other, we forgot she was even there. She then said, I think I'll leave you two to have some alone time now. Joshua said to her, it was nice meeting you. My friend said that she was going to go hang out downstairs with my roommates. She then sent me a text that said He's a keeper don't let this one go saying other wonderful things that I read to him.
He immediately went into two songs by Stevie Ray Vaughan: Pride & Joy, and Texas Flood. I hadn't heard them before, but I have since, but never on an acoustic and never with the level of skill that he played while sitting Indian style on the floor.
He paused and said "Am I boring you?"
I said to him, "No, it's just so amazing"
Joshua said, "Well I told you I was a musician."
And I had replied, "Yeah, but everybody says that." having no idea what a real musician sounded like til that moment. It was flawless.
He asked me if I would play him a song, as obviously he knew I could, having owned the guitar. I picked it up, and sat on the edge of my bed, while he lay on the floor with one arm propping him up, and I played and sang for him Breathe (2am) by Anna Nalick. Later he would tell me that it was at that moment he knew that I was the one he was going to spend the rest of his life with and that he had fallen completely head over heels in love with me right there at that moment. His angel that he had been searching for his entire life.
He played me several songs that night, including a few of the very famous ones that he had written for friends. He ended with Oh, Darlin by the Beatles and I quietly started crying. I didn't let him see it, but I knew he knew. It had been the first time I cried, in I couldn't remember how long except (for our first date of course. He made me into a lady, in a good way.) Afterwards, we lay on my floor holding each other and talking about everything and anything. Confiding our secrets, and laughing about our pasts.
Our second date was just as crazy as the first, but this time it was my fault, but not all the blame fell on me. I was at work, and was going to meet Joshua after work for a movie and dinner. I had been feeling a little crummy, but I wasn't going to let anything stop me from seeing him. A couple hours before I would normally leave my oldest girl friend, J, came into my work. She asked if she could talk to me in private. I asked my girls at the front desk to take over for a few and went down to the restaurant we had in the hotel. We sat down and I got her some water. She said that she was really down and depressed. Her boyfriend had broken up with her recently, and she said that she was suicidal. I told her that I had a date with Joshua. She told me that she had heard that and asked to come along, she said that she didn't trust herself to be alone. I left to call Joshua, but my cell connection wasn't working, I thought okay well he won't mind. And honestly it would be a safety blanket so that I wouldn't do anything too stupid or embarrassing.
Joshua was so gracious, even with no warning, when I showed up with J, he didn't say a word. He had been waiting lying on the bench right inside the movie theatre, with his knees up and one arm under his neck, and one arm over his eyes. I told him what had happened with her and he was completely understanding about it. He was a little hurt, he had wanted to spend time with me, not with my friend, but he bought us both a ticket and food from the concession stand and the three of us went into see the movie 9. I had been looking forward to the movie coming out, I was intrigued by the story, and I was looking forward to the unique style of animation, little did I know that Joshua despises animated films. But he was a such good sport about it. He sat there and we held hands throughout the entire movie despite him being so uncomfortable because the seats were way too small. Being so muscular and tall at 6'3.5", 265lbs of rippling muscle, he had to slouch, and his legs were way out into the aisle, and the seats were hard and had no give. My poor Joshua.
After the movie, Joshua, J and I were standing outside in the parking light. It was way past dark. Right before I had left work, I had to call in our standby night worker at the last minute. We only had one person working at night, and she had had an emergency. However, our on call night auditor had only done the work a couple times. After the movie was over, I got a panicked call from work, and had to walk her through several tasks. While I was on the phone, J was over by Joshua. Leaning on my car, stretching up, lifting her shirt up and nearly flashing him. Later Joshua told me about it. I was pissed. I was pissed at her, and at myself. I had let myself be made a fool of by J, who had never been suicidal in the first place, but had come along for the sole purpose of trying to steal Joshua away from me. And I fell for it, because I was too busy running from my own heart. But Joshua was too smart. He knew the whole time what J was doing, and for that matter what I was doing, but he was patient and kind. He comforted me over my distress from the betrayal of the person who was supposed to be one of my best friends.
