While very ill and going through chemotherapy it had been years since I had picked up the guitar. I was in the studio, warming up my fingers, I was weak, in intense pain, my brain was disconnected. And even though my heart was dulled, I find myself needing to record. While warming up, I was playing through one of my amps, which is a Peavey Windsor 100w Tube Head with a 4x12 speaker cab. Using only a tube screamer pedal. (This amp has no effects, including reverb, so I love to warm up with it because of the challenge it is to get the sound that I am looking for. The sound that I have found with other equipment. It's like playing basketball and using an old bicycle rim for the basketball hoop.) My preferred amp is a 60w in 38w out Peavey Delta Blues with 1 15" speaker using several pedals.
My wife had recorded me on her smartphone. I was using a 1970's reissue fat strat with a rosewood fretboard. My strings were 12, 16, 19, 28, 38, 56. Though my hands were cramping and usually the music flows through me without thinking, because of my health I was having trouble. Eventually, this landed me in the hospital. So to my former post that no man can play with the intensity or passion of my cousin Stevie for more than 30 seconds, a statement made by one particular musician, this is my response to him.
~Joshua Jet Vaughan~
The Sounds of Heaven
Friday, June 19, 2015
Joshua's Joys- My cousin SRV anecdote
My heritage is of this: Just like most I am a mutt. My wife, however, is a purebred. Born in South Korea. The story of my birth is quite interesting, but that is not the anecdote that I will share. Most of my family, comes by way of Wales. When coming over to the United States, as with most immigrants, names were changed throughout the years. As I like to honor my family's name, or in this case names, I will state you the changes that have been made throughout the hundreds of years. This has made my understanding of my ancestors' to be very confusing. Before my grandfather, on my father's side, had passed, I had been given much information about my heritage from him. I also had the great honor of knowing my great grandmother into my 20s.
My surnames have included Zobel, Yetikevich, Jurkeweicsz, Conway, Davis, Barr, Smith and Vaughan coming by way of Israel to Poland to the United States. This would be my Jewish/Polish side. I am also black and part Native American Indian. I do not state African American because there is no way to track my ancestry to Africa. And then there is my Welsh side. Vaughan is a Welsh name. But all the names were changed several times within Europe and then changed again several times when my ancestors immigrated to the United States including myself. So getting to the story about SRV:
I have many relatives in the city of Chicago. They are Welsh. But since a large amount settled and still live in Chicago, many of them married Italians. Because this anecdote involves my Italian cousin who has an odd Italian name, I felt it necessary to state this. His first name is Deano. No his legal name is not Dean and we add the O, it is legally Deano. Now that he's in his 50's, how odd it must be having this name.
Throughout my youth I had always felt as if something was missing. I used to have these dreams/daydreams about holding a guitar. Though my family came from music, back to my great aunt singing with Frank Sinatra and the Rat Pack, all the way to the great Stevie Ray Vaughan, my life was revolved around sports. When I was 7 years old, I went to visit my family in Chicago. I was favored amongst my cousins and treated quite well. As we were vacationing there for around two weeks, my cousin Deano was and is a very wealthy and is still a quite spontaneous man.
He owns a Think Tank creating ideas for major companies such as Apple. Though it took a few days, he had convinced my parents to allow me to go to Austin, Texas with him. Though a road trip would have been fun, as a 7 year old, I don't think this is something my cousin Deano would wanted to undertake. Because of his company, he had access to a private jet. I was excited, yet nervous, for the first time being able to fly as one of my dreams was to be a fighter pilot. My cousin, Deano, wanted to culture me in the greatest music of all, the blues.
I have always been particular to the blues, but really had not understood the genres of music. Little did I know, Deano had taken me there to also introduce me to a long lost cousin. Though I can not remember the name of the bar, as I was very young, one day in the afternoon, Deano took me to a bar to get lunch. On the stage was a man sitting in a chair with his feet propped up on another chair, his hat was tilted downward and he was playing guitar. I did not know it at the time until getting into music later in life what guitar he was playing. As we listened for 45 minutes, my cousin Deano had grabbed a drink from the bar and asked me to walk up to the man playing the blues on stage. It was none other than Stevie Ray Vaughan.
Deano said, I want to introduce you to your cousin. And then I was introduced to SRV.
Of course, I simply called him Cousin Stevie. As he put his guitar in his case, downed the drink my cousin Deano had bought for him, the three of us had taken a walk. Cousin Stevie was kind and gentle. Humble and timid. Was very respectful, but also very convicted. We had walked around the city of Austin. I was introduced to many people. Later that evening I went to meet the rest of my family. Stevie's family. I was very nervous, not because of my cousin Stevie, as I had no idea of who he was other than my cousin, but the fact that I was timid myself, especially around new people, though they made me feel at home.
I have always been an honest person, but for some reason I had felt ashamed when asked a question. Stevie had asked me if I had a guitar. As he had jammed a little bit and let me play his. Though I'm sure what I was playing, as I knew nothing of music, was horrifying. When asked, I said yes I do. He had offered to give me an old electric and/or acoustic saying I could pick. I did not accept at this time. Later that night Stevie had a gig and I was allowed in the bar despite my age to watch because I was his cousin. Though I loved the music, the atmosphere was what I drowned myself in.
Skipping ahead, many years later and around the age of 21, I had picked up the guitar. As I stated, I was involved in sports, that was my passion. Before picking up the guitar I had three influences. Keb'Mo. Eric Clapton. And eventually my cousin Stevie Ray. What's interesting within this story is that I had no conception of who my cousin was. When I heard Eric Clapton play "Before You Accuse Me" electrically and then did some research as he was coming out with his "From the Cradle" blues album, I was hooked.
Unfortunately, at this time, my cousin Stevie had passed a few years prior. I had seen him several more times before his passing. I had learned a great deal from this on how we overlook those within our family that are the closest to us. I don't believe it's because we don't appreciate them or that we're so selfish within our own lives. For me, I believe it's because I looked at him as my cousin, not as the great SRV. I had built a good relationship with him. But unfortunately, through most of his life, he had suffered from drug abuse and alcoholism.
The last time I had seen him was in 1989, when he played at Austin City Limits. This is when I had realized what guitar he was playing a decade earlier. This guitar was his number one, the famous Fender Strat. Stevie had said that he had over 200 necks replaced on the body of the guitar, but he also had several different bodies for it. Then there was the time I finally took the gift. A multi-piece SRV number one, or in this case maybe number 151, guitar. Finally, I had bought one of his CDs. It was a remastered version of his greatest hits. I was blown away.
Though it took me about another year to really appreciate what he was doing and what he would have accomplished through his music if not for the horrible circumstances causing his death. Though I had an inside track on how he had gotten his sound. It had taken me years, as this was the sound that I wanted. But to take it to the next level to accomplish this. Though the equipment is a huge part of it, it is the technique and intensity that must be possessed. I was given the same gift as my cousin was. Unfortunately, my health has not allowed for many to see this gift, much less to even hear it. I have done most of my playing live, and there are very few recordings of me. Vocally, I have exceeded almost everybody. Musically, I am the only person that can be and has been legitimately compared to my own cousin. Throughout the years I have developed my own style as well, as when I came into my own, I had taken music to a new level.
The day that I am better is the day that this will be understood. Without having Stevie musically, but also as my cousin, I would not have been able to achieve this. So this is a great joy and anecdote, but there is a lesson to be learned here. Whether we are youthful, whether we are getting up in years, we must stop and take the time to appreciate everyone, especially those that are closest to us. If we don't, life will pass us by and we will lose out on so much if we do not seize these gifts.
If Stevie wasn't Stevie, would I or anyone else appreciate him for who he was and what he has left behind? If he was simply my cousin, but had never reached the level of success he did, if he never died, would he have had the influence on so many that he has now? And is this something that he wondered, being such a gentle, humble soul, when alive?
