Oh how I want to scream to the rafters about my current circumstance and health. Yet, I will not. First and foremost many people can understand that when dealing with extreme pain there's only so much you can talk about as your energy is dealing with coping. So something had caught my attention early this morning.
A friend of mine, an IFBB pro bodybuilder, had a question asked of him. It was quite simple. Who is your favorite and/or most influential bodybuilder.. The answer was and always is Lee Haney. The replies were unbelievable. I will not go into those. I'm using this as a point of reference, as I had read many different replies which are based upon personal opinion, I notice, yet again that opinions become futile and essentially infringe on the rights of other's opinions. Yet it all comes down to perspective.
I grew up in the age of the great Michael Jordan. You would be hard pressed to have me ever change my mind in the fact that I will always believe he is the greatest basketball player of all time. Yet, would Michael Jordan be thee Michael Jordan, without the greats before him. And I spell out the word thee instead of capitalizing the word "the" that simply makes my point of perception.
Back to bodybuilding. We recognize Arnold as being one of the greatest, allowing another man to come about such as Lee Haney to set a bar, a yardstick if you will, that has not yet been matched or surpassed. As I was an All American basketball player, one of my team mates, as I was a junior and he was a senior, just before practice one day, this friend had asked me a question. It was common knowledge in the area where I grew up that I knew everything there was about the game of basketball down to player's shoe size.
My friend asked me what I thought of Dominique Wilkins. Like a fool, I answered "he sucks" Which is far from the truth. I will explain momentarily why I say is instead of was. Before Michael Jordan had come into the league, Dominique had been league MVP, a several time all star, soon to be a two time slam dunk champion and at this time playing for the Atlanta Hawks, he was a three year running league leading scorer. Let's not forget, he was a professional basketball player.
Now here comes the great Michael Jordan. Michael had the charisma, the look, the skill, talent, hard work, the articulation in his playing and his speaking along with the style which adds up to one thing, the "it" factor. He played in a time of the greatest players, the greatest teams, at basketball's highest point with the hardest competition, where more legends came out of this era as they are still legends in this time, and he beat them all.
We as people often lie in silence steaming about what we wish we would have said. As often in my youth, and still to this day I constantly think. When I went to bed after the night of the practice, I could not stop kicking myself. Though I was only 16, my lack of conviction haunted me. I had to make this right. I went back the next day and had a conversation with my friend who not only asked me this question, but with ignorance, agreed with me. I do not remember exactly what I had said to him that evening, but I still remember my thoughts the night before. Here I, at 16 years old playing high school basketball. And though I was great at the game my friend was not, though he thought otherwise as far as himself. I have literally thought this:what a bunch of punk kids we are, a term often used by adults in my youth. Two high school athletes sitting on an ignorant position that Dominique Wilkins sucks. Without going into more detail the only proof I need that he did not suck (which is a stupid word unless it is being used as a verb, but in this case it's a noun) is the fact that he was a professional basketball player. And he is one of the greats. I don't care if you ride the pine, if you're a pro in your chosen profession then that's all that needs to be said.
Now back to why I said is instead of was. Dominique (who is in his 50s) and of course Michael Jordan both could still dominate not only in the pro league, but of course college and high school, especially when in playing condition. We do these types of things all the time. We give in, we follow, essentially we jump on the bandwagon. Our path in life should be to grow and attain wisdom, ultimately gaining perspective and wisdom; and to me the definition of wisdom is the clarity of the truth, not the perspective of your truth, not of truthfulness. But the truth that lies in the spirit that connects everything in this universe that stimulates the absolute of righteousness. We stand on the sidelines and say we can do better. The adage if we have our health we have everything allows for this for it is the truth. And if you want to listen to someone who knows this who understands how health or rather the lack thereof can affect it then hear what I am saying as there is a difference between hearing and seeing. I see children today being a product of their generation more than any other time in history a judge. They are ignorant. Their jaded perspective consumes them. I used to find children conforming to their elders; I now find elder conforming to their children. The youth in this country want a handout. They are sycophantic. They make the same ignorant comments that I made when I was 16, but on far more important issues, mine was a lack of conviction about something I knew as much as a person can know, their ignorance based upon the following of another person's point of view and that lack of perception is drowning further in the lack of conception. Ignorance stems from the word ignore meaning to ignore the way, the truth, the light. To not be ignorant is to educate oneself. And in today's world this can come in a click of a button. Again in my youth, my personality comes from my own life experience,children today developed their personality from their favorite tv character as they mimic what looks and sounds cool in a movie and/or tv series. But I would be remiss if I did not say that some of this may be helpful in development. I patterned my game (b ball) after Michael Jordan, but in retrospect I was playing as he did before I knew of him. When I listen to Micheal Jordan speak in his early 20's, there was an incredible difference between when he was a junior at North Carolina. Then going into his first year in the NBA. He credits his father with this. (An interesting fact, Michael was drafted first to the Portland Trailblazers. Portland passed their pick off to Chicago who had the third pick nabbing the great Michael Jordan. Also, Michael blew out his knee in the first year. Everyone said his career was over. But of course, it was not. Also, leaving North Carolina early, he promised his mother he would go back and get his degree which is in business. He did this in the summers. Hence perspective and conviction. )Then I look at Justin Bieber at the same age, just another punk trying to run the show. Hiding behind 7 feet 350lb bodyguards kicking people in the head, who happen to be his supporters.