Neither of us were virgins when we met, but Joshua had taken a vow of celibacy for five years. He said that he wasn't going to have sex until he was married. But he told me that after meeting me, he changed it to not until he knew it was the person he was going to spend the rest of his life with and marry and he knew it was me. He's always believed there's a fine line between chivalry and chauvinism. The first night we were intimate, we didn't have sex. We were in my room at my apartment, and he said to me, "Take off your clothes." I said, "I don't think we should have sex, we barely know each other." and he said, "Take off your clothes now." I said, "Okay." He took of his shirt, but he turned his back. He said to me, "Don't look at my gut." And then he turned around. And I said, "Seriously?!?!? What gut? You don't have a gut you have an 8 pack, it's not even a 6 pack. I have a gut. You look like you're carved out of stone like a statue of a Greek God." And he said to me, "You don't have a gut, you're body is beautiful. Everything about you is beautiful." He came over to the bed, where I was laying naked, and he layed down with me and started rubbing his hands over my body. He complimented me on how beautiful and soft my skin was, and said that it was like moonlight. He ran his fingers gently over my face and said that he loved my little nose. And my beautiful eyes, and he said that we have the same size mouth and lips, and that we both have full cheeks. And he would kiss me and bite my tongue and nibble on my bottom lip and, well, we'll leave it at that (otherwise we'll have to change the age limit on this site.)
But he didn't take advantage of me. He was respectful and we held each other, but we didn't make love. As we were about to fall asleep he held me close and said, "I'm in love with you. I know you'll never love me as much as I love you, but maybe one day, if you can chisel some of the ice off of your heart, you'll learn to love me" I started crying. He then went on to tell me about the verse in the bible that stated that if your love is true, one person is enough. Enough for forever together, and enough for salvation.
The next day I prayed. I really prayed. I was so scared of what I was feeling. I had lived my life drowning in my own self-misery. I was afraid to feel safe, I was afraid to accept Joshua's love. I prayed to God, please give me an answer. Tell me it's okay to care, tell me it's okay to love him, that it is forever, that I don't have to be afraid that if I give him my heart that he'll disappear. All of a sudden a song came on the radio. It was Falling for you by Colbie Caillat. I started crying, I prayed, please God, I think this is the answer I was asking for, but please I need to know for certain. When the song was over Smile by Uncle Kracker came on. I knew this was the answer I was seeking. When I saw Joshua that night I told him "I love you" for the first time, it felt so natural, so normal, so right. I said it a dozen more times, just to try it out, to feel.
Things progressed really quickly for our relationship. After the first week, we spent every night together. The nights he couldn't come to me, I would drive the hour to him, and he would stay up all night waiting for me as I usually didn't get off work and out to him until 2am or much later. He was so patient and gracious, even after a full day of hard labor and working out to rehabilitate his body and then he would take care of me, making sure I eat, making sure that I slept, exercised, he brought me back to health and beyond any level of health and happiness that I had ever had before.
One night, while we were sleeping in bed together, I woke up out of a dead sleep and sat straight up. I had never felt the way I felt at that moment before. A peace in my heart. Joy. I got out of bed, leaving Joshua sleeping, and got out my computer and I wrote. I wrote of my love for Joshua, I wrote of the love that he showed me, I wrote of my renewed and now confirmed faith, and I wrote of the gift that God had given me in Joshua. Joshua woke and came out to find me and we talked. I read him what I had written and he told me, "That's love. That's faith. That's God." And he held me. He told me to never forget what that felt like, because though it may, and will probably fade, that it is never truly gone.
Joshua loves with a purity that just doesn't exist. Anybody can die for someone they love. But how many people exist that make the choice to live in torture for the one they love? Joshua is my angel, literally and in every sense and meaning of the word. He has saved my life a thousand times in a thousand ways, including when I went into a coma. Nobody loves as purely as he. No one gives as generously as he. And no one else would be willing to sacrifice their health to try to reach someone's heart, not to save their life, but to save their soul.
.......To Be Continued......
~Anna Bella Vaughan
At karaoke I would go by just Bella. The night before I had told him that my first name was Anna. He texted me the next morning saying, "I couldn't wait the recommended 3 days to talk to you again. By the way do I call you Anna or Bella?" Even now my face burns from the sheer joy of his text. No games. Just Joshua. And he was choosing me? Why? I know I was an insecure child, but I looked at this beautiful man and at myself, and I was overweight, didn't take care of myself. And he chose me? It didn't make any sense to me and scared me, because I had never wanted or needed anything like I need him. He said that the first thing he saw was the beauty in my heart and that I was a natural beauty. That he could wake up next to me in the morning and I'd be just as beautiful as when I layed down to go to sleep, even more beautiful.
