JJV-SRV/Hendrix/Clapton

#Prince Passing #PurpleRain

Laughter is the Best Medicine

I don't personally subscribe to this common cliche that Laughter is the best medicine. I'm sure that most cancer patients, like my husband, will tell you that while laughter is great, and joy is better, that laughter can hurt more than the good feeling that it is brought on by. Despite that fact, my husband still finds time and energy to bring me joy and laughter each and everyday, when I never truly felt the need or inspiration to do so before I met him. He is truly a gift, one that I would like to share with you now. Take Care GSET family.

 Anna Bella Vaughan

Documentary Talk

While I have been fighting for my life and waiting for life-saving emergency surgeries, which is something I've mentioned from time to time; I wanted to talk about, to those who have just joined this page and to those who have been a part of it all along, a reminder of why I started it. Though there are several reasons, the main reason was to create a documentary.

While a lot of people don't know who I am as of yet, throughout the world, at least through mainstream media; for years I have lived in the world that we call celebrity. I am known throughout the music world and movie industries.  Many of my friends have made a successful living in the entrepreneurial world, but more so in the field of the arts.

I bring up my heath because the way I have suffered is inhumane. It has given me an understanding of how we view all aspects of this world. When doing a poll or a study, it is critical that there are a thousand people that are interviewed.  When we do this, we then use mathematics to create statistics based upon the results from a thousand people encompassing the total of the people of the United States.

When doing tests for medicine we do what is called a double blind placebo test.  These are guidelines that are followed, and sometimes laws, so that the question/answer process, or testing procedure can be valued as truth and speak for a nation. It gives it relevance.  Through time, we have found, that by doing things this way, that through these thousand people, we can nail down an outcome, again, for an entire nation.

It seems quite silly, but is usually quite accurate.

In my vision of this documentary, I decided to follow the same guidelines.  Since I have been ill, the process has been more difficult as I have not had a direct hands on approach the way I desire, but will not allow anyone else to do this for me.   As I am the only one that can understand my own vision, as it can not be explained because no one has gone through what I am going through.  I will not speak on how many people have been interviewed. I believe the process would be done by now, if I were healthy; but as soon as we get to that one thousand number, then the real work begins.

I imagine if I had gotten healthier, and my movie, which is coordinated with the documentary, and my album had been released, as the clout that comes from fame, would have inevitably been taken over: people would have jumped at the chance to tell their story.  So here are some interesting points.  Most of the people that are interviewed are everyday, what we call, civilians.  This is a term that is used consistently in Hollywood.  

Hollywood is not a city.  It is an institution that controls the world.  I don't believe there is a person on this planet that would disagree with me on this point.  However, dozens of the people interviewed live in the world of celebrity.  These are people that I have known for many years, and a couple dozen of them are what I would call friends.  On a sidenote: when I became ill, let me rephrase, seriously ill, for the second time in my life  my very famous friends had turned their back on me.  As I had given my word that this documentary would be done: to better the lives of the people involved and of this world. Remarkably, though not surprisingly, I had found with calling in favors for my friends, that the moment I mentioned a camera crew, they were up for the task.

Many musicians, what we call movie stars, as of now very popular A list actors, and even people who actually have their own shows, hence reality shows, have gotten involved.  Though in most interviews I have not been able to be there personally, I would take part via webcam.  I found that it had given people comfort to see my face and hear my voice as the conviction of what I am doing is lost  when I am not involved and also for the fact that throughout my years on this earth, I am deemed as a very trustworthy, honest person which allows for many of these people to feel safe when I give my word.  What is phenomenal is to see the difference in people.

Most people who are going through something unimaginable to the rest of the world, that is unimaginable to themselves, especially dealing with health issues, do not want to speak and have not wanted to take part.  It is the people who have gotten better, went through tragedy into triumph who now want to tell their story.  I suppose people have a difficult time talking about their problems while undergoing them as their problems are a daily reminder; and as they try to cope it is a hardship within itself to simply speak of it.  It is a constant reminder of something that you are always reminded of.  I understand this.

I am confused by the fact that when pain becomes so great that people want someone to whisk in and save them, but won't do so when help is offered. But I also understand that the lack of trust and hopelessness from what man has done to them, creates a jaded strength.  And I am amazed that when people state they are in pain, they are held in contempt as this is somehow a fault which allows man to pass judgment. When talking to the medical community;  the sick who have had to build the strength to survive; the medical community look at these people as weak.  As they try to deal and cope with incredible strength and grace, and in this generation of modern medicine, the medical community does not believe that someone could come in with these virtues and be that sick, even when the test results show to the contrary.

I have been deemed myself, by the medical community, as combative.  I speak my mind.  We all know ourselves better than anyone else could.  And somehow people become offended by this fact. And let me remind you that I was once a doctor.  When this documentary comes out, you will be horrified of what is going on inside hospitals and doctor's offices.   Along with religion.  The churches that have been interviewed.  The judgment placed. I will give you a fact: churches are tax exempt.  The government does this for them for the reason, as in good faith, they believe in the institution of religion, to use this money that is not paid into taxes, to help those who are in need.  And they must do so accordingly to federal guidelines.   The dishonesty of doctors, of the church, the corruption and abuse, you will see is unprecedented. We have interviewed law officials, federal and state employees including soldiers and even many homeless individuals and so many other people who we classify, and you will see the heresy, the chaos that is being created by the people that we pay to ensure fairness and humanity.

It is also very interesting how we view each other, and our own struggles.  I wanted to bring in people that have had great success in this world, and show the difference on how they look at themselves and others.  It is amazing to find that one person's struggle, which is just simply a part of life and working hard would be another person's joy; the going through the bureaucracy and the politics that lie in the music and movie world are somehow more difficult than that of the person who is fighting cancer without treatment or proper treatment.

And how the celebrity can never be happy content or full of joy until they succeed in a way that allows them to feel important and as we say "made it," which usually comes through winning an award or worldly recognition in abundance and continuous.  The other person, who is truly fighting for their life does not get to pursue their dreams and goals  because they are fighting for their life and they are suffering horribly.  And one thing that I have learned about life is that the pursuit of happiness, by pursuing your dreams and goals, simply moving forward, and no matter how slow, continually making progress is what people thrive on so that they can have a worthwhile life.  Without this it is like the Dead Sea. You are stagnant. There is no new water coming in and no old water going out, not allowing for life, but sometimes comes down to simply welcoming death.  Now that, my friends, is struggle. We must have a healthy outlet. Even in life, when we take steps backwards, it allows us to run and leap forward.

In this world the right hand does not know what the left hand is doing when they should be washing each other.  I am saying about coming together.  The more we know each other, the more we can empathize: meaning to suffer along with.  The more we empathize, the more we understand.  The more we understand, the more we support.  This allows for a better chance of living in a world of love and peace, not just survival or existence.  I have found myself that I can not empathize with a person who has taken on the task of being successful in their chosen field because there is no way to suffer along with non-suffering.  And when they succeed in this field, their life actually goes backwards.

Yet, these are the people who get the help they need.  They take for granted that they walk by a person who can not even get an aspirin from a doctor for a horrible disease, but if they injure themselves, because there is an investment into their life, from another person, they receive help, thoughts, prayers until they are completely recovered.  Yet, many of the people being passed over, not only are suffering horribly, these people could be the greatest example for others the next Einstein, the next Martin Luther King Jr., the next president of the United States, the greatest actor ever, an incredible musician, an inventor that benefits the lives of billions, but until they get their health and recognition, they are just simply expendable.

I have been most sickened, through this interview process  by the medical community, law officials, our government representatives, and by what I will call the church.  They live in a small minded world, picking and choosing who is the most valuable to them, and they determine this, most often, in this study, by what the person in the most need can give back to them.