When our hearts are full of love and we are contributing with the gifts that we have been given by God, we will be filled with our purpose to share with others. It is very difficult to be sycophantic to your relative. But it seems to be very easy to pass on by not only their gifts and talents but their love, as we expect it to go on forever.
Due to my health, it has made me question a lot of different variables. Would my life be different today, would I even be sick if I had looked at life in this way, the way that I am asking you to look at it? The way that I now see clear as day? So this may be silly, but don't live your life in overcast. Not only appreciate the beauty of everyone, but look for it. Let it shine through.
As with many of my relatives that have passed early, again, I wonder how my life would be different if they were still alive. The ones that have the great heart like my cousin Stevie. The great hearts that I have inherited. And I surely do not want to pass without giving the gift that I have been given, but did not understand until it was too late. And as far as the people who loved my cousin, no, I will not sell you or give you that guitar. That is special to me. But I'm sure all of you have been given something in equivalence. Thank you so kindly for listening. And God Bless you all.
~Joshua Jet Vaughan~
Post Script: Another statement that I make is that to lead we must follow and to follow we must lead. Stevie was and is a leader. Understanding this concept through his faith of God and his discernment. Though we are similar in many ways, of course, I am my own man. So again, I would be remiss if I did not add in Chris Layton, Tommy Shannon, and eventually Reese Wymans. These men are an example of what I have just stated. The way they valued each other and, of course, Stevie. This is a perfect example of my saying to lead we must follow; to follow we must lead.
As many Stevie fans watch his live videos, they can see how his band simply sits back as Stevie takes the lead. But without their support, without the love they had for one another, the way that this would have affected them as men and as friends would have not allowed for the music that we love and enjoy from Stevie Ray Vaughan and Double Trouble today. Each man knew their place, as music, great music, that changed lives and is still changing them for the better was and is the goal, as today everyone wants to be their own "rockstar" dividing bands and music which is why music has no soul or life and nothing to give anymore.
To me this is an example of an appreciation for the love of friendship and family. As family comes in all different forms as well as friendship. Recently, my wife and I had attended the 2015 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction. As I was to play, because of my current health and just being released from the hospital, I was not capable. When inducted, the tears were flowing from everyone. SRV and Double Trouble's induction was the greatest moment of this evening.
I had asked Chris what it was like and though I don't feel comfortable sharing his personal feelings without permission I will say that what he stated is exactly what you would believe he felt. On a personal note, though it was a great ceremony, I was very disappointed with the people that were chosen to play Pride and Joy and Texas Flood. Because he was and is my cousin, I feel that I not only have the right, but the responsibility to state my opinion on this. It was lackluster at best. And frankly I was somewhat embarrassed. There is a particular person who was playing and before I state this, obviously none of this has to do with my cousin Jimmy or Double Trouble, the other artists that were chosen to play, specifically one, who I will not name, are a disappointment.
This one person, I am not speaking just about their musical ability, I am speaking of his personality. He often goes on record stating that no one has ever had or will ever have the ability to play with the same passion or intensity that Stevie did. Not only is this a comment made out of ignorance for his own inadequacies. It is a comment that I believe my cousin Stevie would be appalled by.
Though he might be under the delusion that he is giving a compliment, he is taking away from all the other musicians that have been influenced by SRV, that have spent night and day with the same passion, the intensity that Stevie had, but simply have not been heard yet. He is not understanding that because of Stevie, this has allowed people to take their music to the next level. Just as the same could be said by Stevie himself for his musical influences. Without those people, Stevie would not be what we know him to be musically or personally as a man.
Yes, him being my cousin has made me work to learn every song that he has ever recorded note for note, with the same phrasing, intensity and emotion. With my Strat and simply playing any amp with just a tube screamer, with my massive strings, so high off the fret board, I have taken what Stevie has done and he has empowered me with a passion and love to play my music and of course his, with the respect of doing him justice.
Of course, without SRV, could this be possible?
Maybe, maybe not.
But this does not apply because Stevie was and is an influence to every musician. And to every heart. This musician that states otherwise does not understand the gift that he has been given from SRV. And personally knowing this man, I believe that is his ego and lack of passion and love that made him state this selfish comment. When I listen to songs like Tightrope, or Texas Flood, or Pride and Joy, and then I listen to a song that is a sell out at it's best, as an example, Your Body Is A Wonderland, I feel no need to go on as I believe I have proven my point.
So all you musicians who are playing with the gift of intensity and passion, keep doing so. Listen to the men like Stevie who encourage you to go after it, to be an open channel, and never make statements to restrict others or put them in a box, as this would be considered discouragement. And personally, we must always try to surpass the greats that came before us within our own styles of music and personality. Because of the respect that we have for what they have passed on to us. Thank you my cousin Stevie Ray Vaughan and his incredible band Double Trouble, for the blessing you have given me and the rest of the world. Remember, music grows and breathes and loves, just as we do.
My surnames have included Zobel, Yetikevich, Jurkeweicsz, Conway, Davis, Barr, Smith and Vaughan coming by way of Israel to Poland to the United States. This would be my Jewish/Polish side. I am also black and part Native American Indian. I do not state African American because there is no way to track my ancestry to Africa. And then there is my Welsh side. Vaughan is a Welsh name. But all the names were changed several times within Europe and then changed again several times when my ancestors immigrated to the United States including myself. So getting to the story about SRV:
I have many relatives in the city of Chicago. They are Welsh. But since a large amount settled and still live in Chicago, many of them married Italians. Because this anecdote involves my Italian cousin who has an odd Italian name, I felt it necessary to state this. His first name is Deano. No his legal name is not Dean and we add the O, it is legally Deano. Now that he's in his 50's, how odd it must be having this name.
Throughout my youth I had always felt as if something was missing. I used to have these dreams/daydreams about holding a guitar. Though my family came from music, back to my great aunt singing with Frank Sinatra and the Rat Pack, all the way to the great Stevie Ray Vaughan, my life was revolved around sports. When I was 7 years old, I went to visit my family in Chicago. I was favored amongst my cousins and treated quite well. As we were vacationing there for around two weeks, my cousin Deano was and is a very wealthy and is still a quite spontaneous man.
He owns a Think Tank creating ideas for major companies such as Apple. Though it took a few days, he had convinced my parents to allow me to go to Austin, Texas with him. Though a road trip would have been fun, as a 7 year old, I don't think this is something my cousin Deano would wanted to undertake. Because of his company, he had access to a private jet. I was excited, yet nervous, for the first time being able to fly as one of my dreams was to be a fighter pilot. My cousin, Deano, wanted to culture me in the greatest music of all, the blues.
I have always been particular to the blues, but really had not understood the genres of music. Little did I know, Deano had taken me there to also introduce me to a long lost cousin. Though I can not remember the name of the bar, as I was very young, one day in the afternoon, Deano took me to a bar to get lunch. On the stage was a man sitting in a chair with his feet propped up on another chair, his hat was tilted downward and he was playing guitar. I did not know it at the time until getting into music later in life what guitar he was playing. As we listened for 45 minutes, my cousin Deano had grabbed a drink from the bar and asked me to walk up to the man playing the blues on stage. It was none other than Stevie Ray Vaughan.
Deano said, I want to introduce you to your cousin. And then I was introduced to SRV.
Of course, I simply called him Cousin Stevie. As he put his guitar in his case, downed the drink my cousin Deano had bought for him, the three of us had taken a walk. Cousin Stevie was kind and gentle. Humble and timid. Was very respectful, but also very convicted. We had walked around the city of Austin. I was introduced to many people. Later that evening I went to meet the rest of my family. Stevie's family. I was very nervous, not because of my cousin Stevie, as I had no idea of who he was other than my cousin, but the fact that I was timid myself, especially around new people, though they made me feel at home.