We talked every night for a week. I had always had trouble sleeping, my entire life it had been a few hours a night at most, but after talking to Joshua for 5 hours, I could fall asleep peacefully and for hours. He would talk to me until I fell asleep, his voice so beautiful, peaceful, deep and soothing. He would often talk to me long after I fell asleep, telling me he was already in love with me, but I was too far asleep to hear.
Shortly before we met, Joshua had been in a minor car accident. He had gone to the hospital and was given a prescription of pain medication. It had had a strange effect on him and he was hallucinating from it one night. I was on the phone with him, laying in my bed, and he told me that he saw Papa Smurf. A BIG Papa Smurf. Like 6'8" Papa Smurf. He told me that Papa Smurf kept teasing him about me. Every twenty minutes or so, Joshua would say, "Shut up Papa Smurf!" I was laughing so hard I was crying.
The second phone call he asked me to dinner the next week on my night off from work. At the time I was managing the guest services department at a major chain hotel and going to college full time. My nights off were Tuesday and Wednesday, the days I had my classes, and of course karaoke nights. It was one of the longest weeks of my young life. The nervous excitement, and during the time he kept recording short songs that he had written me on his phone and would send them to me at work. My nickname was Panda based on a long running joke from grade school based on an old Snickers commercial. One night he sent me a song he wrote called the Sleepy Panda Blues, because I had told him I was tired. It brightened up a long day at work. It also brightened up my day when he sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off, not out of arrogance, well, we'll call it confidence. Though the picture was meant just for me, I couldn't control myself and had to share it and show it off to every female that I worked with, it sure brightened their day as well. I kept asking advice from the girls I worked with about what to wear, what should I do? I had never been on a real date before. Not where the man comes to your door and picks you up, takes you out, drives you home, kisses you goodnight. I was nervous and so excited.
So Tuesday came. Date night. I skipped all of my classes that day and spent four hours getting ready. Showered twice. I had never spent more than fifteen minutes getting ready for anything, even prom. About an hour before he was supposed to pick me up he called. His father had run his truck off the road and Joshua had to go tow him out. Sure, I understand, is what I told him. And then collapsed sobbing. Of course, now I feel ridiculous because that's life, and Joshua doesn't have a lying bone in his body, but at the time I thought for sure he was standing me up. I ruined my meticulously applied makeup. I called my best friend at the time sobbing about it. She told me to get ahold of myself, take a shower, get a drink, and calm down. The voice of reason for the evening she said, if he was standing you up, he wouldn't have called. So buck up!
I did what she said, and Joshua continued to call me every half hour to let me know when he would be able to make it to me. It was getting late around 11pm, when he finally had managed to help his father out of the jam and quickly went home to shower and change. I had showered again and reapplied makeup and previously picked out outfit, something else I had never done before. We decided since it was getting late that I would meet him out at the bar where we met. I was so nervous driving out there. It was about a 30 minute drive for the both of us. The whole way wondering if I would be more nervous if I got there first or if he did. When I walked into the bar; he was there. Looking gorgeous like he had spent hours getting ready, instead of having spent just a few minutes after his good deed. My whole being sighed in relief. There was music playing and he was facing away from the door watching the television. I came up behind him and gave him a hug from behind, setting my head on his shoulder.
As we are sitting there, enjoying each other's company, obviously both overwhelmed because of the sparks that were flying, Joshua received a text message. Though he wanted to ignore it, he was afraid it might have had something to do with his family, as his mother was very ill. The text message said simply I love you. I asked who it was from. He said it was from M, his cat. I said to him, your cat sent you a text message? He said, no sadly M had had to be put down. I said So your dead cat sent you a text message? And he said, no it's from my nephew, pretending to be M to make me feel better. And I said, Okay so your nephew pretending to be your dead cat texted you. Got it.
Joshua did not speak a word for about five minutes, as I saw the sadness in his eyes. I took his head into my hands and layed it on my shoulder. Later he had told me that it made him feel completely at peace and that he had never felt that kind of love before. He then asked if we could go outside. So we went outside and though he himmed and hawed for a couple minutes he finally explained and apologized for having lied about the text message. He then went on to tell me who it was. It was a woman that he had met in a chatroom for a VH1 television show. Eventually they had exchanged numbers, in Joshua's mind it was just for friendship. Later on, he found out that that wasn't her intention and that she was married and told her that they can not speak any longer. He felt so horrible about having lied, and even though I had known it, he kept apologizing over and over. I told him it was okay. That was the only lie he's ever told me.