You will find that media has destroyed this world.  My documentary is supposed to give those people who do not have a voice the largest voice of all, but not through the volume  of the pitch of their voice, but by volume of the people they reach.  I have found that most people think only of themselves.  We see everyday on reality shows and on multimedia that a person's choice of gender or whether or not they are pregnant is what we in society grab onto as being relevant and important.  When a person wants to tell the world that they are truly pregnant, and that somehow that is important to the world, not understanding that this is all about vanity and that this point has no relevance to anyone but themselves yet somehow this is not embarrassing and is deemed worthy as news or entertainment news when nobody gives a shit, that there is a person a mile down the street who can not get insurance to take care of themselves or their unborn child; and the furthest thing from their mind is caring about what people have to say.

You will see in this documentary very famous celebrities at award shows.  When edited you will see people suffering watching the award shows.  You will be able to see the difference and how we view ourselves and we view others.

So many people are longing to be recognized, to be remembered.  But have you asked yourself... for what?  What would you like to be recognized for? Remembered for? Your lip implants? Your hair? Your horrible traumatic event of having to choose to play a character and remembering it as the hardest choice you had to make in your life.  You'll be amazed by how we look at each other.

What's also amazing is that some people forget the camera is even there, but many are very aware and put on a show.  This documentary will strip down all the lies and all the makeup that is hiding the truth in this world.  You will be able to form a proper, realistic, rational, logical conclusion.

Even in my sickness, when my body and mind is corrupted, I have a gift.  My gift is that I can sift through  bullshit so fast that people can not hide behind it.  I always have known what questions to ask to get the truth.  I am one of those people that you either love or hate, or sometimes both.  In my  lack of health I have found it hard to slow myself down many a times.  Many times, however, this is beneficial for my purpose, but not beneficial to my health.

The friends that I have acquired throughout this life, love the fact that I speak my mind.  My life is so extraordinary,  but let me separate these two words.  Down to extra-ordinary. Negative and positive. Through this I have learned how to manipulate without manipulating.  Manipulation can be a horrible thing.  If you do so because it is the only way you can find the truth, know where you stand, better lives and the world, it is just like any emotion, it becomes righteous.  Having anger without holding it in your heart. Having sadness without letting it consume you.  Learning that in order to be strong we must be weak and that through weakness comes strength.

Everything on this planet has a literal polar opposite.  Up, down. Left, right. Back, front. Good, bad. Right, wrong.  And on and on it goes.  And this has never been more relevant than with people themselves.  This documentary, I hope, brings to fruition, the fact that being opposites is what brings us together.  If we only accept and empathize and of course, appreciate our differences.

I will give you an example of this.  If you take two magnets of the same polarity, they will constantly keep pushing away from each other.  Yet, if you take two magnets of opposite polarity, they will latch together with incredible speed and voracity.  We will also see how some people love to articulate through bullshit.  Some people have no vocabulary at all.  That they live in the world of fear, and the only way they can get out of it is through validation of a person that they view as being greater than themselves.  You will see arrogance that is stemmed from unbelievable insecurity.

You are watching it and hearing it every day of your life.  Big stories such as Caitlyn Jenner.  A 65 year lie.  According to her somehow through  this lie the world will be changed for the better.  But again, she is the only person that has a voice.

Are we even aware of the impact we have on others? The childishness that is multimedia? And again, I ask you, we so desperately want to be heard, but we choose to speak nonsense, hiding behind a computer screen.  We deem ourselves so worthy that we can rattle off a tweet, but not respond to the people we are talking to the ones who support us the most and that is an example of a me, me, I, I selfish asshole.  And pardon my language, as I try not to speak like this, but those people can go fuck themselves, as obviously they have not realized that what they are missing in their life is the fact that they need someone to pull that giant stick out of their ass. But then there would be no strings to pull, as there would be no puppeteer and no marionette.  Hey kids! It's Howdy Doody time. If you don't get that reference you're not old enough to be reading this.

My documentary will change the world.  Corruption will be brought forth.  Many of these institutions will be brought down.  On a personal note: though my movie and album are going through a studio and I own the rights for every aspect of these, my documentary would not be allowed to be done the same way.  So I picked up the tab.

When it comes out, I will have funded it myself.  I am willing to spend tens of millions of dollars.  Hell, I will spend a hundred million to bring righteousness to this corrupt world.  I was going to leave my story out of it, because of my movie, and then I deemed myself a hypocrite.  I justified the fact that if I brought myself into it, then it would be about me.  Well, it is.  In order to understand what is happening with other people and their struggles, I realize that you have to understand why the man who is doing this would do it.

I am just like everyone else and I am nothing like everyone else.  I have preached love, but I, like many others at times have lived my life in hatred. My hypocrisy knows no bounds, but in the statement, I am acknowledging my hypocrisy, which allows me to change it, because there is nothing worse than a hypocrite, except for maybe a politician (same difference.)  But this comes down to a polar opposite. You can not love without understanding the negativity of having hatred in your heart. We need to accept these things about ourselves so that we can better ourselves.

I am tired of sugar coating.  I have tried to walk softly on people's hearts and listen to the filth that comes out of their mouths.  But the fact is that I would be a horrible example if I lit into everyone as they go through their learning process just as I have had to go through mine. From 30 through 33 and a half I suffered torture.  Until recently, I thought that was the worst it could get.  Through those 3 and a half years I hated everyone and everything, except for God.  While suffering immensely, I took on the task of changing myself.  When I went in remission, all I felt was love.  When I became ill again, as I believed at 34, after meeting my wife, this was my time, our time, to finally shine, to serve a purpose greater than ourselves.  I started to decline very quickly.  I held onto my faith. And then something changed.  I still have love in my heart, but I hate God. I had, what I believed to be, an incredible relationship with the Lord, and in all my life's struggles, I believed they were for a greater purpose.  But through what I have experienced, as well as my wife, I simply can not find the purpose in this. I have battled with my faith and THAT is what I hate. It is all consuming. Though I have searched for answers somehow I am not allowed to understand, but that is the only way to find the truth, and this is, what I have found, many people go through.  Yet, these people, in their lack of faith, still have more faith than any other human being.  They are treated by people and especially by Christians as faithless corrupted losers.  I had my own family and have heard and seen other people literally be rebuked, no not their disease, but them, by the representatives of God.  But I would be remiss if I did not state that the bible says nothing happens out of God's will.  But I can not agree with this. I am not God, but I did not know I was supposed to be. And that is where people need to step up, because maybe, that is the purpose of it all.   It has also made me appreciate the people who truly hold love in their heart for others.  And it's very simple, yes, we must give love, but we have to receive it as well. Oh, the hypocrisy that lies within us.

Christians who look to psychics.  Who need proof when the bible is derived up of one major thing.  Faith.  Faith is believing in something without proof through seeing, hearing or touching.  In the bible it is quoted by God and Jesus many times that your word is good enough.  Yet, within the church, this is never the case, and with Christians they spend more time trying to explain themselves than just doing.  Most men have not experienced enough hardship in their life to know the difference between East and West, North and South.  We hide behind the excuse of ignorance.

Oh, how a man says "My thoughts are with you." Yes, a figure of speech, but how arrogant are you to say that your thoughts are important.  People who say, we're praying for you, but don't understand the concept that God has to choose to answer the prayer. Without words and actions, your thoughts are meaningless, they are self serving.  And maybe God doesn't answer a prayer because He understands what we don't, or choose not to: knowing that the person who is simply praying has it within their power to save another life by one simple act.  And yes, what I am saying is people suffer, not only because of others and what they do, but because of what they don't do.. And biblically this is a constant that God allows to happen, or causes.  Doctors who tell you you have a life threatening brain tumor, but your insurance may not cover this, so hit the road.  People who have paid taxes for 70 years and the government says screw your pension, it's either food or medicine.  The celebrity says that I busted my ass to get in shape for this role and it's the hardest thing I've ever done and then I made 75 million dollars this year from it.

Musicians that are filled in this world, that are of this world who are literally children who have no idea what they are talking about.  A 22 year old has no understanding of real love.  Who has been singing for three years and then get their break; they have no understanding of struggle. That's why they all end up in rehab and jail.  When Ed Sheeran makes a documentary  and a person goes crazy over the fact that he acknowledged their existence.