I have always been an honest person, but for some reason I had felt ashamed when asked a question. Stevie had asked me if I had a guitar. As he had jammed a little bit and let me play his. Though I'm sure what I was playing, as I knew nothing of music, was horrifying. When asked, I said yes I do. He had offered to give me an old electric and/or acoustic saying I could pick. I did not accept at this time. Later that night Stevie had a gig and I was allowed in the bar despite my age to watch because I was his cousin. Though I loved the music, the atmosphere was what I drowned myself in.
Skipping ahead, many years later and around the age of 21, I had picked up the guitar. As I stated, I was involved in sports, that was my passion. Before picking up the guitar I had three influences. Keb'Mo. Eric Clapton. And eventually my cousin Stevie Ray. What's interesting within this story is that I had no conception of who my cousin was. When I heard Eric Clapton play "Before You Accuse Me" electrically and then did some research as he was coming out with his "From the Cradle" blues album, I was hooked.
Unfortunately, at this time, my cousin Stevie had passed a few years prior. I had seen him several more times before his passing. I had learned a great deal from this on how we overlook those within our family that are the closest to us. I don't believe it's because we don't appreciate them or that we're so selfish within our own lives. For me, I believe it's because I looked at him as my cousin, not as the great SRV. I had built a good relationship with him. But unfortunately, through most of his life, he had suffered from drug abuse and alcoholism.
The last time I had seen him was in 1989, when he played at Austin City Limits. This is when I had realized what guitar he was playing a decade earlier. This guitar was his number one, the famous Fender Strat. Stevie had said that he had over 200 necks replaced on the body of the guitar, but he also had several different bodies for it. Then there was the time I finally took the gift. A multi-piece SRV number one, or in this case maybe number 151, guitar. Finally, I had bought one of his CDs. It was a remastered version of his greatest hits. I was blown away.
Though it took me about another year to really appreciate what he was doing and what he would have accomplished through his music if not for the horrible circumstances causing his death. Though I had an inside track on how he had gotten his sound. It had taken me years, as this was the sound that I wanted. But to take it to the next level to accomplish this. Though the equipment is a huge part of it, it is the technique and intensity that must be possessed. I was given the same gift as my cousin was. Unfortunately, my health has not allowed for many to see this gift, much less to even hear it. I have done most of my playing live, and there are very few recordings of me. Vocally, I have exceeded almost everybody. Musically, I am the only person that can be and has been legitimately compared to my own cousin. Throughout the years I have developed my own style as well, as when I came into my own, I had taken music to a new level.
The day that I am better is the day that this will be understood. Without having Stevie musically, but also as my cousin, I would not have been able to achieve this. So this is a great joy and anecdote, but there is a lesson to be learned here. Whether we are youthful, whether we are getting up in years, we must stop and take the time to appreciate everyone, especially those that are closest to us. If we don't, life will pass us by and we will lose out on so much if we do not seize these gifts.
If Stevie wasn't Stevie, would I or anyone else appreciate him for who he was and what he has left behind? If he was simply my cousin, but had never reached the level of success he did, if he never died, would he have had the influence on so many that he has now? And is this something that he wondered, being such a gentle, humble soul, when alive?
When our hearts are full of love and we are contributing with the gifts that we have been given by God, we will be filled with our purpose to share with others. It is very difficult to be sycophantic to your relative. But it seems to be very easy to pass on by not only their gifts and talents but their love, as we expect it to go on forever.
Due to my health, it has made me question a lot of different variables. Would my life be different today, would I even be sick if I had looked at life in this way, the way that I am asking you to look at it? The way that I now see clear as day? So this may be silly, but don't live your life in overcast. Not only appreciate the beauty of everyone, but look for it. Let it shine through.
As with many of my relatives that have passed early, again, I wonder how my life would be different if they were still alive. The ones that have the great heart like my cousin Stevie. The great hearts that I have inherited. And I surely do not want to pass without giving the gift that I have been given, but did not understand until it was too late. And as far as the people who loved my cousin, no, I will not sell you or give you that guitar. That is special to me. But I'm sure all of you have been given something in equivalence. Thank you so kindly for listening. And God Bless you all.
~Joshua Jet Vaughan~
Post Script: Another statement that I make is that to lead we must follow and to follow we must lead. Stevie was and is a leader. Understanding this concept through his faith of God and his discernment. Though we are similar in many ways, of course, I am my own man. So again, I would be remiss if I did not add in Chris Layton, Tommy Shannon, and eventually Reese Wymans. These men are an example of what I have just stated. The way they valued each other and, of course, Stevie. This is a perfect example of my saying to lead we must follow; to follow we must lead.
As many Stevie fans watch his live videos, they can see how his band simply sits back as Stevie takes the lead. But without their support, without the love they had for one another, the way that this would have affected them as men and as friends would have not allowed for the music that we love and enjoy from Stevie Ray Vaughan and Double Trouble today. Each man knew their place, as music, great music, that changed lives and is still changing them for the better was and is the goal, as today everyone wants to be their own "rockstar" dividing bands and music which is why music has no soul or life and nothing to give anymore.
To me this is an example of an appreciation for the love of friendship and family. As family comes in all different forms as well as friendship. Recently, my wife and I had attended the 2015 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction. As I was to play, because of my current health and just being released from the hospital, I was not capable. When inducted, the tears were flowing from everyone. SRV and Double Trouble's induction was the greatest moment of this evening.
I had asked Chris what it was like and though I don't feel comfortable sharing his personal feelings without permission I will say that what he stated is exactly what you would believe he felt. On a personal note, though it was a great ceremony, I was very disappointed with the people that were chosen to play Pride and Joy and Texas Flood. Because he was and is my cousin, I feel that I not only have the right, but the responsibility to state my opinion on this. It was lackluster at best. And frankly I was somewhat embarrassed. There is a particular person who was playing and before I state this, obviously none of this has to do with my cousin Jimmy or Double Trouble, the other artists that were chosen to play, specifically one, who I will not name, are a disappointment.
This one person, I am not speaking just about their musical ability, I am speaking of his personality. He often goes on record stating that no one has ever had or will ever have the ability to play with the same passion or intensity that Stevie did. Not only is this a comment made out of ignorance for his own inadequacies. It is a comment that I believe my cousin Stevie would be appalled by.
Though he might be under the delusion that he is giving a compliment, he is taking away from all the other musicians that have been influenced by SRV, that have spent night and day with the same passion, the intensity that Stevie had, but simply have not been heard yet. He is not understanding that because of Stevie, this has allowed people to take their music to the next level. Just as the same could be said by Stevie himself for his musical influences. Without those people, Stevie would not be what we know him to be musically or personally as a man.
Yes, him being my cousin has made me work to learn every song that he has ever recorded note for note, with the same phrasing, intensity and emotion. With my Strat and simply playing any amp with just a tube screamer, with my massive strings, so high off the fret board, I have taken what Stevie has done and he has empowered me with a passion and love to play my music and of course his, with the respect of doing him justice.
Of course, without SRV, could this be possible?
Maybe, maybe not.
But this does not apply because Stevie was and is an influence to every musician. And to every heart. This musician that states otherwise does not understand the gift that he has been given from SRV. And personally knowing this man, I believe that is his ego and lack of passion and love that made him state this selfish comment. When I listen to songs like Tightrope, or Texas Flood, or Pride and Joy, and then I listen to a song that is a sell out at it's best, as an example, Your Body Is A Wonderland, I feel no need to go on as I believe I have proven my point.
So all you musicians who are playing with the gift of intensity and passion, keep doing so. Listen to the men like Stevie who encourage you to go after it, to be an open channel, and never make statements to restrict others or put them in a box, as this would be considered discouragement. And personally, we must always try to surpass the greats that came before us within our own styles of music and personality. Because of the respect that we have for what they have passed on to us. Thank you my cousin Stevie Ray Vaughan and his incredible band Double Trouble, for the blessing you have given me and the rest of the world. Remember, music grows and breathes and loves, just as we do.