We went back inside the bar and sat down for a few minutes. He ordered us each a soda, me a Fanta, and him a Slice. It was the first time a man had ever bought me anything. As we were getting ready to leave Joshua said to me, I'd really like to kiss you now. I said, but there's people watching us. He said I don't care and kissed me. Our very first kiss was awkward (And neither of us count it). I had gotten into my head that everything had to be movie perfect, because Joshua's the perfect man. He had a full beard and mustache at the time. I had obviously kissed before, but never a man and never with facial hair. We pulled back and he immediately ran the his left hand up my neck under my hair to cusp my head and his right hand he placed gently on my check and pulled me forward, tilted my head and said, "That won't do. I can do better." The next kiss took my breath away and literally made me weak at the knees. We laughed about the first kiss, and agreed we wouldn't count that, and he had asked me what happened during it for me. I had mentioned to him about his mustache being a first for me.
We kissed goodnight after sharing orange Fantas and talking until the bar closed. We agreed to meet halfway again the next night at the casino. The next night when I got to the casino, he was already there minus the mustache. I didn't say anything to him about it, but to tell him he looked nice. He didn't say anything about it, but told me that I was beautiful. We played some of the video poker games and went to the restaurant. There were three girls and one guy with. I had to run to the gas station across the street. Joshua followed. He was leaning against his truck, he had taken off his shirt and was wearing just a dago tee (tank top/wife beater). He said I'm sorry I took my shirt off, it's getting a bit warm. I said, that's okay you can wear just that. Then we all went out to the bar where we had met, for karaoke night.
After karaoke we stepped outside to leave. I asked him if he wanted to come back to my apartment to hang out. He said, I get up early to work out, and then I help my dad out with work, and then I spend most of the evening working on my music and album. He kissed me and gave me a hug and was walking away to leave, but immediately turned back around and said, you know what? I'm coming over. So we headed back to my house talking the whole way there on our cell phones. We had heard Rockstar by Nickelback on the way to my place, listening to the same radio station while we were talking on the phone.(And for safety reasons on speaker phone, of course.) He had never heard it before and we had laughed at the lyrics together (I'll have the quesadilla, haha) I am a classically trained pianist, but fancied myself a guitar player with all of the skill and finese of the 3 chords that I knew at the time. My television was in my bedroom, and we headed up there where we were greeted by my very carefully and obviously placed acoustic guitar, tuned and out so that it was the first thing that you saw when you walked into the room. He had told me he was a guitarist, but being a musician, I was skeptical. Again, not knowing his talent at the time and that he never lies or exaggerates, I thought of how many of the boys I had grown up with thought they were guitarists. He asked me politely if he could play my guitar, picked it up, checked if it was in tune, and sat legs crossed on the floor of my room.
He immediately started playing the song Rockstar. His ear and mind are so quick and so in tune (his perfect pitch that I am jealous of) that as we had listened to it, not only had he figured out exactly how it went, but remembered all of the lyrics too, and played it for me! Everything was perfect. From the phrasing, to the rhythm and lead which he played at the same time, and he matched the singers voices spot on, including Billy Gibbons from ZZtop saying the fondly remembered Quesadilla, haha. I was in so much awe I had nothing to say. My friend, at the time, was looking through my closet for clothes that she could borrow. Though Joshua and I were so completely locked into each other, we forgot she was even there. She then said, I think I'll leave you two to have some alone time now. Joshua said to her, it was nice meeting you. My friend said that she was going to go hang out downstairs with my roommates. She then sent me a text that said He's a keeper don't let this one go saying other wonderful things that I read to him.
He immediately went into two songs by Stevie Ray Vaughan: Pride & Joy, and Texas Flood. I hadn't heard them before, but I have since, but never on an acoustic and never with the level of skill that he played while sitting Indian style on the floor.
He paused and said "Am I boring you?"
I said to him, "No, it's just so amazing"
Joshua said, "Well I told you I was a musician."
And I had replied, "Yeah, but everybody says that." having no idea what a real musician sounded like til that moment. It was flawless.
He asked me if I would play him a song, as obviously he knew I could, having owned the guitar. I picked it up, and sat on the edge of my bed, while he lay on the floor with one arm propping him up, and I played and sang for him Breathe (2am) by Anna Nalick. Later he would tell me that it was at that moment he knew that I was the one he was going to spend the rest of his life with and that he had fallen completely head over heels in love with me right there at that moment. His angel that he had been searching for his entire life.