I have put several songs out on Youtube and they're all shit.  They were all while I was sick.  There is a certain sound that I prefer;this would be the sound that I have worked for for years, the sound of my cousin SRV, but very few people have heard. This is very frustrating.  And I'm amazed how people consider what I consider the worst of my sounds as being the best.  How in life we have to do our best to finish something. The last time I tried to finish up my album I collapsed and went into a coma. So for the vocal parts, as I can not sing as of right now, and I will tell you again that I have the most powerful voice of any person that has ever existed.  My wife, who has an angelic voice, I  have decided she would do the vocals that I could not do.  It's called adaptation.

Getting back to the documentary.  I have found that the people who question God's existence and their own faith have the right to do so, because without doubt there is no reason for faith.  I have seen that the people who are the most blessed, but consider themselves lucky, as if there were such a thing as luck (just in horseshoes and hand grenades my friend) choose not to believe because of what is happening to other people.  Meaning how ugly the world is.  But sit on their lazy ass.  Will spend one million dollars on a car, but won't spend $10 to give someone a meal or make a call to their surgeon to give someone else medical care.

Doctors are not all created the same.  One doctor can do in 5 minutes what another doctor can not do at all.   Sure, we could all take on the case, the life of another person to simply open up our hearts and minds to learn, but that would be too difficult.  It comes down to power, title, clout, fame, money, and most importantly voice.  If you are mute and are hurt, you can not scream for help.    That is what it is like for those who are not valued as having a life worth living.

I have seen through this documentary that people will get themselves involved in your business for no other reason than they are so lonely and lost that they only can survive through drama.  I have several celebrities try to get out of the documentary as I had shown then, or rather my staff had, the results of the Q & A.  Fortunately, I have great lawyers and they signed contracts.  I am also doing something different in my documentary to show that there is no out of context.  I am putting in the corner of the film timestamps when I deem them relevant so that people know that what they are hearing or seeing is not being altered or edited.   I believe that our government will have to do something after this documentary.  And what will be amazing to see, if people spend more time defending their actions and comments for their lack of caring and remorse than simply get on up and start taking care of business.  When the everyday man has to explain themselves to everyone in order to get help, releasing personal information.  And the celebrity does so on purpose, then complains as if it wasn't a publicity stunt and finds that they must comment on every aspect of their life and what every person says about them.  Why take the time to defend yourself when you did nothing wrong and there is no guilt to be had? And it always comes down to deflection of blame.  But living in this world, this is the truth. They do so when they feel that they are becoming irrelevant to society.  So the publicist maneuvers to create controversy for the specific  motive of bringing attention and relevance back to a celebrity.This will be shown in my documentary many times over.  You will truly see the difference on how people look at each other and this world.

I also will show you something very interesting.  It is called experimental studies.  How this has become a foundation in the medical community of the hoops that people must be dragged through before they can even get an MRI.  In small communities people must go through a myriad of tests, spending hundreds of thousands of dollars before they can get the best test such as an MRI which would be cheaper and more efficient and they would find out all the information they needed with that one test. We brought in hidden cameras and audio recorders into hospitals for emergency room visits.  As a person has a right to document this in these ways.  Doctors would refuse treatment if they did so.

Many people have experienced this.  We know it's happening, but we've turned a blind eye.  I had come up with this idea long before I became seriously ill, it's just the fact that because of my illness it has become more relevant and prevalent to bring this to people's attention. I thought there could be quite a bit of controversy when this comes out; then I realize there won't be, because it would be detouring from this horror that people are going through.

In ending we have lost the ability to talk plainly.  We have forgotten our elders' quips, cliches, advice.  The fact is is that everybody wants to be a martyr, but nobody wants to create martyrdom for others. Hence, no controversy.  Leaving you with this: With great power comes great responsibility.  Yet, somehow, with great power,  the world does not hold us responsible as we do not hold ourselves so.   Because we only consider people irresponsible when they live in the fantasy world of others; of some how the fact they do not contribute to society when the truth is is that society has not contributed to them.

Until next time. Take Care.

Post Script: I will be sharing more anecdotes and I will continue on about experimental studies.  I have been used as a guinea pig. You will find the advances we have made in technology but will not use.  You will find on what many diseases are caused by, but are not known throughout the medical community.  I always made a joke that it is said that we use only 10% of our brain, which means there is a 90% chance that we are wrong.  It has been found within myself that I use around 27% of my brain and how this affects my physical health and that using more than this is impossible because you can not sustain life.  But I will let the story through the documentary do the telling.  And on one last personal note: I had video taped and audio taped, but I suppose using the word taped is an old reference, my family.  And I did so to show that our own families can be the worst thing that have ever happened to us.  You will be mortified.  This is my reality and this is something you could not make up which is why all of these things had to be documented.    Thank you again for your time.

"This documentary is not to discourage.  Through realization comes revelation. Without understanding tragedy we can not have hope and achieve triumph.  A purpose that is served through recognition of horror is the only true way for a purpose to be great, because the outcome is that miracles do happen. But we must understand that a miracle can come from one man to another.  For one man it may be something small, but for another it is not only large, but greatness comes from resolution that turns into revolution. So simply speaking in plain talk: please do not sell yourself short or others.  We determine our own level of involvement in the helping of others.  It is not a burden, it is our duty and responsibility.  As no one achieves anything great alone, and never will, that is reserved only for bad."

~Joshua Jet Vaughan~

SRV and DT Anecdote

Soon there will be a new post that was sent to us by our founder Joshua Jet Vaughan.  It is an anecdote about Stevie Ray Vaughan and Double Trouble that you will NOT want to miss out on!!!!

~The GSET Team

Coming Soon

Very soon there will be more posts coming from our founder Joshua Jet Vaughan. If you have enjoyed his posts, you will not want to miss these new ones. You will find yourself intrigued, in awe, and in disbelief.

Happy 4th of July to all, and at the request of our founder, here is a song for you to enjoy. Take it as you will.

From the GSET Team.

Dirty Hands

There's nothing that can replace hard work. 

Personal Thought

We as people have many different moods. Changing from moment to moment. We must not censor ourselves, or be so easily offended. Sensitivity is a good thing.  It becomes great when it is used to benefit the hearts of others.  This is how we find balance. Without balance, we have not yet achieved responsibility.  Our responsibility to ourselves is to be responsible for others.  In today's world we have lost a sense of humor.  We have lost the ability to forgive or put ourselves in another man's shoes.  We pick and choose who is important to us and most of the time, this decision is based upon fear.  Many times in movies, fear is addressed as a good thing. I disagree.  It restricts us from natural growth.  Growth in our humanity.

 Through my health issues I have learned many things, first, I find myself in a place where I can not stand using the word things.  Yet, many times simplicity is better. To cause another man fear is to cause another man harm.  To live within fear ourselves we accomplish nothing.  Righteousness is an absolute gift, but just like everything else must be chosen.  And most importantly must be applied.  I have seen people who need validation and they achieve this by bullying, lying, deceiving, by trying to intimidate.  Many of these people come in the form of police officers and doctors.  They take an oath to save and protect lives.  But they hide behind the power that is given them to destroy.  To take away safety, to take away lives.  Most of the time, just because they can.

We live in the world of guilty before innocence.  I have experienced this many times and both my wife and I are, as of this moment.  We forget about the sayings that we were taught as children.  Two wrongs don't make a right.  Yet, we hold on to the ignorance of sayings such as where there's smoke there's fire. This is a world that I don't want to live in, but it is a world that I do. It is something that we as people, if we join together, have the ability to stop and change.  I have found the words and actions of others horrifying.  Is it really the strong that prey on the sick and weak? Or is it the weak that do so? My definition of becoming a man and growing as a man is to forgive those.

 But sometimes in life, as I believe no one has ever went a lifetime without experiencing this corruption.  We find ourselves living in fear without control or power.  Misinterpretation is one of the greatest tragedies of this world.

Take it as you will, but I will give you an example, as I will paraphrase.  As people, it is our responsibility to plant seeds. The person or persons we are doing this for, it is their responsibility to accept that gift, to tend to their crops, their heart their spirit, and to grow.  A misinterpretation: Tooth for a tooth, an eye for an eye.  And simply as humans we decide to leave this as just that.  Yet that is not how the statement ends.  Again paraphrasing: A tooth for a tooth, an eye for an eye, only a man that lives his life foolishly lives by this path.  Without it being taken in it's full context the message is lost as we manipulate whatever we want to achieve our own answers that benefit us and us alone.