Is perception a choice?
Of course it is. And obviously, so is conviction. My family, they are all insane. They are beyond wealthy. My immediate family, if taken their combined wealth exceeds multi-billions. They are selfish, ignorant, thoughtless, corrupt, greedy, full of hatred and I am nothing like them. But not all ignorance, and not all perspective is a bad thing.
Most people know that I am part black. I have two anecdotes about honest ignorance.
When my father was in his prime he had many employees. Though I was the hardest working and the most underpaid, as my father made it clear that children are to serve. One of his employees who had worked for him for many years is a family friend. To avoid confusion I will tell you his name which is Keith. His father's white and mother black. Keith had asked my father to hire his friend Marcus who was pitch black meaning that in the darkest night that you have ever experienced would seem like a beaming white light compared to Marcus. And one more interesting thing about Marcus, if you are old enough you will remember a tv series called Marcus Welby, MD. And Marcus' last name was Wilby. Black and that name of course he had a sense of humor (plus he was the best hacky sacker I've ever seen in my life.) I had told Marcus and Keith a joke at the age of 12 after work one day. It was a joke that Eddie Murphy made famous. The joke goes why do black people have white palms and the bottom of their feet are white? Eddie then leaned up against the wall during his comedy act, hands pressed on the face of the wall, feet held firmly to the floor and said "This is how God spray painted them/us" Marcus laughed hysterically, Keith did not. Marcus had a convertible; they were sitting in it when I told the joke. My neighbor friend, Jamie who was also 12, was standing next to me. By the look on his face, I was taken aback. Before I go on, let me explain something, I had never seen colors. I was oblivious to race. I'm sure this is with many people, but especially children. When I saw Lee Haney or Michael Jordan, I didn't say that is a great black basketball player or bodybuilder, I just saw great athletes and great people. It had nothing to do with me being black myself, as I am white toned, but in the sun I look like charcoal mocha. Now if this were a different subject it would be a perfect segue to the song Lady Marmalade. And with that being said a pet peeve of mine is when I hear someone saying I am a strong black woman. As opposed to just a strong woman. All these little statements bring about attention to race and to much attention to anything is never a good thing. Back to my story. By Jamie's look I realized who I was telling the joke to. I asked, "Should I have not said that?" Jamie had no reply as he was, and always will be a coward. I thought about this during the evening and into the wee hours. At around 6:30 am the next morning, Keith who had about 8 years on me, to his credit and character actually apologized to me for his reaction. Obviously having proper perspective. Now travel ahead in time to my senior year in high school. One of my best friends was a girl named Shana who had a twin sister named Dana. Father black, mother white. Their younger brother, Damien, adored me as he was also an incredible basketball player. And though he adored Michael Jordan, he was several years behind me in age. But his heros were different. But still appreciated the yardstick, hence the level, of the game that Michael Jordan played. I had forgotten about this old Eddie Murphy joke, but I had seen his comedy act which was called Eddie Murphy:Raw. I had told Shana the joke on the way to class. It was as if Shana was trying to be offended. As I had to repeat who told the joke five times before she finally laughed. My honest ignorance.
Yet, my perspective on race had not changed. I have spoken about how I have played in AAU leagues with players like Chris Webber, Ioppo Montgomery, as well as playing along Dennis Rodman, even the great Michael Jordan, and then it happened. Well into my mid 20s I was in a circumstance where I was in a same room with a black man. Not knowing my race he said, "You don't like me cause I'm black" I replied, "No, I don't like you because you're an asshole." And there it was. The hardhitting fact of racism. But my perspective on race has not changed. It was and is my understanding of prejudice that did. Now I am not here to teach you of common sense, there is a difference between racism and prejudice, look it up.