He played me several songs that night, including a few of the very famous ones that he had written for friends. He ended with Oh, Darlin by the Beatles and I quietly started crying. I didn't let him see it, but I knew he knew. It had been the first time I cried, in I couldn't remember how long except (for our first date of course. He made me into a lady, in a good way.) Afterwards, we lay on my floor holding each other and talking about everything and anything. Confiding our secrets, and laughing about our pasts.
Our second date was just as crazy as the first, but this time it was my fault, but not all the blame fell on me. I was at work, and was going to meet Joshua after work for a movie and dinner. I had been feeling a little crummy, but I wasn't going to let anything stop me from seeing him. A couple hours before I would normally leave my oldest girl friend, J, came into my work. She asked if she could talk to me in private. I asked my girls at the front desk to take over for a few and went down to the restaurant we had in the hotel. We sat down and I got her some water. She said that she was really down and depressed. Her boyfriend had broken up with her recently, and she said that she was suicidal. I told her that I had a date with Joshua. She told me that she had heard that and asked to come along, she said that she didn't trust herself to be alone. I left to call Joshua, but my cell connection wasn't working, I thought okay well he won't mind. And honestly it would be a safety blanket so that I wouldn't do anything too stupid or embarrassing.
Joshua was so gracious, even with no warning, when I showed up with J, he didn't say a word. He had been waiting lying on the bench right inside the movie theatre, with his knees up and one arm under his neck, and one arm over his eyes. I told him what had happened with her and he was completely understanding about it. He was a little hurt, he had wanted to spend time with me, not with my friend, but he bought us both a ticket and food from the concession stand and the three of us went into see the movie 9. I had been looking forward to the movie coming out, I was intrigued by the story, and I was looking forward to the unique style of animation, little did I know that Joshua despises animated films. But he was a such good sport about it. He sat there and we held hands throughout the entire movie despite him being so uncomfortable because the seats were way too small. Being so muscular and tall at 6'3.5", 265lbs of rippling muscle, he had to slouch, and his legs were way out into the aisle, and the seats were hard and had no give. My poor Joshua.
After the movie, Joshua, J and I were standing outside in the parking light. It was way past dark. Right before I had left work, I had to call in our standby night worker at the last minute. We only had one person working at night, and she had had an emergency. However, our on call night auditor had only done the work a couple times. After the movie was over, I got a panicked call from work, and had to walk her through several tasks. While I was on the phone, J was over by Joshua. Leaning on my car, stretching up, lifting her shirt up and nearly flashing him. Later Joshua told me about it. I was pissed. I was pissed at her, and at myself. I had let myself be made a fool of by J, who had never been suicidal in the first place, but had come along for the sole purpose of trying to steal Joshua away from me. And I fell for it, because I was too busy running from my own heart. But Joshua was too smart. He knew the whole time what J was doing, and for that matter what I was doing, but he was patient and kind. He comforted me over my distress from the betrayal of the person who was supposed to be one of my best friends.
Neither of us were virgins when we met, but Joshua had taken a vow of celibacy for five years. He said that he wasn't going to have sex until he was married. But he told me that after meeting me, he changed it to not until he knew it was the person he was going to spend the rest of his life with and marry and he knew it was me. He's always believed there's a fine line between chivalry and chauvinism. The first night we were intimate, we didn't have sex. We were in my room at my apartment, and he said to me, "Take off your clothes." I said, "I don't think we should have sex, we barely know each other." and he said, "Take off your clothes now." I said, "Okay." He took of his shirt, but he turned his back. He said to me, "Don't look at my gut." And then he turned around. And I said, "Seriously?!?!? What gut? You don't have a gut you have an 8 pack, it's not even a 6 pack. I have a gut. You look like you're carved out of stone like a statue of a Greek God." And he said to me, "You don't have a gut, you're body is beautiful. Everything about you is beautiful." He came over to the bed, where I was laying naked, and he layed down with me and started rubbing his hands over my body. He complimented me on how beautiful and soft my skin was, and said that it was like moonlight. He ran his fingers gently over my face and said that he loved my little nose. And my beautiful eyes, and he said that we have the same size mouth and lips, and that we both have full cheeks. And he would kiss me and bite my tongue and nibble on my bottom lip and, well, we'll leave it at that (otherwise we'll have to change the age limit on this site.)