Real Life Angel 0.5- Joshua's Insight
In my youth, there were many signs that I would have health issues to the degree that I have now, but were overlooked. As far as parents/family are concerned, some of the problems that I had endured throughout my young years should have been noticed and acknowledged as they were quite abnormal. But in these years, you assume these are natural occurring events. We all have aches and pains and many of us deal with some type of health issue throughout our life.
Being an All American athlete in four sports, though basketball was my passion in my youth, when I went to college, ultimately football was the sport I chose to play. When deciding a major, while attending the University of Michigan, I decided on Medicine. My minor was in theology. By the time I was attending college, the emphasis of God and Christianity was sorely lacking in this field. As I accepted Christ at the age of eight, I had had an understanding through the years of having a wonderful doctor, until he died when I was at the age of twenty two, of how faith and medicine go together.
I graduated very early from medical school. Did my residency, and practiced medicine for two years. During this time I had received a calling. That calling was and is music. I also had seen the corruption in medicine and knowing that I would make a career out of music that financially would be quite beneficial, not only to myself but to others as well; I had realized that my degree, my understanding of medicine and through the financial means that I had attained through music, I would be able to help those in need moreso than I could ever do as a personal doctor.
As I have gotten quite ill and have been mistreated throughout the years medically, it has taken away many of my gifts and normal every day activity. I have had several opportunities to sue for malpractice. My heart has always detoured me from this course of action. I have always had so much faith, I have believed that God would take care of this. As I can not understand His way of doing things, for I am not God, I left this in His hands. Throughout the years I have realized that the simple kinetic energy that builds from good words and actions snowball effects a hundred times more severely with bad words and actions.
When dealing with someone's health there comes a time where you reflect through the years and as you look back you realize that there are many occasions where you needed to stand up. And that yours and anyone else that is part of your life, is now dramatically affected by what I call passive behavior; which has taught me how to be convicted and assertive. With my life being on the line and with having a wonderful wife, who as far as the world is concerned, is very young at the age of 26, I can not let what is happening to me stand any further.
As this is now not just about me, but about my family. When people use their title to coerce, intimidate, or jeopardize a person's life, how long do we stand by and let this happen? I have seen and been through horrible circumstances that no man should ever endure, but I believe could not endure. As I try not to question, as most of my days are filled with horrible suffering, I become confused. But yet, I fight with as much patience and grace as possible.
I have always lived my life honest. Righteously. I find it interesting that in many professions and specifically the medical profession, that malpractice to the degree of the possibility of someone losing their life is less important to the law than me leaving a message stating that you are all fucking sick, damn you, and I'm going to fucking sue. Somehow, that has become more important as this doctor and their office have milked, playing the victim, more than I have ever experienced in my life.
I have seen throughout the years how title, money, clout, power, has allowed people to have a better quality of life. But this is something I have not seen my entire life. As everyone's life is worth the same. We are all human beings. We are all valuable, not only to ourselves, but each other. And our lives all contain the same value. We all need the same things as everyone else does. And health is the first. I have learned so much in my life. I have been given so much, as far as gifts, talents and opportunities. I have never been able to apply this or use these opportunities to better myself or the world the way I could if I was healthy.
I have an incredible understanding of human nature. We have all been given opportunities to better our lives and others, but do we do just that? As these opportunities are passed down from God to human hands, as people we give ourself the credit and acknowledge ourselves as the beneficiary of our own hard work. But whether we look at it as a God given gift or done simply by ourselves there is always someone that had a part to play in our life's success. But have we given the same in return? As time goes on I see less and less of this. Every man deserves health. Every man deserves help. There is room for all of us to succeed. As we should take pride, not in ourselves for how we have helped another man, but in the opportunity we have given them to succeed themselves; hence Pay It Forward.
The contradiction that comes with me is that I have seen that money, clout, etc. may have no affect on how you are treated, yes even medically, in this world. Though I am not shocked by what happens. Everytime something like this does, I can not find the ability to understand it. Ignorance is not a lack of understanding. Ignorance is a lack of responsibility to do just this: to simply understand.
To elaborate, on the story that had been told on what happened recently with the doctor and the law, the officer who had called my home based upon the message that I had left, and my wife's, that the doctor and his employees, had stated to the officer, were in fear for their lives. But who should be in fear for their life? Though my message was not threatening, other than the fact that I was going to sue, even if it were I give you this analogy: If a man is standing 100 feet from me holding a baseball bat and I threaten to harm him if he attacks me; is that a threat? As opposed to the man who is swinging the bat and hitting me, is that a threat? Or is that a specific action, as they are currently doing bodily harm to jeopardize my life? So as this doctor's actions, as with all doctors, they will put a narrative (which by the way is illegal) in my medical records, not only hurting me directly from his lack of treatment, but furthering the harm by influencing the future actions of others as colleagues always stick together. The way that people manipulate, con, and straight out lie is horrific. Taking more time on a lie to cover their butts, than even giving the thought or having the heart to care about another human being's life.
Daily we walk by as we see this happening in our world. And we stand by idly. Many times the word evil is used. Evil is often associated with television and movies. An example created in horror, derived from this media, as we all have the same conception of what evil entails. But when wrong behavior can cost another person their life, do you determine if this is ignorance derived from any basic human emotion, or do you determine that this is pure evil?
With that being said, I would like to state this. For the last ten years the number one percentage of murderers and serial killers come from one profession: The medical profession, specifically doctors. No I am not talking about medical malpractice. There are two categories I am talking about. Doctors who are so sick that they kill people while in their office or hospital overdosing them and using other means for their own pleasure to murder. Also, in the category of murdering people outside of the office or hospital.
When talking with the officer who is a foolish man at best, and obviously had no idea who he was talking to, as his words were child-like, as even though I am very ill I still have never allowed myself to be bullied or intimidated. This has never come through my sheer size and strength, especially when I was healthy, but through the gift of articulation throughout my words; which sometimes are followed by action. In this situation I have found that people use bullying to validate their importance. As something is missing in their life. So they try to intimidate to make up for their unhappiness. Their loneliness. And the empty feeling that comes from having no morality or faith in anyone or anything, especially themselves. I had told this so called officer of the law that the doctor and his employees had left several derogatory messages to me via phone/letters (which by the way makes their actions a federal offense), and as I had offered him proof, wanted nothing to do with it, as this was outside of his jurisdiction. Yes, a contradiction within itself, asked me why would a doctor's office would do something like this or leave something like this. My reply was as opposed to what or whom? As I continued to state, just because they work in the medical field does not mean they are infallible and do not live in the same moral ambiguity as the rest of the world. And because they take an oath, as the first statement in the Hippocratic oath is thou shalt not harm, when they do this, it is far more serious because of the oath than someone who is outside of the medical profession.
As far as this lowly would be officer, who is living his life passive aggressively, which does not go over on someone like me, he also had to take an oath. And the first statement in his oath is to serve and protect. Yet, I ask you whom is he serving and protecting?
We in life, do not get to choose who is more important, rather whose life is more important than anothers'. Most of us go through life judging. And many years ago I learned something. An epiphany or revelation I suppose. We may have our opinion, but we must not place judgment. Our opinion must be formed by gathering enough information, which usually comes through time and education, along with instinct and discernment, before we should come to a conclusion.
There's an old statement that is never used anymore. People used to say simply before making a decision, so that it was not rash, to sleep on it. No matter how much we know somebody, we will never be able to completely understand them, as the way they understand themselves. Though we sure like to think otherwise and believe we know what is best for others. You may be fifty years old, and even your parents do this very thing. But by doing so, people spend more time focusing on others and less on themselves. They are contradicting themselves within their own words and actions. But life is about responsibility. We must hold ourselves in contempt, and take responsibility for our own actions. Actions have always spoken louder than words.