As people we must remove fear from our lives.  To achieve this we must not put fear on another man or let them put it on us.  Today's world there are so many foundations that represent this same exact thing.  As we overlook the obvious and what is in the dark is left in the dark.  It is our responsibility to bring light to all of these problems.

I heard recently that they are choosing a woman to be on the ten dollar bill.  The uproar was quite chaotic.  Does it really matter? Is this really the affirmation or validation that we need? Does it change anything? How fickle we are.  My wife and I were talking about this.  Of course, it is obvious that women were not allowed to have a voice, but is that a choice?  When looking through history, is there a woman that had set themselves apart, that without their words and actions the world may be different than we know today, and of course I mean worse?  And my wife and I came to the conclusion of Rosa Parks.  A woman who did not live her life in fear.  And because of her, this generation's life and world is completely different, and proof that one simple action can change the world for the better for all generations to come.

At some point and time, no matter what our race, we are all minorities.  But what we do as human beings, when righteous, creates a majority.  Most of us have went through the exact same things as the person we may or may not know that is standing right next to us.  Yet somehow, through our rose colored glasses, we say we are different.  The only difference between us and the person standing next to us are the people along the way that change one of these person's life for the better. I am a fighter.  And no, I don't mean literally in violence.  I am a fighter of all things righteous.  I have been fighting for my life for over 15 years.  For some reason, my heart is still beating.  As I've said before, I doubt there are few people that can relate to what I have been through and what I am going through. But that does not mean it is unrelatable.

The word comprehension is lost. It is lost through ignorance.  It is lost through selfishness.  To comprehend is to understand. Do we even take the time to do this?  Do we live in ourself to understand only those things that reflect our lives, that affect our lives, that we are interested in? How could we not be interested in all aspects of humanity?

I have seen people be so jaded, but if hardship comes knocking on a person's door; we overlook as that hardship may have fallen on us just the day before.  Is there not enough time in this world?  Is that not what we were given? There is always enough time.  We find time for what we want, but can we find time for what others need?

A simple kind word.  A small gesture. That could turn into something so large and remarkable, that the snowball effect becomes unparalleled.  I have never found myself lost in the confusion of the difference between right and wrong.  But I have found myself confused by those who are lost in their ability to determine between right and wrong.

So I ask you to think of this: We always know the difference between right and wrong.  There is no gray area in this.  The only time we ever find a gray area is when it applies to us and us alone.  To an individual.  We become lost in he said she said.  We interfere in lives, involving ourself in something that we have no business doing so.  Yet, we idly stand by and watch the destruction of another man because it's none of our business.  This contradiction does not go overlooked.  It's just overpassed.  And to rephrase that we simply pass over.

Those who are sick that can not get medical treatment.  Those who are innocent of crime, but have no legal representation.  This world has been filled with title, fame and money, as the only result of this means to an end is safety.  Safety of physical persecution.  Many of the greatest men to ever walk this earth, had to endure trials and tribulations that we can not possibly fathom.  And many of them had not a dollar to their name.

So please do not take your health or freedom for granted.  Please help those that do not have the ability to get themselves out of a mess that someone else created for them.  An olive branch.  A helping hand.  In my 40 years on this planet, to say the least my life has been tragic.  I have seen the ugliness of this world, but more importantly the ugliness of man.  We often validate ourselves by the power and control that we hold over others.  This has nothing to do with fairness.  This has to do with righteousness or the lack thereof.

Soon I will be sharing a story that will make you understand exactly what I am saying.  A story about my life, about my wife's.  We do not live separate lives, it is our life.  This is something that we have chosen.  The responsibility of another is never overlooked.  Without responsibility, there can be no such thing as love.  It is a very overused word.  As the meaning behind it is determined by each individual.  It is used to make a person look or sound better. When the definition of love for a person is to just be better. It's the only thing that could drive you to do so.

So as I stated; I will be sharing a story shortly.  I have learned that my life unfolds, not just by my own choices, but by the choices of man; the purpose given to me by God.  My destiny that ultimately aligns me with another.  I have seen passiveness, aggressiveness, passive-aggressiveness.   But very seldom have I seen assertiveness, conviction.  We are our own worst enemy.  And in this case, the enemy of my enemy can not be my friend.  With my last question, not only to all of you, but to myself: when something happens so bad caused by man, how could another man help you?  Within this lies fear.  So of course, it comes down to simply God.

In our situation, I will do something openly that I have never done openly.  I have always believed my faith is enough.  But I am asking God to reach down and save myself and my family.  I have been a faithful servant of the Lord since I could remember.  I have believed in my healing; as without this my purpose would be lost and my existence would be in vain.  This is not a proclamation, this is an expectation.  Please do not lose faith in God or each other.  Believe me when I tell you, as I speak the truth, that there is always someone that is going through something that can not be comprehended.  But this is because of their lack of faith and discernment.  Not for God.  Not for other men, but within themselves.  Definition Ignorance.

Take Care and God Bless.


~Joshua Jet Vaughan~


Post Script: I have been called or deemed a warrior, a fighter, a man possessing infinite grace, patience, wisdom, conviction, forgiveness, sympathy, empathy, and I could go on.  I have had people call me an angel, metaphorically and literally.  All of these would be considered great.  All incredible virtues.  I am very hardened, very tough, I am what you would call old school.  A man's man.  We truly can not understand ourself, or others if we have not had a gift taken away.  If it is by our own doing, we still deserve compassion.  If it is by another man's, we deserve redemption.

Through my hardships, because of my health or lack thereof, in my heart, I have been treated with disrespect to that of a child.  Because my health issues are so prominent, I struggle with the battle to walk tall.  As simply, I am broken.  Many times in my life, people have referred to me as being insatiably nice/kind.  In my youth, I had an easier time expressing my appreciation to others and then I went through these unbelievable trials.  For some time I had lost that.  When I met my wife, I had learned or rather was taught, how to speak through my heart again.

I find men having a very difficult time showing appreciation to others in a proper manner, as somehow this can make a man feel less than, not only the man speaking, the man listening, creating a loss of comfort and becoming unresponsive, almost being ashamed.  To be a man, we must be open.  We must be confident.  We must walk softly and speak to others with generosity. My father is an example of the opposite of this.  He is degrading, temperamental, irresponsible.  My mother is the same.  Yet, these two people were the ones that taught me how to grow up and be a man.

I don't know if somewhere along the lines they lost their way, or they had just never found it, and to put it simply were faking it, based upon what they had seen their parents do.  My father is very degrading and disrespectful, very loud and obnoxious, very rude.  He cares nothing of anyone else.  Complains like an infant.  And anything that he does for you, even if not asked, he will hold over your head.  He is 62 years old, soon to be 63.  Because I have seen this, that is one of the realizations that has come upon me to understand that who we are is a choice.  To have dreams and goals, aspirations. To believe in a better future.  This allows us to look back in retrospect, reflect, to grow and change and to give humility, because humility is an incredible gift.

In today's world, speaking our heart is somehow considered feminine and weak. It is nothing of the sort. This stems from love and humility.  I speak of men specifically feeling uncomfortable with soft words.  When I was growing up, if you spoke softly to another male, you would be called gay, or a homo.  We don't use these words like we used to, but we feel just the same. But we must learn how to be all things to all men.  Maybe, just maybe, if we spoke more openly about our heart, through our heart, we could change this type of behavior.  There are so many contradictions.  A woman wants a sensitive man, but also a tough guy.  She wants to be spoken to in a lovely manner, with appreciation and respect.  Men want the same thing.

Compliments are not what I am talking about.  I have always taken compliments with a grain of salt.  They are usually only beneficial to the person speaking them.  But I believe we know the difference when we are paid a true compliment.  This is called discernment.