But he didn't take advantage of me. He was respectful and we held each other, but we didn't make love. As we were about to fall asleep he held me close and said, "I'm in love with you. I know you'll never love me as much as I love you, but maybe one day, if you can chisel some of the ice off of your heart, you'll learn to love me" I started crying. He then went on to tell me about the verse in the bible that stated that if your love is true, one person is enough. Enough for forever together, and enough for salvation.
The next day I prayed. I really prayed. I was so scared of what I was feeling. I had lived my life drowning in my own self-misery. I was afraid to feel safe, I was afraid to accept Joshua's love. I prayed to God, please give me an answer. Tell me it's okay to care, tell me it's okay to love him, that it is forever, that I don't have to be afraid that if I give him my heart that he'll disappear. All of a sudden a song came on the radio. It was Falling for you by Colbie Caillat. I started crying, I prayed, please God, I think this is the answer I was asking for, but please I need to know for certain. When the song was over Smile by Uncle Kracker came on. I knew this was the answer I was seeking. When I saw Joshua that night I told him "I love you" for the first time, it felt so natural, so normal, so right. I said it a dozen more times, just to try it out, to feel.
Things progressed really quickly for our relationship. After the first week, we spent every night together. The nights he couldn't come to me, I would drive the hour to him, and he would stay up all night waiting for me as I usually didn't get off work and out to him until 2am or much later. He was so patient and gracious, even after a full day of hard labor and working out to rehabilitate his body and then he would take care of me, making sure I eat, making sure that I slept, exercised, he brought me back to health and beyond any level of health and happiness that I had ever had before.
One night, while we were sleeping in bed together, I woke up out of a dead sleep and sat straight up. I had never felt the way I felt at that moment before. A peace in my heart. Joy. I got out of bed, leaving Joshua sleeping, and got out my computer and I wrote. I wrote of my love for Joshua, I wrote of the love that he showed me, I wrote of my renewed and now confirmed faith, and I wrote of the gift that God had given me in Joshua. Joshua woke and came out to find me and we talked. I read him what I had written and he told me, "That's love. That's faith. That's God." And he held me. He told me to never forget what that felt like, because though it may, and will probably fade, that it is never truly gone.
Joshua loves with a purity that just doesn't exist. Anybody can die for someone they love. But how many people exist that make the choice to live in torture for the one they love? Joshua is my angel, literally and in every sense and meaning of the word. He has saved my life a thousand times in a thousand ways, including when I went into a coma. Nobody loves as purely as he. No one gives as generously as he. And no one else would be willing to sacrifice their health to try to reach someone's heart, not to save their life, but to save their soul.
.......To Be Continued......
~Anna Bella Vaughan
From the GSET TEAM
 |
| Quote by Joshua Jet Vaughan |
From the GSET Team: Joshua's Wife Anna Bella had written us a letter regarding Joshua's experiences from her point of view, but also their life together. A deeper glimpse into this amazing man who inspires and drives our work. We have broken up Anna's letter into several segments that we will intertwine with segments of his story, as it is of great length as well. And when getting into details of his life, the shocking horrors of what he has been through and what he is going through, along with what he has been able to accomplish through this, from what he has done physically, to different paths he has taken in his life. How he has helped so many. And the struggle of his true passion and gift of music that very few have heard. Singing and playing music, when in just partial health, that there's no one that can even compare. Believing in his healing by God's hand so that the world can see him for the wonderful righteous man that he is, but also, so the world can see others that are going through struggles of their own. All accepting and delivering what God intended for us and why Jesus died for us. The spirit that connects us. And it always and only comes down to one thing with Joshua: Love.
No man has lived through the horrors that exist in this world in the quantity and frequency that Joshua has. In the bible, Jesus Christ said, "Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father." John 14:12. We believe that this most heartily applies to the man we all know and love. And as such, we must take the time to do him and the story of his life justice.
What he has lived through has been filled with such tribulation to the point of being unbelievable, and as we've worked with Joshua we've not only seen the terrors of the sickness that plagues him, but also the horrors that mankind is not only capable of, but seems to relish in at his expense. We've discussed as a team, and don't find it coincidental that there are twelve of us that work here on this project.