To stray a bit, have you ever known the definition of a word, but could not explain it with words? Of course you have. You just understand; so why does this apply to something. Some things you just can't wrap your head around. But your heart, that's a different story. Somethings will just drive you insane because of their infinite possibility. Yogi Berra said I had deja vu all over again. I modified this: Joshua Jet Vaughan says, "Have you ever had deja vu about having deja vu"
What does this have to do with perspective? I suppose it's like this. How many times do you have to go over something before you have the right perspective, the right understanding? And if we have opinions that are futile about small issues like Lee Haney or Dominique Wilkins. if we perceive another's opinion to be incorrect on such small issues, well then do I have to ask the question why the world is the way it is? People say it's not how far we go in life, it's how we get there. They also make the statement that your journey in life and how you handle it is a direct reflection of the success that you obtain, actually I said that one. Why are the people who offend the most so easily offended/
So my question to you is, who the hell is they, and what do they know?
If you are a musician you should know what the word crescendo means. Along with modulate and legato. Simply put, to build, ascend, to peak, along with to change and lastly to string together respectively. That's what I do when I make statements. I am not here to tell you what to do, I am here to tell you what to think. Greatness is not held in a bottle, but it can be contained in one. The question lies in this: how do you release greatness that is held captive in this bottle without breaking it and everything inside it? Do you perceive, or do you have perspective? Does your interpretation have to be interpreted? And does your conviction have to be conveyed? And lastly, does your explanation have to be explained? Your perspective lies within conviction. But your conviction can be held captive by your lack of perspective.
My blogpost started simply. Building and building, with different subject matter which is actually the same. Now with all that jibberish that I have spoken, there is something I have had on my chest for quite some time, and this covers everything that I had brought up. Perspective, opinions, anger, judgment, ignorance, conviction, and everything else in between that is written in this post.
Bill Cosby.
See the fact is is I don't always feel well enough to blog; when healthy, my blogposts, my tweets, my life will be different. I have an understanding and perspective of human nature and life that no other person has possessed. I will not apologize for this for the fact that all of you don't have it, for I have suffered to obtain and attain this gift. As we all have our own gifts, this is one of mine. So why am I talking about Bill Cosby now? Well, in my post, people have had great success from their predecessor before the next great thing comes about. And unfortunately many people gain success by leeching off the degredation of others. So let's go into some detail. A woman who has came forward over 35 years later, that backstage at a comedy act that she told Bill that she had a headache and asked Bill if he had anything for it. Bill offers her some pills. She says, Bill what are these, you know I can't handle anything stronger than Tylenol, followed by her accepting and taking the pills. Now what in this, her statement, seems fishy to you? (First, making the statement that they are such good friends that somehow at some point a conversation about her tolerance of medication had come about. Unlikely, but let's still go with it. This now begs the question of why she would make that comment to Bill that is already known. Which means they had a close trusting relationship. After asking Bill what these pills are, she said she could not recall his reply. Which sums it up to this. Fuck it all, I'll take the pills anyway. Take all this information, that's a recollection that is incomplete, she is very clear on what happened before, and very clear on what she believes happened after; continues on with her life and as of now, as she claims the tragedy and the torment of it all, yet it takes 34 other women 35 years later before she has the conviction to stand up? When in your life have you been wronged so badly does it take that many people and that much time for you to essentially right a wrong in your own life? And one last note:memories fade and people who want to be victims are easily persuaded to be just that.) Many of the women say that they did not come forward because Bill was America's dad, hence the Cosby show. Let's not forget that this woman says that she believe she was raped because she does not remember. Okay let's go with this. Out of the 35+ women who have came about, as I will not say came forward, do you understand the conspiracy and probability, out of the multitude of people that would have to be involved in allowing and overlooking rape? Now if you believe that it is because Bill Cosby is too powerful, as so many have now made a career from this "outing" of Bill Cosby especially comedians, why would the possibility of gaining success from another man's fall not be more probable and more attainable when Bill Cosby was in his prime. And as far as Bill Cosby, I will end with Janice Dickinson. This is the self proclaimed first supermodel. And let's put this not gently. She is a big mouth, who brags about the number of celebrities she has slept with. But now she's a victim. Part of the 35+. Whether some of this is true, none of it is, I can guarantee you that not all of it is. We must have perspective. We must have conviction. Get off the bandwagon. Rely not on your own understanding, but rely on the fact that your understanding should not be the understanding of another. This lies in arrogance . Be responsible enough to not pass judgment. Be humble enough to understand that judgment is not only a part of life, but is also a necessary evil. But when consumed with righteousness, biblically judgment is a necessity based on love and in love.
How to summarize? It's a safety net. Perception begets interpretation. Interpretation begets conviction. Conviction begets compassion. Compassion begets responsibility. And all of the above begets righteousness. So finally in ending: can we please stop hurting people and start helping them? We can't all be leaders. And we can't all be followers. But we could all lead and all follow and if we have the right conviction, who will be responsible enough to do so at the same time. And that my friends is just one of the many examples of how to bathe in the glory of love.
Your brother,
Joshua Jet Vaughan
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