So it comes back to comprehension and accountability.  To be able to understand and comprehend a man's heart, to be able to speak accordingly, and be able to speak righteously or soundly without judgment or condemnation that we are lacking in our manhood.  If being a man means being shut off, unresponsive, vocalizing our feelings through anger, aggression, through intimidation, so we can feel better about ourselves; being loud has nothing to do with conviction.  No man speaks just one way.  He adapts to the people around him. Holding onto his own character, but understanding the individuals that he is talking to.

Politics is an example of this.  It is juvenile at best.  As I see the presidential candidates come about; they talk as if they know so much, yet they know nothing.  Giving false hope by phrasing their words, by adjusting their facial expressions, so that they can convince others to believe in them.  We all see through lies and ignorance.  Yet, we choose to overlook it and believe what is coming out of their mouth.  When we open up our hearts, we must open up our hearts to everyone.

Every man has an enemy, and every man is an enemy.  Yet, we were not born of this.  Speak softly, but with conviction.  Do your best to make people think, but allow them enough information to come to their own conclusion and make their own decision.  And lastly, let them know who you are through your words and actions that stem through the heart so we can know each other.  And to do this, there is only one way: to know who we are in Christ. Whether you are in a crisis of faith, or simply a crisis, the old saying, the old biblical verse, the hymn: I was lost, but now am found.  Even those who are found, many times become lost.  We must find out way back and help others to do just the same.



There can not be revolution without resolution.

Family of BlackHawks

Because the Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup, I have decided to share an anecdote. Though most of my long winded anecdotes don't get read, I have nothing to lose. As far as life is concerned, I have had many people in my family that have reached quite a level of success, but I have found there is always a story behind every man's journey.
I have three cousins that were and are exceptional hockey players. Two of them were chosen for the 1980 Olympics in hockey. Kurt and Adam. Brothers none the less, but two different ways of life. Unfortunately, the United States boycotted the 1980 Olympics as now my cousins can not live their life long dream. Instead of waiting for the next Olympics to come around, as they lived in Chicago they were drafted and played for the Chicago Blackhawks.

Before this happened, my cousin Kurt worked in heating and cooling. My cousin Adam was a drug dealer. Both of them made the team, and both of them started for the Blackhawks for several years.

My cousin Kurt had gotten injured during a game. He had taken a year off for rehabilitation and played for several more years in Chicago's minor league hockey team. Eventually retiring as he enjoyed the outdoors moving to Montana. Yet, still having a home in Chicago.

My cousin Adam on the other hand, who I must add both had a very privileged upbringing, not only sold drugs, but used them as well. My Aunt Sue, who loved her sons tremendously, aided my cousin Adam in his absconsion of the law. Adam moved to Florida. One day Adam was driving. He got pulled over. He did not have his license on him. So he said that he was his brother Kurt. The police officer was an incredible Chicago Blackhawks fan, originally being from there. And remembered Kurt as a player. But the officer had to do his job. So he was arrested for driving without a license. As this was about 20 years ago, it took quite some time through fingerprinting to get back a person's identity. My cousin, Adam, was let go as being my cousin Kurt. He was on the lam for ten years and one of the FBI's most wanted. Though the amount of drugs that he was originally caught with would not be a big deal today, 20 years ago Nancy Reagan had started the war on drugs. With the help of his mother, my Aunt Sue, who had wealth beyond reason, my cousin Adam turned himself in and did his bid. Now living his life helping others and coaching a hockey team in Chicago. So this story contains riches to riches, privileged to greatness, and the difference between a man who appreciated what he was blessed with and one that did not. But as they had started out in the same place, coming full circle, they are living identical lives as they did as boys...

Previously in my anecdote I had mentioned a third brother that was incredible in the sport of hockey. As I was telling my father how I had shared the story, he had reminded me some of the story that I had forgotten, so here it goes.

My uncle Richard, who for some reason preferred to be called Dick, played alongside the great Bobby Hull and they were best friends. This is how my three cousins had been groomed into the sport of hockey. The cousin that I had left out is my cousin Kyle. Kyle was one of the greatest prospects ever in the history of hockey. And it has been suggested that he would have been one of the greatest hockey players of all time as he also played for the Chicago Blackhawks. It is very rare for three siblings to play for the same team. But because of my uncle they were already considered hockey royalty. Though this story was easily forgotten, because it is not often talked about. The reason for this is that my cousin Kyle had been injured so severely that not only could he not ever play hockey again, he almost lost his ability to walk.

But still the experience must have been amazing as of course it is tragic. My cousin Kyle and I were very close. I have not seen him in many years. Just a couple years ago he came to visit. I was not doing very well, but my wife had the opportunity to meet him. She had told me that he was raving about me as I am a very large man and the last he had remembered of me I was healthy and in incredible shape and LOVED to eat. Of course it was for the purpose of putting on muscle, but I also enjoyed putting down four or five extra large pizzas as well. Before you get ahead of yourself, I was carrying a 32" waist.

My wife, Anna Bella Vaughan, said he was tremendously overweight and reeking of alcohol. Yet, jolly as Santa Clause. I had missed the opportunity due to my health. But as I have a page called The Greatest Stories Ever Told as I believe/know everyone has an incredible story, I believe this and my other anecdote about Kurt and Adam would be an example of this. In ending, Kyle had said to my wife laughing, "I sure hope you're a good cook, cause Joshua LOooooooves to eat."

~Joshua Jet Vaughan~

Intensity through Love and Passion- Music

While very ill and going through chemotherapy it had been years since I had picked up the guitar.  I was in the studio, warming up my fingers, I was weak, in intense pain, my brain was disconnected.  And even though my heart was dulled, I find myself needing to record.  While warming up, I was playing through one of my amps, which is a Peavey Windsor 100w Tube Head with a 4x12 speaker cab.  Using only a tube screamer pedal. (This amp has no effects, including reverb, so I love to warm up with it because of the challenge it is to get the sound that I am looking for.  The sound that I have found with other equipment.  It's like playing basketball and using an old bicycle rim for the basketball hoop.) My preferred amp is a 60w in 38w out Peavey Delta Blues with 1 15" speaker using several pedals.

My wife had recorded me on her smartphone.  I was using a 1970's reissue fat strat with a rosewood fretboard.  My strings were 12, 16, 19, 28, 38, 56.  Though my hands were cramping and usually the music flows through me without thinking, because of my health I was having trouble.  Eventually, this landed me in the hospital.  So to my former post that no man can play with the intensity or passion of my cousin Stevie for more than 30 seconds, a statement made by one particular musician, this is my response to him.






~Joshua Jet Vaughan~

Joshua's Joys- My cousin SRV anecdote

My heritage is of this: Just like most I am a mutt.  My wife, however, is a purebred.  Born in South Korea.  The story of my birth is quite interesting, but that is not the anecdote that I will share.  Most of my family, comes by way of Wales.  When coming over to the United States, as with most immigrants, names were changed throughout the years.  As I like to honor my family's name, or in this case names, I will state you the changes that have been made throughout the hundreds of years.  This has made my understanding of my ancestors' to be very confusing.  Before my grandfather, on my father's side, had passed, I had been given much information about my heritage from him.  I also had the great honor of knowing my great grandmother into my 20s.

 My surnames have included Zobel, Yetikevich, Jurkeweicsz, Conway, Davis, Barr, Smith and Vaughan coming by way of Israel to Poland to the United States.  This would be my Jewish/Polish side.  I am also black and part Native American Indian.  I do not state African American because there is no way to track my ancestry to Africa.  And then there is my Welsh side.  Vaughan is a Welsh name.  But all the names were changed several times within Europe and then changed again several times when my ancestors immigrated to the United States including myself.  So getting to the story about SRV:

I have many relatives in the city of Chicago.  They are Welsh.  But since a large amount settled and still live in Chicago, many of them married Italians.  Because this anecdote involves my Italian cousin who has an odd Italian name, I felt it necessary to state this.  His first name is Deano.  No his legal name is not Dean and we add the O, it is legally Deano.   Now that he's in his 50's, how odd it must be having this name.