Somehow we have gotten to the point in life that if we wrong someone so badly and back them in a corner, that when they defend themselves, we consider them to be wrong. We all live with instincts. It is called discernment. We all know the difference between right and wrong. What I have seen in my life is that people have chosen to decide what is right and wrong based upon what is right and wrong for them and them alone.
We have the right to live our life accordingly. But if our life choices negatively effect the lives of others, personally or from afar, to where their life could be altered so dramatically where they can lose their life, when will people find the humility to know that what they are doing is wrong? To change their ways and make it right?
Frankly, I have put how I feel about these types of incidences in a kind manner. I have learned that ranting, while having anger within your heart, not only accomplishes nothing, but turns people against you.
Though we all do it. We must all walk softly on each other's hearts. If we don't do so, people like this doctor, this office, hence employees, and this officer, cause human beings to approach life with this attitude. But we must not be easily offended, as each person's definition of offensiveness is left up to their own mind. So we must learn enough about another person, as I just stated, to walk softly on their heart, but never walk around it. The attitude of hatred and contempt, having no love, no responsibility for what they are doing. Having none of this for any man. Though we are not a result of our circumstance, we make this choice on our own, of our own accord.
So in ending, I put it simply: When we are in a profession to help others, the people in need, no matter what they do, no matter what you think of them, even if they have destroyed their own health, it is the helpers' responsibility to help fix and treat the problems with their health. It is our responsibility as human beings to support those in need as I guarantee you this, there is not a person on this earth that lives their life in sickness unrighteously. Sickness may change people in many ways. In many negative ways. Real sickness, untreated, suffering to the point of torture. I have found, with myself, that hatred is one of these emotions that comes with being mistreated. But hatred is a powerful emotion. It drives a person to survive. But hatred must not lie in our heart. What must be in our heart and never contain for ourself is love. But if we know that an action is in the category of evil, does it come down to hating the action? Yet still loving the person. I do not believe that we can love evil. Love is a gift to be given and accepted. A person who lives their life doing evil should not be given this gift because it would never be accepted, and obviously would never be given back. So as I am slightly remiss in stating this, and I know there are few who can understand it or relate; if I am to find purpose in how I've been wronged, I must do what every man does when they have an understanding about something that no one else could. This is how we destroy hatred, anger, vindictiveness, and everything that is entailed in the destruction and unappreciation of human life.
So whether you live your life righteously or not, we must still strive for righteousness in our actions and words as we expect this from others. We must appreciate the people who are there for us in our personal lives, but as multimedia has consumed this world, we must appreciate those in this aspect of our life, the friends that we acquire through sites like this one. We must share the burden.
Words can change the world. I have found that the negativity within words need no action to destroy the world. But words with Positivity MUST need action to better the world. And in the case of what is happening to me and others, the one thing we must give is our time. It is the most precious thing we have for we can never get it back. But when we give it, our moment of help can allow a person to live.
So I refer to a statement that I have spoken of repeatedly: Without selfishness, there is no need to be selfish, for we will always be getting what we need. And I add this: Without humility, we will never serve the gift of responsibility. And without responsibility, no man will attain the gift of humility. For that's what it is. But with all gifts, it is a choice to accept it. As the gift of responsibility can only be handled with the humble hands of the responsible. Take Care and God Bless.
~Joshua Jet Vaughan~
Post Script: I am so fucking profound. So I leave you with this, sensibility is derived from a sense of humor. Not a sense of doom-er.(I mean doom) For those who do not know me, I threw out the Fbomb for a purpose. A word that can be used for destruction to cause pain. A noun. A verb. An adjective. Or I can use it as I have now to emphasize a point. Of course, a humorous example of arrogance not humility. Are you in fear of your life now? Point made. I believe enough said. Buhbye.
Being an All American athlete in four sports, though basketball was my passion in my youth, when I went to college, ultimately football was the sport I chose to play. When deciding a major, while attending the University of Michigan, I decided on Medicine. My minor was in theology. By the time I was attending college, the emphasis of God and Christianity was sorely lacking in this field. As I accepted Christ at the age of eight, I had had an understanding through the years of having a wonderful doctor, until he died when I was at the age of twenty two, of how faith and medicine go together.
I graduated very early from medical school. Did my residency, and practiced medicine for two years. During this time I had received a calling. That calling was and is music. I also had seen the corruption in medicine and knowing that I would make a career out of music that financially would be quite beneficial, not only to myself but to others as well; I had realized that my degree, my understanding of medicine and through the financial means that I had attained through music, I would be able to help those in need moreso than I could ever do as a personal doctor.
As I have gotten quite ill and have been mistreated throughout the years medically, it has taken away many of my gifts and normal every day activity. I have had several opportunities to sue for malpractice. My heart has always detoured me from this course of action. I have always had so much faith, I have believed that God would take care of this. As I can not understand His way of doing things, for I am not God, I left this in His hands. Throughout the years I have realized that the simple kinetic energy that builds from good words and actions snowball effects a hundred times more severely with bad words and actions.
When dealing with someone's health there comes a time where you reflect through the years and as you look back you realize that there are many occasions where you needed to stand up. And that yours and anyone else that is part of your life, is now dramatically affected by what I call passive behavior; which has taught me how to be convicted and assertive. With my life being on the line and with having a wonderful wife, who as far as the world is concerned, is very young at the age of 26, I can not let what is happening to me stand any further.
As this is now not just about me, but about my family. When people use their title to coerce, intimidate, or jeopardize a person's life, how long do we stand by and let this happen? I have seen and been through horrible circumstances that no man should ever endure, but I believe could not endure. As I try not to question, as most of my days are filled with horrible suffering, I become confused. But yet, I fight with as much patience and grace as possible.
I have always lived my life honest. Righteously. I find it interesting that in many professions and specifically the medical profession, that malpractice to the degree of the possibility of someone losing their life is less important to the law than me leaving a message stating that you are all fucking sick, damn you, and I'm going to fucking sue. Somehow, that has become more important as this doctor and their office have milked, playing the victim, more than I have ever experienced in my life.
I have seen throughout the years how title, money, clout, power, has allowed people to have a better quality of life. But this is something I have not seen my entire life. As everyone's life is worth the same. We are all human beings. We are all valuable, not only to ourselves, but each other. And our lives all contain the same value. We all need the same things as everyone else does. And health is the first. I have learned so much in my life. I have been given so much, as far as gifts, talents and opportunities. I have never been able to apply this or use these opportunities to better myself or the world the way I could if I was healthy.
I have an incredible understanding of human nature. We have all been given opportunities to better our lives and others, but do we do just that? As these opportunities are passed down from God to human hands, as people we give ourself the credit and acknowledge ourselves as the beneficiary of our own hard work. But whether we look at it as a God given gift or done simply by ourselves there is always someone that had a part to play in our life's success. But have we given the same in return? As time goes on I see less and less of this. Every man deserves health. Every man deserves help. There is room for all of us to succeed. As we should take pride, not in ourselves for how we have helped another man, but in the opportunity we have given them to succeed themselves; hence Pay It Forward.
The contradiction that comes with me is that I have seen that money, clout, etc. may have no affect on how you are treated, yes even medically, in this world. Though I am not shocked by what happens. Everytime something like this does, I can not find the ability to understand it. Ignorance is not a lack of understanding. Ignorance is a lack of responsibility to do just this: to simply understand.
To elaborate, on the story that had been told on what happened recently with the doctor and the law, the officer who had called my home based upon the message that I had left, and my wife's, that the doctor and his employees, had stated to the officer, were in fear for their lives. But who should be in fear for their life? Though my message was not threatening, other than the fact that I was going to sue, even if it were I give you this analogy: If a man is standing 100 feet from me holding a baseball bat and I threaten to harm him if he attacks me; is that a threat? As opposed to the man who is swinging the bat and hitting me, is that a threat? Or is that a specific action, as they are currently doing bodily harm to jeopardize my life? So as this doctor's actions, as with all doctors, they will put a narrative (which by the way is illegal) in my medical records, not only hurting me directly from his lack of treatment, but furthering the harm by influencing the future actions of others as colleagues always stick together. The way that people manipulate, con, and straight out lie is horrific. Taking more time on a lie to cover their butts, than even giving the thought or having the heart to care about another human being's life.
