Follow Your Passion Part One

As a performer of any kind, one of the first things you learn is to never apologize for mistakes before your performance.

As a musician, I've seen many of my fellows make this same mistake.  Even I have been guilty of it from time to time. One person I've never seen make a mistake is my husband Joshua. Not to say that he doesn't dislike what he plays at times, but something that I've observed about his playing (and see him apply to his and our life) is that if something doesn't go quite the way it was planned, to make it be the way you want.

Let me elaborate.  When I first started playing, I knew I had a passion for music.  One of my greatest fears growing up was that pursuing music in college, as a career, etc would take it from being a passion and a pleasure to being just a job and take the love that I feel for it out.  However, my husband has shown me that this is simply not the case and not only showed me that passion can exist pursuing music as a career, but also rekindled the fire inside of me for my music that I had given up on and let go out.

When I started out playing and singing, I was very insecure, but I had been taught not to apologize for the mistakes in my music (as so many musicians do).  I remember my first solo recital, and for some reason I had gotten it in my head that since I was "headlining" (if you can consider it that for a classical recital) to bow in between each song that I played.  As a classical pianist, typically you bow when you're done and that's it.  However, even while playing Kinderszenen (Scenes from Childhood) which consists of 13 short pieces, each about a minute a piece, I stood at the edge of the piano after each part and bowed.  I look back now in hindsight, and feel foolish for how I must have looked, especially since the majority of the people I was playing for I knew, and had known me since very young, though I was only 15 at the time of the recital, but to be that formal and that, pompous is the way I see myself at that time, to bow and require those that had supported my music in youth to applaud me every  two minutes seems quite absurd.

When I first met my husband, he told me stories of when he got his start. He would regale me with tales of his first tours, his first major concerts, what it was like to play before 1.4 million people.  It would blow my mind, and honestly used to cause fear in me of whether or not I had the chops to play with him, which is truly my dream (the fear of which is gone, and replaced with nerves and good anxiety, anxious to debut our album and band to the world thanks to my husband's encouragement and teaching.)

  He would also tell me about the common mistakes that musicians would often make when reaching out to record companies.  Joshua taught me that most A/R reps would take offense if you sent them in a recording, apologizing for crummy equipment or production value, because they have the experience to be able to tell the difference, apologizing or pointing it out, not only can seem unprofessional, but offensive to the reps implying that they can not tell the difference (though obviously my husband put this less abrasively and more articulately than I just did.)  But I understood his point.  Not apologizing for what you are lacking in (as far as your art is concerned) is crucial to being a professional performer: whether it be a lack of proper equipment, a lack of professional production, etc.

However...

Looking back and acknowledging those mistakes is key to growth; not just in your music but in life.

When I first met my husband I believed in the mantra, Make mistakes not regrets.  But now I look back on that belief and see it as foolish.  If you have no regrets, no true regrets, then how are you going to learn from the mistakes that you have made?   The truth lies in not letting it rule your life and stop you from moving forward.  My husband always says, You must confront your past because it is always gaining on you.  And when he first said this to me I had laughed a little bit, imagining my past literally running up behind me as a phantom.  However, it is a wonderful turn of phrase.  Because our past is constant and present.  It is our future we have to strive towards.  Even as I type these words, they are now in the past.

I have a lifetime to go to gain the wisdom that my husband has about life.  I would need a thousand lifetimes to be frank, but I hope to catch up to him at least to do him justice musically.

My husband is what you would call a prodigy.  He picked up the guitar in 6 weeks. Not to say that he didn't put in his hard work, he did.  Practicing 6 hours a day or more.  Every day without failure.  When you see my husband play, the guitar is literally an extension of himself.  A way to share a piece of his soul.  I've never seen or heard someone let the music flow out of them the way it does my Joshua.

But I wasn't writing this to simply brag up my husband, though it is one of my favorite past times (and I think it's only bragging if the talent isn't there to back up the claims, and in this case it is in spades.)  My husband is constantly looking back at his past work and critiquing it.  He listens back to his current playing and critiques it.  He is constantly looking at himself and his work and thinking, pushing and working to make improvements.

As an artist, I believe this is one of the greatest gifts you can have.  There is a reason it is called practicing art.  Because there is no perfection in art.  If you believe you have reached perfection, than there is no more you can do, nothing more for you to create.  Nothing more for you to change.

My husband just tweeted about music changing the world.  We don't have musicians that strive for this any longer.  Musicians used to push to share their passion, their love with the entire world for music is the universal language.  It can reach all corners of the earth and no matter what language it is in, with great music you can understand exactly what is the meaning.  Music isn't like this today (and of course, we will be changing that and bringing real music back through our own and by finding others through our record company GTRecords. #Shamelessplug)

I've posted several of my husband's old songs, and new recordings (secretly recorded via my phone) on Youtube.  And while some of his older work he makes clear that he doesn't favor, he also knows that once our new album is released that people will be able to hear the remarkable difference between his performance then and now.  Although his older work is still better than anything out today, his advancement after years of working hard and pursuing improvements on his playing, his voice, and his sound is remarkably apparent and truly a life and soul changing experience to listen to him.  I am truly blessed to be one of the few who have heard the angelic nature of his voice (and by angelic I mean the power and the rasp that one would imagine would have invoked a Fear Not in the bible, not the little naked babies with wings.)

But he agreed to allow me to keep his older works out there, not just because we used some of his older works for a great purpose (#BeRobin #HelpTheHomeless) But because he knew that it would be a great lesson to up and coming artists who want to pursue music.

We see these kids today on television shows such as American Idol, The Voice, etc and they are all in their teens crying because this is their last chance, and they've spent their whole life dreaming of being a singer.  At 13 years old, after singing for only a year or two, how can you believe that one audition is the beginning and end of your dreams?  If so, then how will you stay strong in the cut throat music industry if you do make it?

My husband put in a lot of time, and a lot of work to make his career and to perfect his sound, (and while I may sound as though I am contradicting a previous statement I'll elaborate.)  My husband's sound is flawless.  It transcends any sound I have ever heard come from an electric guitar.  It is raw.  It is crisp.  It is gritty and dirty.  It is clean.  It is beautiful. It is nasty.  He can even make his feedback be in tune with the song he is playing (as you can see in the below playlist in his original instrumental Hazy Days)





to be continued....