Throughout my youth I had always felt as if something was missing.  I used to have these dreams/daydreams about holding a guitar.  Though my family came from music, back to my great aunt singing with Frank Sinatra and the Rat Pack, all the way to the great Stevie Ray Vaughan, my life was revolved around sports. When I was 7 years old, I went to visit my family in Chicago.  I was favored amongst my cousins and treated quite well.  As we were vacationing there for around two weeks, my cousin Deano was and is a very wealthy and is still a quite spontaneous man.

He owns a Think Tank creating ideas for major companies such as Apple.  Though it took a few days, he had convinced my parents to allow me to go to Austin, Texas with him.  Though a road trip would have been fun, as a 7 year old, I don't think this is something my cousin Deano would wanted to undertake.  Because of his company, he had access to a private jet.  I was excited, yet nervous, for the first time being able to fly as one of my dreams was to be a fighter pilot.  My cousin, Deano, wanted to culture me in the greatest music of all, the blues.

I have always been particular to the blues, but really had  not understood the genres of music.  Little did I know, Deano had taken me there to also introduce me to a long lost cousin.  Though I can not remember the name of the bar, as I was very young, one day in the afternoon, Deano took me to a bar to get lunch.  On the stage was a man sitting in a chair with his feet propped up on another chair, his hat was tilted downward and he was playing guitar.  I did not know it at the time until getting into music later in life what guitar he was playing.  As we listened for 45 minutes, my cousin Deano had grabbed a drink from the bar and asked me to walk up to the man playing the blues on stage.  It was none other than Stevie Ray Vaughan.

Deano said, I want to introduce you to your cousin.  And then I was introduced to SRV.

Of course, I simply called him Cousin Stevie.  As he put his guitar in his case, downed the drink my cousin Deano had bought for him, the three of us had taken a walk.  Cousin Stevie was kind and gentle.  Humble and timid.  Was very respectful, but also very convicted.  We had walked around the city of Austin.  I was introduced to many people.  Later that evening I went to meet the rest of my family.  Stevie's family.  I was very nervous, not because of my cousin Stevie, as I had no idea of who he was other than my cousin, but the fact that I was timid myself, especially around new people, though they made me feel at home.

I have always been an honest person, but for some reason I had felt ashamed when asked a question.  Stevie had asked me if I had a guitar.  As he had jammed a little bit and let me play his.  Though I'm sure what I was playing, as I knew nothing of music, was horrifying.  When asked, I said yes I do.  He had offered to give me an old electric and/or acoustic saying I could pick.  I did not accept at this time.  Later that night Stevie had a gig and I was allowed in the bar despite my age to watch because I was his cousin.  Though I loved the music, the atmosphere was what I drowned myself in.

Skipping ahead, many years later and around the age of 21, I had picked up the guitar.  As I stated, I was involved in sports, that was my passion.  Before picking up the guitar I had three influences. Keb'Mo.  Eric Clapton. And eventually my cousin Stevie Ray.  What's interesting within this story is that I had no conception of who my cousin was.  When I heard Eric Clapton play "Before You Accuse Me" electrically and then did some research as he was coming out with his "From the Cradle" blues album, I was hooked.

Unfortunately, at this time, my cousin Stevie had passed a few years prior. I had seen him several more times before his passing.  I had learned a great deal from this on how we overlook those within our family that are the closest to us.  I don't believe it's because we don't appreciate them or that we're so selfish within our own lives.  For me, I believe it's because I looked at him as my cousin, not as the great SRV.  I had built a good relationship with him.  But unfortunately, through most of his life, he had suffered from drug abuse and alcoholism.

The last time I had seen him was in 1989, when he played at Austin City Limits.  This is when I had realized what guitar he was playing a decade earlier.  This guitar was his number one, the famous Fender Strat.  Stevie had said that he had over 200 necks replaced on the body of the guitar, but he also had several different bodies for it. Then there was the time I finally took the gift.  A multi-piece SRV number one, or in this case maybe number 151, guitar.  Finally, I had bought one of his CDs.  It was a remastered version of his greatest hits.  I was blown away.

Though it took me about another year to really appreciate what he was doing and what he would have accomplished through his music if not for the horrible circumstances causing his death.  Though I had an inside track on how he had gotten his sound. It had taken me years, as this was the sound that I wanted.  But to take it to the next level to accomplish this.  Though the equipment is a huge part of it, it is the technique and intensity that must be possessed.  I was given the same gift as my cousin was.  Unfortunately, my health has not allowed for many to see this gift, much less to even hear it.  I have done most of my playing live, and there are very few recordings of me.  Vocally, I have exceeded almost everybody.  Musically, I am the only person that can be and has been legitimately compared to my own cousin.  Throughout the years I have developed my own style as well, as when I came into my own, I had taken music to a new level.

The day that I am better is the day that this will be understood.  Without having Stevie musically, but also as my cousin, I would not have been able to achieve this.  So this is a great joy and anecdote, but there is a lesson to be learned here.  Whether we are youthful, whether we are getting up in years, we must stop and take the time to appreciate everyone, especially those that are closest to us. If we don't, life will pass us by and we will lose out on so much if we do not seize these gifts.

If Stevie wasn't Stevie, would I or anyone else appreciate him for who he was and what he has left behind?  If he was simply my cousin, but had never reached the level of success he did, if he never died, would he have had the influence on so many that he has now?  And is this something that he wondered, being such a gentle, humble soul, when alive?

When our hearts are full of love and we are contributing with the gifts that we have been given by God, we will be filled with our purpose to share with others.  It is very difficult to be sycophantic to your relative.  But it seems to be very easy to pass on by not only their gifts and talents but their love, as we expect it to go on forever.

Due to my health, it has made me question a lot of different variables.  Would my life be different today, would I even be sick if I had looked at life in this way, the way that I am asking you to look at it?  The way that I now see clear as day?  So this may be silly, but don't live your life in overcast.  Not only appreciate the beauty of everyone, but look for it.  Let it shine through.

As with many of my relatives that have passed early, again, I wonder how my life would be different if they were still alive.  The ones that have the great heart like my cousin Stevie. The great hearts that I have inherited.  And I surely do not want to pass without giving the gift that I have been given, but did not understand until it was too late.  And as far as the people who loved my cousin, no, I will not sell you or give you that guitar.  That is special to me.  But I'm sure all of you have been given something in equivalence.  Thank you so kindly for listening.  And God Bless you all.

~Joshua Jet Vaughan~


Post Script: Another statement that I make is that to lead we must follow and to follow we must lead.  Stevie was and is a leader.  Understanding this concept through his faith of God and his discernment.  Though we are similar in many ways, of course, I am my own man.  So again, I would be remiss if I did not add in Chris Layton, Tommy Shannon, and eventually Reese Wymans.  These men are an example of what I have just stated. The way they valued each other and, of course, Stevie.  This is a perfect example of my saying to lead we must follow; to follow we must lead.

As many Stevie fans watch his live videos, they can see how his band simply sits back  as Stevie takes the lead.  But without their support, without the love they had for one another, the way that this would have affected them as men and as friends would have not allowed for the music that we love and enjoy from Stevie Ray Vaughan and Double Trouble today.  Each man knew their place, as music, great music, that changed lives and is still changing them for the better was and is the goal, as today everyone wants to be their own "rockstar" dividing bands and music which is why music has no soul or life and nothing to give anymore.

To me this is an example of an appreciation for the love of friendship and family.  As family comes in all different forms as well as friendship.   Recently, my wife and I had attended the 2015 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction.  As I was to play, because of my current health and just being released from the hospital, I was not capable.  When inducted, the tears were flowing from everyone.  SRV and Double Trouble's induction was the greatest moment of this evening.

I had asked Chris what it was like and though I don't feel comfortable sharing his personal feelings without permission I will say that what he stated is exactly what you would believe he felt.  On a personal note, though it was a great ceremony, I was very disappointed with the people that were chosen to play Pride and Joy and Texas Flood.  Because he was and is my cousin, I feel that I not only have the right, but the responsibility to state my opinion on this. It was lackluster at best.  And frankly I was somewhat embarrassed.  There is a particular person who was playing and before I state this, obviously  none of this has to do with my cousin Jimmy or Double Trouble, the other artists that were chosen to play, specifically one, who I will not name, are a disappointment.