Paul teaches us, in the bible, that we are to be all things to all people. (To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. 1 Corinthians 9:22)
He has taught us that questioning our faith is how we grow, not to fear condemnation for it. When Jesus said "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Matt 27:46) Joshua teaches us that it is okay to question, because Jesus questioned. Because Jesus did nothing in vain; being without meaning or purpose. Just as we should live our lives the same way. Without questions, you can't find the answers. He taught us that knowing we are never going to reach perfection allows us to know we are perfect. We were given that by God and by Jesus. Understanding that money is not the enemy, it is the love of money. That Saul, who was a persecutor of Christians, a soldier and tax collector, a murderer, a thief; but God saw his heart and offered him redemption and then changed his name to Paul. Job who was favored amongst all men in the world and suffered for God. Joshua knows his strength, reads the bible, studied and prayed, comparing, praying, and Joshua lives by this. But his journey doesn't make sense. He doesn't live in sin; he has always lived righteously. He has lived in the world, but never been of this world. He had never even spoken a swear word until he began getting sick again so rapidly this last time because of the way his illness affects his body and his brain. The first time he took the Lord's name in vain he was driving. He pulled the car over and prayed for forgiveness for twenty minutes. So close to God that he has questioned because of having seen too much of God and not understanding.
Joshua became so close to God, praying 16 hours a day, while he was lying in bed for three and half years, too sick to have a life of any quality; couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't drink. Yet he never questioned because he believed it was for a purpose of which God has given us all one. And Joshua believes that if we each embrace that purpose, that together united, the world can be the way God intended it to be. Finally he got a little bit better, only about 35% and was in remission. But within 6 months goes out of remission again; and still he never questioned for another two years. His questioning was based upon confusion seeming as if the bible applies to everyone except him. But still believing, wanting and needing so much, but out of everything longing for the relationship that he had with God that has now passed. In his heart loving God completely, living his life through the Spirit, but hurts so badly it feels as if God has turned His back on him. He can't understand. He would ask why? What have I done. Tell me I'll fix it, but knowing that he's done nothing. He's repented of his sins. He has always lived righteously with conviction.
This last bought of sickness has destroyed him physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. He's got nothing left, but still he gets up and does things; though he has no moments of happiness or levity, or peace but still searches and finds joy. He wants his health, wondering why he was given these gifts and worked so hard when he's never been able to use nor apply them. Why everyone is so busy with their own lives. We're people. We're supposed to love each other and come together. For we are our brother's keeper. The more we love each other, the more we will become fulfilled. Allowing us to have the success that God wants for us all through dignity, grace, patience, compassion and so much more. Joshua's worked too hard. He's never understood arrogance, has never lived his life in arrogance and through his sickness has given him a greater understanding of this as well as many other things. He's been living the last twenty years of his life in extreme illness and the last ten years suffering to the point of torture. Yet still, he never complains and always pushes forward. He knows what it was like to be confident and convicted and no matter what anybody said or did, he never felt less than. He understands what it is to be unappreciated by everyone, but appreciating everyone; respecting everyone. Always: no matter how sick, taking hours of his time, starving and in pain, dehydrated; taking the time to talk, listen, love. One example of love is learning about people, asking questions, wanting to know their story, wanting to know them, wanting to know you.
Joshua became so close to God, praying 16 hours a day, while he was lying in bed for three and half years, too sick to have a life of any quality; couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't drink. Yet he never questioned because he believed it was for a purpose of which God has given us all one. And Joshua believes that if we each embrace that purpose, that together united, the world can be the way God intended it to be. Finally he got a little bit better, only about 35% and was in remission. But within 6 months goes out of remission again; and still he never questioned for another two years. His questioning was based upon confusion seeming as if the bible applies to everyone except him. But still believing, wanting and needing so much, but out of everything longing for the relationship that he had with God that has now passed. In his heart loving God completely, living his life through the Spirit, but hurts so badly it feels as if God has turned His back on him. He can't understand. He would ask why? What have I done. Tell me I'll fix it, but knowing that he's done nothing. He's repented of his sins. He has always lived righteously with conviction.
This last bought of sickness has destroyed him physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. He's got nothing left, but still he gets up and does things; though he has no moments of happiness or levity, or peace but still searches and finds joy. He wants his health, wondering why he was given these gifts and worked so hard when he's never been able to use nor apply them. Why everyone is so busy with their own lives. We're people. We're supposed to love each other and come together. For we are our brother's keeper. The more we love each other, the more we will become fulfilled. Allowing us to have the success that God wants for us all through dignity, grace, patience, compassion and so much more. Joshua's worked too hard. He's never understood arrogance, has never lived his life in arrogance and through his sickness has given him a greater understanding of this as well as many other things. He's been living the last twenty years of his life in extreme illness and the last ten years suffering to the point of torture. Yet still, he never complains and always pushes forward. He knows what it was like to be confident and convicted and no matter what anybody said or did, he never felt less than. He understands what it is to be unappreciated by everyone, but appreciating everyone; respecting everyone. Always: no matter how sick, taking hours of his time, starving and in pain, dehydrated; taking the time to talk, listen, love. One example of love is learning about people, asking questions, wanting to know their story, wanting to know them, wanting to know you.