Daily we walk by as we see this happening in our world. And we stand by idly. Many times the word evil is used. Evil is often associated with television and movies. An example created in horror, derived from this media, as we all have the same conception of what evil entails. But when wrong behavior can cost another person their life, do you determine if this is ignorance derived from any basic human emotion, or do you determine that this is pure evil?
With that being said, I would like to state this. For the last ten years the number one percentage of murderers and serial killers come from one profession: The medical profession, specifically doctors. No I am not talking about medical malpractice. There are two categories I am talking about. Doctors who are so sick that they kill people while in their office or hospital overdosing them and using other means for their own pleasure to murder. Also, in the category of murdering people outside of the office or hospital.
When talking with the officer who is a foolish man at best, and obviously had no idea who he was talking to, as his words were child-like, as even though I am very ill I still have never allowed myself to be bullied or intimidated. This has never come through my sheer size and strength, especially when I was healthy, but through the gift of articulation throughout my words; which sometimes are followed by action. In this situation I have found that people use bullying to validate their importance. As something is missing in their life. So they try to intimidate to make up for their unhappiness. Their loneliness. And the empty feeling that comes from having no morality or faith in anyone or anything, especially themselves. I had told this so called officer of the law that the doctor and his employees had left several derogatory messages to me via phone/letters (which by the way makes their actions a federal offense), and as I had offered him proof, wanted nothing to do with it, as this was outside of his jurisdiction. Yes, a contradiction within itself, asked me why would a doctor's office would do something like this or leave something like this. My reply was as opposed to what or whom? As I continued to state, just because they work in the medical field does not mean they are infallible and do not live in the same moral ambiguity as the rest of the world. And because they take an oath, as the first statement in the Hippocratic oath is thou shalt not harm, when they do this, it is far more serious because of the oath than someone who is outside of the medical profession.
As far as this lowly would be officer, who is living his life passive aggressively, which does not go over on someone like me, he also had to take an oath. And the first statement in his oath is to serve and protect. Yet, I ask you whom is he serving and protecting?
We in life, do not get to choose who is more important, rather whose life is more important than anothers'. Most of us go through life judging. And many years ago I learned something. An epiphany or revelation I suppose. We may have our opinion, but we must not place judgment. Our opinion must be formed by gathering enough information, which usually comes through time and education, along with instinct and discernment, before we should come to a conclusion.
There's an old statement that is never used anymore. People used to say simply before making a decision, so that it was not rash, to sleep on it. No matter how much we know somebody, we will never be able to completely understand them, as the way they understand themselves. Though we sure like to think otherwise and believe we know what is best for others. You may be fifty years old, and even your parents do this very thing. But by doing so, people spend more time focusing on others and less on themselves. They are contradicting themselves within their own words and actions. But life is about responsibility. We must hold ourselves in contempt, and take responsibility for our own actions. Actions have always spoken louder than words.
Somehow we have gotten to the point in life that if we wrong someone so badly and back them in a corner, that when they defend themselves, we consider them to be wrong. We all live with instincts. It is called discernment. We all know the difference between right and wrong. What I have seen in my life is that people have chosen to decide what is right and wrong based upon what is right and wrong for them and them alone.
We have the right to live our life accordingly. But if our life choices negatively effect the lives of others, personally or from afar, to where their life could be altered so dramatically where they can lose their life, when will people find the humility to know that what they are doing is wrong? To change their ways and make it right?
Frankly, I have put how I feel about these types of incidences in a kind manner. I have learned that ranting, while having anger within your heart, not only accomplishes nothing, but turns people against you.
Though we all do it. We must all walk softly on each other's hearts. If we don't do so, people like this doctor, this office, hence employees, and this officer, cause human beings to approach life with this attitude. But we must not be easily offended, as each person's definition of offensiveness is left up to their own mind. So we must learn enough about another person, as I just stated, to walk softly on their heart, but never walk around it. The attitude of hatred and contempt, having no love, no responsibility for what they are doing. Having none of this for any man. Though we are not a result of our circumstance, we make this choice on our own, of our own accord.
So in ending, I put it simply: When we are in a profession to help others, the people in need, no matter what they do, no matter what you think of them, even if they have destroyed their own health, it is the helpers' responsibility to help fix and treat the problems with their health. It is our responsibility as human beings to support those in need as I guarantee you this, there is not a person on this earth that lives their life in sickness unrighteously. Sickness may change people in many ways. In many negative ways. Real sickness, untreated, suffering to the point of torture. I have found, with myself, that hatred is one of these emotions that comes with being mistreated. But hatred is a powerful emotion. It drives a person to survive. But hatred must not lie in our heart. What must be in our heart and never contain for ourself is love. But if we know that an action is in the category of evil, does it come down to hating the action? Yet still loving the person. I do not believe that we can love evil. Love is a gift to be given and accepted. A person who lives their life doing evil should not be given this gift because it would never be accepted, and obviously would never be given back. So as I am slightly remiss in stating this, and I know there are few who can understand it or relate; if I am to find purpose in how I've been wronged, I must do what every man does when they have an understanding about something that no one else could. This is how we destroy hatred, anger, vindictiveness, and everything that is entailed in the destruction and unappreciation of human life.
So whether you live your life righteously or not, we must still strive for righteousness in our actions and words as we expect this from others. We must appreciate the people who are there for us in our personal lives, but as multimedia has consumed this world, we must appreciate those in this aspect of our life, the friends that we acquire through sites like this one. We must share the burden.
Words can change the world. I have found that the negativity within words need no action to destroy the world. But words with Positivity MUST need action to better the world. And in the case of what is happening to me and others, the one thing we must give is our time. It is the most precious thing we have for we can never get it back. But when we give it, our moment of help can allow a person to live.
So I refer to a statement that I have spoken of repeatedly: Without selfishness, there is no need to be selfish, for we will always be getting what we need. And I add this: Without humility, we will never serve the gift of responsibility. And without responsibility, no man will attain the gift of humility. For that's what it is. But with all gifts, it is a choice to accept it. As the gift of responsibility can only be handled with the humble hands of the responsible. Take Care and God Bless.
~Joshua Jet Vaughan~
Post Script: I am so fucking profound. So I leave you with this, sensibility is derived from a sense of humor. Not a sense of doom-er.(I mean doom) For those who do not know me, I threw out the Fbomb for a purpose. A word that can be used for destruction to cause pain. A noun. A verb. An adjective. Or I can use it as I have now to emphasize a point. Of course, a humorous example of arrogance not humility. Are you in fear of your life now? Point made. I believe enough said. Buhbye.
Monday, June 15, 2015
Real Life Angel 0.5 - You Must Be Joking Right?
When I began writing the segment "Real Life Angel" I wanted to start with an anecdote about how I have seen Joshua make a difference in the lives of others through the purity of his heart, and how simply being witness to this has made a difference in my life. But I feel the need to document this now as it has just happened...
I will be chronicling the events that took place during my husband's recent hospitalization, and what happened afterwards, however to sum it up for the purpose of this story I'll say this: We were promised a physician for him, in writing, that believed he could help. Finally a doctor who had an idea of what all of Joshua's symptoms could add up to. We were relieved and elated, finally we were going to get some answers, and hopefully, for Joshua proper treatment or a cure. After his decades of suffering, finally some peace.