This one person, I am not speaking just about their musical ability, I am speaking of his personality.  He often goes on record stating that no one has ever had or will ever have the ability to play with the same passion or intensity that Stevie did.  Not only is this a comment made out of ignorance for his own inadequacies.  It is a comment that I believe my cousin Stevie would be appalled by.

Though he might be under the delusion that he is giving a compliment, he is taking away from all the other musicians that have been influenced by SRV, that have spent night and day with the same passion, the intensity that Stevie had, but simply have not been heard yet.  He is not understanding that because of Stevie, this has allowed people to take their music to the next level.  Just as the same could be said by Stevie himself for his musical influences.  Without those people, Stevie would not be what we know him to be musically or personally as a man.

Yes, him being my cousin has made me work to learn every song that he has ever recorded note for note, with the same phrasing, intensity and emotion.  With my Strat and simply playing any amp with just a tube screamer, with my massive strings, so high off the fret board, I have taken what Stevie has done and he has empowered me with a passion and love to play my music and of course his, with the respect of doing him justice.

Of course, without SRV, could this be possible?

Maybe, maybe not.

But this does not apply because Stevie was and is an influence to every musician.  And to every heart.  This musician that states otherwise does not understand the gift that he has been given from SRV.  And personally knowing this man, I believe that is his ego and lack of passion and love that made him state this selfish comment. When I listen to songs like Tightrope, or Texas Flood, or Pride and Joy, and then I listen to a song that is a sell out at it's best, as an example, Your Body Is A Wonderland, I feel no need to go on as I believe I have proven my point.

So all you musicians who are playing with the gift of intensity and passion, keep doing so.  Listen to the men like Stevie who encourage you to go after it, to be an open channel, and never make statements to restrict others or put them in a box, as this would be considered discouragement.  And personally, we must always try to surpass the greats that came before us within our own styles of music and personality.  Because of the respect that we have for what they have passed on to us.  Thank you my cousin Stevie Ray Vaughan and his incredible band Double Trouble, for the blessing you have given me and the rest of the world.  Remember, music grows and breathes and loves, just as we do.

Real Life Angel 0.5- Joshua's Insight

In my youth, there were many signs that I would have health issues to the degree that I have now, but were overlooked.  As far as parents/family are concerned, some of the problems that I had endured throughout my young years should have been noticed and acknowledged as they were quite abnormal.  But in these years, you assume these are natural occurring events.  We all have aches and pains and many of us deal with some type of health issue throughout our life.

Being an All American athlete in four sports, though basketball was my passion in my youth, when I went to college, ultimately football was the sport I chose to play. When deciding a major, while attending the University of Michigan, I decided on Medicine.  My minor was in theology.  By the time I was attending college, the emphasis of God and Christianity was sorely lacking in this field.  As I accepted Christ at the age of eight, I had had an understanding through the years of having a wonderful doctor, until he died when I was at the age of twenty two, of how faith and medicine go together.

I graduated very early from medical school.  Did my residency, and practiced medicine for two years. During this time I had received a calling.  That calling was and is music.  I also had seen the corruption in medicine and knowing that I would make a career out of music that financially would be quite beneficial, not only to myself but to others as well; I had realized that my degree, my understanding of medicine and through the financial means that I had attained through music, I would be able to help those in need moreso than I could ever do as a personal doctor.

As I have gotten quite ill and have been mistreated throughout the years medically, it has taken away many of my gifts and normal every day activity.  I have had several opportunities to sue for malpractice.  My heart has always detoured me from this course of action. I have always had so much faith, I have believed that God would take care of this. As I can not understand His way of doing things, for I am not God, I left this in His hands.  Throughout the years I have realized that the simple kinetic energy that builds from good words and actions snowball effects a hundred times more severely with bad words and actions.

When dealing with someone's health there comes a time where you reflect through the years and as  you look back you realize that there are many occasions where you needed to stand up.  And that yours and anyone else that is part of your life, is now dramatically affected by what I call passive behavior; which has taught me how to be convicted and assertive.  With my life being on the line and with having a wonderful wife, who as far as the world is concerned, is very young at the age of 26, I can not let what is happening to me stand any further.

As this is now not just about me, but about my family.  When people use their title to coerce, intimidate, or jeopardize a person's life, how long do we stand by and let this happen?  I have seen and been through horrible circumstances that no man should ever endure, but I believe could not endure.  As I try not to question, as most of my days are filled with horrible suffering, I become confused.  But yet, I fight with as much patience and grace as possible.

I have always lived my life honest.  Righteously.  I find it interesting that in many professions and specifically the medical profession, that malpractice to the degree of the possibility of someone losing their life is less important to the law than me leaving a message stating that you are all fucking sick, damn you, and I'm going to fucking sue.  Somehow, that has become more important as this doctor and their office have milked, playing the victim, more than I have ever experienced in my life.

I have seen throughout the years how title, money, clout, power, has allowed people to have a better quality of life.  But this is something I have not seen my entire life. As everyone's life is worth the same.  We are all human beings.  We are all valuable, not only to ourselves, but each other.  And our lives all contain the same value.  We all need the same things as everyone else does.  And health is the first.  I have learned so much in my life.  I have been given so much, as far as gifts, talents and opportunities.  I have never been able to apply this or use these opportunities to better myself or the world the way I could if I was healthy.

I have an incredible understanding of human nature.  We have all been given opportunities to better our lives and others, but do we do just that? As these opportunities are passed down from God to human hands, as people we give ourself the credit and acknowledge ourselves as the beneficiary of our own hard work.  But whether we look at it as a God given gift or done simply by ourselves there is always someone that had a part to play in our life's success.  But have we given the same in return? As time goes on I see less and less of this.  Every man deserves health.  Every man deserves help.  There is room for all of us to succeed. As we should take pride, not in ourselves for how we have helped another man, but in the opportunity we have given them to succeed themselves; hence Pay It Forward.

The contradiction that comes with me is that I have seen that money, clout, etc. may have no affect on how you are treated, yes even medically, in this world.  Though I am not shocked by what happens.  Everytime something like this does, I can not find the ability to understand it.  Ignorance is not a lack of understanding.  Ignorance is a lack of responsibility to do just this: to simply understand.

To elaborate, on the story that had been told on what happened recently with the doctor and the law, the officer who had called my home  based upon the message that I had left, and my wife's, that the doctor and his employees, had stated to the officer, were in fear for their lives.  But who should be in fear for their life?  Though my message was not threatening, other than the fact that I was going to sue, even if it were I give you this analogy: If a man is standing 100 feet from me holding a baseball bat and I threaten to harm him if he attacks me; is that a threat?  As opposed to the man who is swinging the bat and hitting me, is that a threat?  Or is that a specific action, as they are currently doing bodily harm to jeopardize my life?  So as this doctor's actions, as with all doctors, they will put a narrative (which by the way is illegal) in my medical records, not only hurting me directly from his lack of treatment, but furthering the harm by influencing the future actions of others as colleagues always stick together.  The way that people manipulate, con, and straight out lie is horrific.  Taking more time on a lie to cover their butts, than even giving the thought or having the heart to care about another human being's life.

Daily we walk by as we see this happening in our world.  And we stand by idly.  Many times the word evil is used.  Evil is often associated with television and movies. An example created in horror, derived from this media, as we all have the same conception of what evil entails. But when wrong behavior can cost another person their life, do you determine if this is ignorance derived from any basic human emotion, or do you determine that this is pure evil?

With that being said, I would like to state this.  For the last ten years the number one percentage of murderers and serial killers come from one profession: The medical profession, specifically doctors.  No I am not talking about medical malpractice.  There are two categories I am talking about.  Doctors who are so sick that they kill people while in their office or hospital overdosing them and using other means for their own pleasure to murder.  Also, in the category of murdering people outside of the office or hospital.