And no matter what has happened to him, no matter what he has been put through, never doubting God, never questioning;there is no way that we are not going to do this man justice, that we are not going to do it right, because if this man dies there is no way that we will let his story go untold. And we will carry it on for others. He's staring death in the face each and every day and he knows it. He has a dozen life threatening diseases that he fights through every day, but he doesn't let it get in the way, and that's what it is to be strong. And people don't want to see it. The leader of leaders. Of all men. It is not his purpose for others to feel pity for him. And his purpose is not to live in vain or die in vain.
Thank you so much for your continuing support and love.
 |
| Quote by Joshua Jet Vaughan |
Monday, February 16, 2015
From the GSET Team~ Regarding the deleted letter
We have taken down the letter segment that we had previously posted from Joshua's wife Anna Bella. We feel that it was not a proper representation of Joshua, his story, his family and the love that we all have for this amazing man and his fight. We apologize for any confusion
Thursday, February 12, 2015
The Greatest Stories Ever Told Facebook
We have now launched our facebook page. Please feel free to Like us, and also to submit your stories here as well. Thank you for continuing on this journey with us!
http://www.facebook.com/TheGreatestStoriesEverTold
http://www.facebook.com/TheGreatestStoriesEverTold
Sunday, February 1, 2015
The Story of Joshua~Additions and Extended Details
As we publish The Story of Joshua there will be additions and extension versions of some of the smaller anecdotes that will be added later. There has been so much tragedy in this man's life that those of us at The Greatest Stories Ever Told team are still in shock and awe of this great man that has risen from so much pain and triumphed and fought to live where no other man would. The inspiration of his vision and his heart carries us all.
We will also be adding pictures to his story. Though many pictures were taken of the rest of his family, very few were taken of Joshua in his youth and throughout his life. These rare peeks into the life of this great man, whom we all here admire; we are sure will draw you even further into the remarkable story of his journey. We hope that you are as touched and inspired as all of us on the GSET team are.
We are hoping that by the time his story reaches current day that he is healthy enough so that when his album and movie come out that it will bring more attention to this page so that when the stories of many others are released the world can hear and feel them and we can all start helping those who are in need and together change the world. Starting with one story and one heart. Healing one heart at a time, until everyone is heard, and everyone is helped. And no one is crying out anymore. We can do this.
We will also be adding pictures to his story. Though many pictures were taken of the rest of his family, very few were taken of Joshua in his youth and throughout his life. These rare peeks into the life of this great man, whom we all here admire; we are sure will draw you even further into the remarkable story of his journey. We hope that you are as touched and inspired as all of us on the GSET team are.
We are hoping that by the time his story reaches current day that he is healthy enough so that when his album and movie come out that it will bring more attention to this page so that when the stories of many others are released the world can hear and feel them and we can all start helping those who are in need and together change the world. Starting with one story and one heart. Healing one heart at a time, until everyone is heard, and everyone is helped. And no one is crying out anymore. We can do this.
Saturday, January 31, 2015
Stay Tuned
As we finish our format changes, and post more of The Story of Joshua, we at the Greatest Stories Ever Told team would like to thank everyone for their input and stories thus far, and appreciate your patience as we embark on this journey together.
Thursday, January 29, 2015
Please Pardon Our Reformatting
We have received some comments that our old layout was too dark, and after having a discussion as a team we decided to change our layout and color scheme to make it more welcoming and inviting to those who might be shy to submit their story. Our goal is the share everyone's fascinating stories, and if our site doesn't welcome people in to partake, then we are missing our vision. Over the next several days you may notice changes, major and minor, to our site. Please forgive us for any inconvenience or confusion, however, we hope that the end result makes it a more pleasant experience and a greater voice to our vision. Thank you!
Saturday, January 17, 2015
Slow going
Due to my health this has become very tedious. The stories that are sent in simply have to be reformatted and that takes a lot of work. It's part of the agreement to take the raw story and refine it, basically simplifying it without taking away from the important details. So as of now, others will be doing this for I am incapable as of this moment.
~Joshua Jet Vaughan~
~Joshua Jet Vaughan~
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)