Two days ago we received two letters in the mail regarding a recent appointment with this doctor. This "savior" doctor had made and cancelled a total of 14 appointments for my husband without notifying us of any of them. The first letter we received stated that the most recent appointment that they had made without our knowledge was marked as a missed appointment, but that's alright they would work with us because they understand that "Life Happens." The second letter stated that my husband could not be seen as a patient at that office due to repeated missed appointments. All of which had been made and cancelled on our behalf by the doctor himself! Without telling us! Obviously, we were outraged, furious, but most of all disappointed beyond words that this flicker of hope was snuffed out. If they had been honest in the beginning that they would do nothing, we would have been less disappointed than to be led on for two months after discharge from the hospital and could have spent this time searching for other help.
So we left a couple of voicemail messages expressing our outrage, and also to inform the doctor and his staff that we would be suing them and they could look forward to hearing from our lawyer, and a few choice expletives were added as well.
So Today, as I'm grocery shopping, I receive a call from my husband telling me that the E County Animal Control kept calling the house, and he asked if I knew why. I have no idea. Our animals are all well fed (if anything spoiled rotten with treats), well kept, no reason for anyone to call them on us, so we both thought it was nothing. So he checks the messages. This doctor's office had called in a favor to a police officer and had this friend of theirs call us to try to bully us into dropping the lawsuit by way of threat of criminal charges. Because we had used a total of three swear words between the two of us, they are pursuing charges against us for "Malicious Use of a Telecommunication Device"
Since we are taking them to court to sue for Malpractice and are pursuing criminal charges on them as well, not only are we not threatened by this bullying tactic, but it simply adds to our case since we are well within our rights to counter with our own Malicious Use of a Telecommunication Device charge since they left a message on our phone, which was obvious that they didn't hang up when they had meant to, saying "Even though we are aware that without medical treatment your husband will die, we can no longer accept his as a patient at our facility. Good luck fuckers" Obviously the F-bomb was not meant for us to hear. Amongst several other messages along the same lines.
We view this whole incident as a joke, and a failed attempt on their behalf to intimidate us out of suing them civilly for the negligence they have exhibited in my husband's treatment. It makes me sick when people abuse the law, it's bad enough when cops do it, but when doctors, who have to break doctor-patient confidentiality in order to file a police report on a patient, are simply trying to ensure my husband dies before our civil suit goes to court. They will not win.
But why is this being allowed to continue? Don't we have enough problems without this going on as well? When will people stop doing wrong, and when will someone protect patients from abusive doctors? I'm so beyond frustrating and for the past few days we have been back at square one as far as finding some answers. I thought that I had seen how low doctors would stoop to cover their asses, but I have seen a whole new low of moral and ethical destitution.
We need some help. Where's our life saver? When will we have answers? My husband gets sicker each and every passing day, and I hope and pray that someone out there has love on their heart instead of revenge or spite or pride, or arrogant ignorance, and stop placing their patients' lives at risk just because they can't admit they are wrong or don't know something. Send us our life preserver please!
You say it Grey's Anatomy! I know exactly how you feel.
~Anna Bella Vaughan~
I will be chronicling the events that took place during my husband's recent hospitalization, and what happened afterwards, however to sum it up for the purpose of this story I'll say this: We were promised a physician for him, in writing, that believed he could help. Finally a doctor who had an idea of what all of Joshua's symptoms could add up to. We were relieved and elated, finally we were going to get some answers, and hopefully, for Joshua proper treatment or a cure. After his decades of suffering, finally some peace.
Two days ago we received two letters in the mail regarding a recent appointment with this doctor. This "savior" doctor had made and cancelled a total of 14 appointments for my husband without notifying us of any of them. The first letter we received stated that the most recent appointment that they had made without our knowledge was marked as a missed appointment, but that's alright they would work with us because they understand that "Life Happens." The second letter stated that my husband could not be seen as a patient at that office due to repeated missed appointments. All of which had been made and cancelled on our behalf by the doctor himself! Without telling us! Obviously, we were outraged, furious, but most of all disappointed beyond words that this flicker of hope was snuffed out. If they had been honest in the beginning that they would do nothing, we would have been less disappointed than to be led on for two months after discharge from the hospital and could have spent this time searching for other help.
So we left a couple of voicemail messages expressing our outrage, and also to inform the doctor and his staff that we would be suing them and they could look forward to hearing from our lawyer, and a few choice expletives were added as well.
So Today, as I'm grocery shopping, I receive a call from my husband telling me that the E County Animal Control kept calling the house, and he asked if I knew why. I have no idea. Our animals are all well fed (if anything spoiled rotten with treats), well kept, no reason for anyone to call them on us, so we both thought it was nothing. So he checks the messages. This doctor's office had called in a favor to a police officer and had this friend of theirs call us to try to bully us into dropping the lawsuit by way of threat of criminal charges. Because we had used a total of three swear words between the two of us, they are pursuing charges against us for "Malicious Use of a Telecommunication Device"
Since we are taking them to court to sue for Malpractice and are pursuing criminal charges on them as well, not only are we not threatened by this bullying tactic, but it simply adds to our case since we are well within our rights to counter with our own Malicious Use of a Telecommunication Device charge since they left a message on our phone, which was obvious that they didn't hang up when they had meant to, saying "Even though we are aware that without medical treatment your husband will die, we can no longer accept his as a patient at our facility. Good luck fuckers" Obviously the F-bomb was not meant for us to hear. Amongst several other messages along the same lines.
We view this whole incident as a joke, and a failed attempt on their behalf to intimidate us out of suing them civilly for the negligence they have exhibited in my husband's treatment. It makes me sick when people abuse the law, it's bad enough when cops do it, but when doctors, who have to break doctor-patient confidentiality in order to file a police report on a patient, are simply trying to ensure my husband dies before our civil suit goes to court. They will not win.
But why is this being allowed to continue? Don't we have enough problems without this going on as well? When will people stop doing wrong, and when will someone protect patients from abusive doctors? I'm so beyond frustrating and for the past few days we have been back at square one as far as finding some answers. I thought that I had seen how low doctors would stoop to cover their asses, but I have seen a whole new low of moral and ethical destitution.
We need some help. Where's our life saver? When will we have answers? My husband gets sicker each and every passing day, and I hope and pray that someone out there has love on their heart instead of revenge or spite or pride, or arrogant ignorance, and stop placing their patients' lives at risk just because they can't admit they are wrong or don't know something. Send us our life preserver please!
You say it Grey's Anatomy! I know exactly how you feel.
~Anna Bella Vaughan~
The Last Good Fight
Wipe away all the tears,
but you say that's all that you have.
But it's gone on for so many years.
that you can't even remember how to laugh.
You hope that the time comes,
that your life is not just a half,
a half of belonging, of seeing,
where your flag is at half mast.
When the only thing you know,
is sorrow and pain.
Which all you ever did was grow,
amongst the degradation and shame.
As you look to the Lord,
with your love, with someone to blame
Your dignity still in store
but it can't stop the rain.
So you're held up and beat down
with no where to go.
With all the gifts bestowed upon you
yet, none of them you can show.
The fire inside of you
and an ounce of dignity intact
with all the faith that you have
you wonder who has your back.
Is it cliche to think
that the words of Truth are actually true?
Supposed to hold us together
yet there are so few.
That, understand what I'm saying,
or am I the only one?
that keeps on praying,
but the answer is none.
So you're held up and beat down
and all of your strength and grace
but on this planet created for man
there seems to be no place.
No peace, no home,
no tunnel of light
just a long wind-y road
and just blurriness of sight.
So I wind up asking
for this very last time
not what is owed or
what should be mine.
But rather what could I do
with my needs bestowed upon me
and my love for you
is all that people would see.
So lift me up
and pick me up off the ground
give me once, what I knew
along with the new man that I have found.
For the glory only goes so far
if there's no one to show.
So please give me this
or just let me go.
So no more held up or beat down
for this is all I know
So for who you have created
please please let me show.
If peace and salvation
is not just at the end
how did I lose so much
that I cant call the father the father or even my friend
As I look at this world
and I am not proud
yet in sickness or health
I still praise your name loud
The many gifts that have been given
they were once before
you leave me with only one
and when will she be no more
So I say this to you
with all of my heart
give me back myself
and the world will see my heart.