When talking with the officer who is a foolish man at best, and obviously had no idea who he was talking to, as his words were child-like, as even though I am very ill I still have never allowed myself to be bullied or intimidated.  This has never come through my sheer size and strength, especially when I was healthy, but through the gift of articulation throughout my words; which sometimes are followed by action.  In this situation I have found that people use bullying to validate their importance.  As something is missing in their life.  So they try to intimidate to make up for their unhappiness.  Their loneliness.  And the empty feeling that comes from having no morality or faith in anyone or anything, especially themselves.  I had told this so called officer of the law that the doctor and his employees had left several derogatory messages to me via phone/letters (which by the way makes their actions a federal offense), and as I had offered him proof, wanted nothing to do with it, as this was outside of his jurisdiction.  Yes, a contradiction within itself, asked me why would a doctor's office would do something like this or leave something like this.  My reply was as opposed to what or whom?  As I continued to state, just because they work in the medical field does not mean they are infallible and do not live in the same moral ambiguity as the rest of the world.  And because they take an oath, as the first statement in the Hippocratic oath is thou shalt not harm, when they do this, it is far more serious because of the oath than someone who is outside of the medical profession.

As far as this lowly would be officer, who is living his life passive aggressively, which does not go over on someone like me, he also had to take an oath.  And the first statement in his oath is to serve and protect.  Yet, I ask you whom is he serving and protecting?

We in life, do not get to choose who is more important, rather whose life is more important than anothers'. Most of us go through life judging.  And many years ago I learned something.  An epiphany or revelation I suppose.  We may have our opinion, but we must not place judgment.  Our opinion must be formed by gathering enough information, which usually comes through time and education, along with instinct and discernment, before we should come to a conclusion.

There's an old statement that is never used anymore.  People used to say simply before making a decision, so that it was not rash, to sleep on it.  No matter how much we know somebody, we will never be able to completely understand them, as the way they understand themselves.  Though we sure like to think otherwise and believe we know what is best for others. You may be fifty years old, and even your parents do this very thing.  But by doing so, people spend more time focusing on others and less on themselves.  They are contradicting themselves within their own words and actions. But life is about responsibility. We must hold ourselves in contempt, and take responsibility for our own actions.  Actions have always spoken louder than words.

 Somehow we have gotten to the point in life that if we wrong someone so badly and back them in a corner, that when they defend themselves, we consider them to be wrong.  We all live with instincts.  It is called discernment.  We all know the difference between right and wrong.  What I have seen in my life is that people have chosen to decide what is right and wrong based upon what is right and wrong for them and them alone.

We have the right to live our life accordingly.  But if our life choices negatively effect the lives of others, personally or from afar, to where their life could be altered so dramatically where they can lose their life, when will people find the humility to know that what they are doing is wrong? To change their ways and make it right?

Frankly, I have put how I feel about these types of incidences in a kind manner. I have learned that ranting, while having anger within your heart, not only accomplishes nothing, but turns people against you.

Though we all do it.  We must all walk softly on each other's hearts. If we don't do so, people like this doctor, this office, hence employees, and this officer, cause human beings to approach life with this attitude.  But we must not be easily offended, as each person's definition of offensiveness is left up to their own mind.  So we must learn enough about another person, as I just stated, to walk softly on their heart, but never walk around it.  The attitude of hatred and contempt, having no love, no responsibility for what they are doing.  Having none of this for any man.  Though we are not a result of our circumstance, we make this choice on our own, of our own accord.

So in ending, I put it simply: When we are in a profession to help others, the people in need, no matter what they do, no matter what you think of them, even if they have destroyed their own health, it is the helpers' responsibility to help fix and treat the problems with their health.  It is our responsibility as human beings to support those in need as I guarantee you this, there is not a person on this earth that lives their life in sickness unrighteously.  Sickness may change people in many ways.  In many negative ways.  Real sickness, untreated, suffering to the point of torture.  I have found, with myself, that hatred is one of these emotions that comes with being mistreated.  But hatred is a powerful emotion.  It drives a person to survive.  But hatred must not lie in our heart.  What must be in our heart and never contain for ourself is love.  But if we know that an action is in the category of evil, does it come down to hating the action? Yet still loving the person.  I do not believe that we can love evil.  Love is a gift to be given and accepted.  A person who lives their life doing evil should not be given this gift because it would never be accepted, and obviously would never be given back.  So as I am slightly remiss in stating this, and I know there are few who can understand it or relate; if I am to find purpose in how I've been wronged, I must do what every man does when they have an understanding about something that no one else could.  This is how we destroy hatred, anger, vindictiveness, and everything that is entailed in the destruction and unappreciation of human life.


So whether you live your life righteously or not, we must still strive for righteousness in our actions and words as we expect this from others.  We must appreciate the people who are there for us in our personal lives, but as multimedia has consumed this world, we must appreciate those in this aspect of our life, the friends that we acquire through sites like this one.  We must share the burden.

Words can change the world.  I have found that the negativity within words need no action to destroy the world.  But words with Positivity MUST need action to better the world. And in the case of what is happening to me and others, the one thing we must give is our time.  It is the most precious thing we have for we can never get it back. But when we give it, our moment of help can allow a person to live.

So I refer to a statement that I have spoken of repeatedly: Without selfishness, there is no need to be selfish, for we will always be getting what we need.  And I add this: Without humility, we will never serve the gift of responsibility.  And without responsibility, no man will attain the gift of humility.  For that's what it is.  But with all gifts, it is a choice to accept it.  As the gift of responsibility can only be handled with the humble hands of the responsible. Take Care and God Bless.

~Joshua Jet Vaughan~

Post Script: I am so fucking profound.  So I leave you with this, sensibility is derived from a sense of humor. Not a sense of doom-er.(I mean doom)  For those who do not know me, I threw out the Fbomb for a purpose.  A word that can be used for destruction to cause pain.  A noun. A verb. An adjective. Or I can use it as I have now to emphasize a point. Of course, a humorous example of arrogance not humility.  Are you in fear of your life now?  Point made. I believe enough said. Buhbye.

The Last Good Fight

Wipe away all the tears,

but you say that's all that you have.  

But it's gone on for so many years.

that you can't even remember how to laugh.

You hope that the time comes,

that your life is not just a half,

a half of belonging, of seeing,

where your flag is at half mast.

When the only thing you know,

is sorrow and pain.

Which all you ever did was grow,

amongst the degradation and shame.

As you look to the Lord,

with your love, with someone to blame

Your dignity still in store

but it can't stop the rain.

So you're held up and beat down

with no where to go.

With all the gifts bestowed upon you

yet, none of them you can show.

The fire inside of you

and an ounce of dignity intact

with all the faith that you have

you wonder who has your back.

Is it cliche to think

that the words of Truth are actually true?

Supposed to hold us together

yet there are so few.

That, understand what I'm saying,

or am I the only one?

that keeps on praying,

but the answer is none.

So you're held up and beat down

and all of your strength and grace

but on this planet created for man

there seems to be no place.

No peace, no home,

no tunnel of light

just a long wind-y road

and just blurriness of sight.

So I wind up asking

for this very last time

not what is owed or

what should be mine.

But rather what could I do

with my needs bestowed upon me

and my love for you

is all that people would see.

So lift me up

and pick me up off the ground

give me once, what I knew

along with the new man that I have found.

For the glory only goes so far

if there's no one to show.  

So please give me this

or just let me go.

So no more held up or beat down

for this is all I know

So for who you have created

please please let me show.

If peace and salvation

is not just at the end

how did I lose so much

that I cant call the father the father or even my friend

As I look at this world

and I am not proud

yet in sickness or health

I still praise your name loud

The many gifts that have been given

they were once before

you leave me with only one

and when will she be no more

So I say this to you

with all of my heart

give me back myself

and the world will see my heart.

I'll stand up and fight

and give the glory to thy name

for there's no honor in sickness

just my spirit in shame.

Like said before

the three men I admire most

the father, the son,

and the holy ghost

But the love I feel from those

I surely can not boast

So I'm still held up and beat down

with no where to go.

This confusion in my head

I hope, is not all that I will know.

so pick me up

and put your hand into mine

let me feel your grace and love

and leave all this behind.

I'm not the only one who deserves this

I'm sure others do too

but I can't think of any one else

who loves you more than I do.

by Joshua Jet Vaughan ~ For all those hurting