I'll stand up and fight
and give the glory to thy name
for there's no honor in sickness
just my spirit in shame.
Like said before
the three men I admire most
the father, the son,
and the holy ghost
But the love I feel from those
I surely can not boast
So I'm still held up and beat down
with no where to go.
This confusion in my head
I hope, is not all that I will know.
so pick me up
and put your hand into mine
let me feel your grace and love
and leave all this behind.
I'm not the only one who deserves this
I'm sure others do too
but I can't think of any one else
who loves you more than I do.
by Joshua Jet Vaughan ~ For all those hurting
Joshua's Joys
I've always loved this song. I find the lyrics quite curious. The title of the song, and the main line of the chorus, "Only the Good Die Young" is simple in nature. But so are most great quotes or song titles, etc. Do any of you believe that only the good die young? If you really give it thought, it's quite interesting where your mind goes.
Sunday, June 14, 2015
Real Life Angel- An Introduction
Throughout the years that we have been together, I have seen my husband go through unspeakable sufferings. But each day he continues to amaze me by getting up and fighting not just for himself, but for me and for our life together.
The inhumanities that he has faced, and that we have faced together are beyond what I thought people were capable of. I don't understand why with such talent and grace that my husband possesses, why this is our journey, but I have to believe that it is for a purpose higher than my understanding.
The reason why I am writing this, is that I will be writing about Joshua and my life together. About the heartaches and trials that we have been through and survived, and the struggles that we have faced and are still going strong in our love, and Joshua in his life.
My husband is my hero, my mentor and my idol. I've never looked at someone and thought, "this is who I want to be more like" until I met Joshua. His kindness exceeds what I even hoped to become myself, and his knowledge and wisdom is so strati-spherically advanced that, at times, it borders clairvoyance, however, he simply possesses a profound understanding of human nature, the human heart and spirit, and the world.
People have turned their back on us in our struggles. And while we have many friends who have, not only stuck by our side and provided support, but lent and given their love as well; the number of those who have proven and stated that Joshua's life is worthless are so numerous I can't help thinking and feeling, "What kind of world are we living in that a price is placed upon a person's life?" And beyond a price, as in our journey money, clout, power, etc, has proven to be of no importance, but that an individual's own view of themselves and their arrogance can allow them to stand by and not only watch a good man die, but cause it.
This is some of what we have lived through. My confusion and hurt over seeing my husband sick and suffering each and every day, when there is no apparent purpose for it, while being denied by those that can and have the ability and resources to end it, is deafening to my sanity.
Over the years, we have both had moments of surrealism: how can this possibly be real? How can this possibly be continuing and how can we possibly make it through and keep fighting? As you read some of the experiences that Joshua has been through and that we have been through together; I understand how some of it seems unreal, because the feeling of "people can not possibly be that cruel" that may come over you, however, do not fear because you are not alone as Joshua and I have this feeling each and every day that we live it.
I don't understand why proper medical help has not yet come our way. The number of times that I have had to watch my husband die is so high that I lost count, and my heart aches and cries at the fear that I may have to see it again before this is over. My confusion over why God has not simply healed Joshua exponentially grows every day, and though I still have faith that that day will come, my heart and soul are weary with how much more my Joshua will have to endure before it is in God's timing.
I will be writing about our experiences from my point of view. I don't understand how this could have gone on for so long. My husband is a good man, with amazing goals and dreams not only for himself and me, but also for the world. He sees things the right way, and no matter when he speaks, even if he is met with an argumentative attitude, whomever he speaks with walks away feeling as though what he said is righteous, because it is.
I don't know when our time will come for him to receive his help, but I hope and pray it is soon because while my husband is strong, I don't know how much longer he can take this, not just the physical suffering he is enduring, but the mental, spiritual and emotional struggle that he makes as every day more and more people turn their back on him who are supposed to be the ones that are helping him make it through this.
My Joshua has too many talents, and too good of a heart for this to be his legacy. Each time I look at him I see his soul, and I miss his singing and his playing. I miss his guitar that would soar above any other sound, and his voice that transcends the singing of the angels in heaven. I miss his athletic drive and to see him doing decline crunches with 145lbs on his chest, and I miss looking away afraid that he'd drop one and it would crush his head, even though I know he's too strong for that to ever happen. I miss the pride he used to walk with, the confidence, walking tall with the conviction and strength of every cell in his body radiates.
I guess my simple question is, when will it be his turn to be healed or to have the right doctor care?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The inhumanities that he has faced, and that we have faced together are beyond what I thought people were capable of. I don't understand why with such talent and grace that my husband possesses, why this is our journey, but I have to believe that it is for a purpose higher than my understanding.
The reason why I am writing this, is that I will be writing about Joshua and my life together. About the heartaches and trials that we have been through and survived, and the struggles that we have faced and are still going strong in our love, and Joshua in his life.
My husband is my hero, my mentor and my idol. I've never looked at someone and thought, "this is who I want to be more like" until I met Joshua. His kindness exceeds what I even hoped to become myself, and his knowledge and wisdom is so strati-spherically advanced that, at times, it borders clairvoyance, however, he simply possesses a profound understanding of human nature, the human heart and spirit, and the world.
People have turned their back on us in our struggles. And while we have many friends who have, not only stuck by our side and provided support, but lent and given their love as well; the number of those who have proven and stated that Joshua's life is worthless are so numerous I can't help thinking and feeling, "What kind of world are we living in that a price is placed upon a person's life?" And beyond a price, as in our journey money, clout, power, etc, has proven to be of no importance, but that an individual's own view of themselves and their arrogance can allow them to stand by and not only watch a good man die, but cause it.
This is some of what we have lived through. My confusion and hurt over seeing my husband sick and suffering each and every day, when there is no apparent purpose for it, while being denied by those that can and have the ability and resources to end it, is deafening to my sanity.
Over the years, we have both had moments of surrealism: how can this possibly be real? How can this possibly be continuing and how can we possibly make it through and keep fighting? As you read some of the experiences that Joshua has been through and that we have been through together; I understand how some of it seems unreal, because the feeling of "people can not possibly be that cruel" that may come over you, however, do not fear because you are not alone as Joshua and I have this feeling each and every day that we live it.
I don't understand why proper medical help has not yet come our way. The number of times that I have had to watch my husband die is so high that I lost count, and my heart aches and cries at the fear that I may have to see it again before this is over. My confusion over why God has not simply healed Joshua exponentially grows every day, and though I still have faith that that day will come, my heart and soul are weary with how much more my Joshua will have to endure before it is in God's timing.
I will be writing about our experiences from my point of view. I don't understand how this could have gone on for so long. My husband is a good man, with amazing goals and dreams not only for himself and me, but also for the world. He sees things the right way, and no matter when he speaks, even if he is met with an argumentative attitude, whomever he speaks with walks away feeling as though what he said is righteous, because it is.
I don't know when our time will come for him to receive his help, but I hope and pray it is soon because while my husband is strong, I don't know how much longer he can take this, not just the physical suffering he is enduring, but the mental, spiritual and emotional struggle that he makes as every day more and more people turn their back on him who are supposed to be the ones that are helping him make it through this.
My Joshua has too many talents, and too good of a heart for this to be his legacy. Each time I look at him I see his soul, and I miss his singing and his playing. I miss his guitar that would soar above any other sound, and his voice that transcends the singing of the angels in heaven. I miss his athletic drive and to see him doing decline crunches with 145lbs on his chest, and I miss looking away afraid that he'd drop one and it would crush his head, even though I know he's too strong for that to ever happen. I miss the pride he used to walk with, the confidence, walking tall with the conviction and strength of every cell in his body radiates.
I guess my simple question is, when will it be his turn to be healed or to have the right doctor care?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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